I want it bad.

RECOVERY IS NOT A STRAIGHT LINE - THOUGHTS FROM THERAPY

Recovery from depression and anxiety is not a straight line up; There will always be good days and bad days - sometimes ‘not sad’ is the best it gets, and it’s okay.

Big fat bowl of amazing 😍😍 A bizarre mix of shirataki noodles, morel/chantarelle/baby bella shrooms, pineapple, curry paste, cilantro, Thai basil and tofu 😀

I’ve received a lot of hate messages today on here. It’s odd for me because I generally never get much hate, considering all the people I like to think I’ve helped. Instead of responding to anyone, I figured I would put a little spin on it and tell you guys a story.

I grew up with a kid named Justin. Although he was a couple years older than me, we played sports in the backyard extremely competitively, and we were always trashing each-other about going pro haha. Who was gonna do it first. Who was gonna ultimately win and get their face on a video game cover. It was always soccer, hockey, or baseball. Whatever it was, somebody just had to always win.

Fast forward to middle school, high-school… We never grew out of it. Justin got hated on because he was ‘cocky’ and ‘self absorbed’ because he told people one day he was going to be a pro basketball player haha. He believed in himself to a crazy degree. It didn’t really matter what he did. He would go pro.

At my school, I was always struggling to keep up through injury, but I was the same way. It didn’t matter what. I would have told you I would go pro in pogo-sticking if I wanted to. Neither of us were necessarily superstars, both were extremely grounded, and both worked a lot harder than anybody I’ve ever met. I went off to kick soccer balls and entered the downward spiral that you guys know of.

Justin got a little scholarship to a smaller school in Michigan to play football of all things. A small tight end who only had a few passes thrown his way. It wasn’t for him. He gave up there, and came home to deliver pizzas in our little town called Pewaukee. He was saving up money, because he wanted to pay for one semester, walk on at UW-Madison, and take a shot at maybe getting a scholarship on the football team. Attending community college after telling everyone in high school about his big ambitions, he was mocked, laughed at, ridiculed, made fun of, and received even more hate for still being ‘cocky’ about himself. He was a pizza boy attending community college, telling people that he was gonna be a pro football player. His own manager even laughed at him and said, “good luck buddy!” as he laughed hysterically.

Two years later, JJ Watt, the pizza delivery boy, was drafted into the NFL, in the first round actually. He then went on to sign a $100,000,000 contract, and will probably be one of the most valuable assets in all of sports, within the next few years. In under 5 years, he went from $8 an hour, to signing a contract for one hundred million dollars. Defensive player of the year. Without a doubt he is the most valuable defensive player in the NFL.

I guess he won.

The moral of the story is that JJ never stopped believing in himself. Through constant hate, ridicule, and even in-person mockery, he knew in his SOUL, that he was going to make it. He said it when he was a kid, and he never stopped believing it when he grew up.

I however, did. I’m not saying I would have been a big time pro athlete, but I am saying that I’ll never know what could have been. I gave up, and I’ll never make that mistake again. I believe in myself, and I believe in what I’m doing. I may not be a huge NFL athlete, but I believe that I will change the entire world, and even change how it works. We change lives, we move mountains, and we have already done amazing things that are raising some major eyebrows in the world of fitness. We are just getting started.

Once your find your purpose, protect it. Hold it tight because it’s all you have. People will pick, poke, and take stabs at you, every second, of every day. They want a piece of yours, because they haven’t found theirs, and never will. Don’t lose your grip. Don’t even address the pain these cowards try to cause you.

Something to think about…

Maybe the hardships in dream chasing, aren’t really all that hard. Maybe the struggle comes from allowing the picking and the poking to get inside. Do what you want to do. Do it for you. If you’re crazy enough to actually convince yourself that you CAN do something, I’m telling you that you can. Maybe it just starts with a little self belief. So do the extra reps, work the extra hours, put in the extra time. More importantly, put some extra time into YOU.

I’m just going to say it. I’m going to do it, and you can’t stop me. Here I go…

There is no point in studying.

None.

Zip.

Zilch.

Nada.

Unless you want to be great.

Unless you have goals that are beyond your current grasp.

Because Elle Woods did not pass the LSATs by winging it. Hermione Granger did not become one of the greatest witches of this generation by half-heartedly glancing at her texts.

Rory Gilmore got a D on her first English paper at Chilton. She got hit by a deer on her way to the AP test. AnD SHE STILL MADE VALEDICTORIAN AND WAS ACCEPTED TO YALE. And you wanna know how she didn’t do it? She didn’t do it by not pushing herself to be the best of her ability.

I’m not saying you have to be a unicorn (or a Pegasus) to be magical, fantastical, or to even do well in school. But you must have drive. You must push yourself. Yeah, I’m talking to you. What can you do right now to make your dreams come true? I’m also not saying you have to have a 4.0 GPA. If the best score you can get on a math test is an 88%… TAKE IT. DON’T SIT THERE AND GET UPSET BY THE FACT THAT YOU CAN’T GET TO AN A WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CAN’T GET A B IN THE FIRST PLACE.

There are three little sayings I believe very strongly in.

A) Pain is temporary, GPA is forever. - be the best you can be now, you’ll reap the rewards later. You won’t even remember the migraine you got after that Spanish test… Just the A.

B) You can sleep now, and you can dream. Or you can stay awake, and you can live your dream. - if that means staying up late a couple of nights a week to study vocabulary or nomenclature do it… It’ll be worth it when you achieve your dreams; whether it be college or a dream job.

C) No one can be good at everything, but someone is the master of something. - you don’t have to completely master the art of balancing chemical reactions, but you can master the art of sight reading sheet music. And you can always go in for help with homework or studying at a tutoring center or even online.

Hi hello I’m sorry it took a thousand and one years (had to find a scanner on campus) but here’s a September pep talk.  Keep workin y’all I know things are rough but you can do it xxx hope it’s cool and lovely and the leaves are pretty where you are.

Love always, Hannah