Today, I fucked up... and my dad is proud of my penis
This happened literally minutes ago and I’m freaking out.
So I’ve been sleeping on the couch in the downstairs because of a bug infestation in my room (there was a hole in the edge of a window, it’s unimportant). So I’m down there all alone, and it’s really late at night, so, being a senior in high school, I… get around to doing what boys do.
So there I am, jackin it, having a grand old time, scrolling through Reddit, all good. I worked it for a long time and I guess I started to get a little… hypnotized by the repetitive motion. I started nodding off a little bit I decided I was gonna finish and then I could sleep. Well next thing I know it’s late morning (11:00ish) and I wonder why I never finished, because I can’t remember it. While I’m considering why I possibly would’ve decided to sleepily tuck it away at the last minute, my dad, who has been walking around making breakfast, approaches me.
“Hey can I talk to you kinda seriously for a minute, and trust me this is awkward for me too.”
“Probably not” I say with a joking tone, I have a feeling I’m not gonna like where this is going.
“When I came down at 6:30 this morning, you were laying there… BUTT NAKED.”
“Nawww” I whisper, but I’m screaming internally. I got sloppy, and the day of reckoning was upon me.
“You had your phone on your chest” he added. “Now I don’t have to worry about you doing all that sexting stuff do I?”
“Absolutely not.” I had just told him about a girl I was interested in a few days ago. My timing, as always, was impeccable.
We talked it out and I decided to go with “I dunno man maybe my underwear just slid down as I shifted in my sleep.” He seemed to buy that so we made a pact of silence and reflected on how lucky I was that it was him and not my mother that came down first.
“Oh, and just because it’s me (he’s always been the ‘make dirty jokes to embarrass my son’ type) I’m just gonna say… I’m proud of my boy” And then he just.. walked out.
TL;DR: fell asleep while jacking off, dad found me naked in the morning, is proud of me.
Check out more TIFU: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.
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