Suburban Critic

nobody coughs up blood dramatically into their handkerchiefs anymore

Look if we're never going to make any original movies again, the LEAST we can do is go back to making modern adaptations of Shakespeare and Jane Austen

I think it's so important and crucial for 20 year olds to witness older people who are genuinely bad at some aspects of being a person but are still living lives they find meaningful and enjoyable. Not just "oh I got married and you can too" but like. sometimes you cannot for the life of you finish college or find a good job or stay in a relationship or arrive to locations on time or whatever it is you think when you're 20 that you HAVE to be able to do. But you wind up finding a place in the world anyway. It happens!

how did we get a 90s high school adaptation of emma before northanger abbey. the high school drama is RIGHT there

As real as the sentiments expressed in this quote may be, I am quite certain Ernest Hemingway never said it.

Oh no :(( a woman reading a romance book. She must be so stupid and air headed, I bet she has no idea that misogyny and stalking and rape are bad. She's a dumb little sheep waiting to fall into the hands rapists and abusers because I know women can't separate fiction and reality, surely we have to blame her and her literary interests on the suffering of all women :(( yes I think I'm so smart and such a feminist for this view point

the funny thing is before this whole thing, the place where I heard "Oh no, girls and women are reading romance novels!!!" was from evangelists and mormons. Wonder what that could say about the impulse to criticize women for reading romance novels!

The other funny thing about evangelicals criticizing romance novels is that they have their own (“clean”) subgenre of “romance novels,” which are wildly popular with evangelical women.

I think the line between a poem and a shitpost is often very thin, and the difference is usually in how much wonder at the observation is being conveyed by the writer

cantaloupe pisses me off because it's basically just a fine fruit, but people are always like "just put the melons together" so they put it in with the watermelon and it makes the watermelon taste worse.

I feel like this is true with most fruit salads in general

There are bettas suffocating in a plastic container at petsmart who would think this is the most romantic thing they’ve ever heard.