Subtly Tangent

I could use your help, but I'm afraid to ask. This is the closest thing. #haiku

I think we should talk before things get worse. I think we are both hurting. #haiku

You are not a lame loser. You're not. Please don't think that for a second. #haiku

I'm so lost. At a loss. Am I really such a bad person? Am I?

Please say something. Please let me know if you have read anything at all.

If you see this and saw my when words fail, please send me some kind of sign. #haiku

Not sure where you're at with things. If there's been any response to the when words fail prompt, I've not seen it. I hope you're ok. Hope we'll be ok. #haiku pair

Don't have much to add here to what I said there this week. Hope all is well. #haiku

I might be reading into it, seeing what I want to see, so I'm hesitant to find true comfort and hope in it as a result. But it seems ... odd ... that there should be 48 click-throughs to my account on that tweet reply that was never liked or responded to. Unless the tweet was being used as a gateway to my account to simplify access because of the block. Why would they do that, though? The theory is that it's to check on me, to see how I'm doing and if I'm ok without establishing direct contact. Which would mean they still care and also explain why my last (final?) tweet has been viewed so many times in possible search for a thread that doesn't exist. And here's the thing, I don't have a problem with that. If that is indeed the case, thank you. Thank you for still caring. Thank you for being you and being clever. Now, though, the gateway has been locked and my reply can't be seen. My account is still reachable by direct search, but its contents are protected. Another path, though, is open. And it's one that leads here. It is meant to be an open door, an invitation — reassurance of my word. I did say I wasn't writing anymore and very clearly this isn't my typical style (e.g. a haiku or haiku thread). Right now, I still have no plans to share things in verse either here or there. I mean, if what I've suspected is true, there would in fact be a point to writing (i.e. someone is still out there who cares.) But I don't want to give myself false hope. I'm posting this on a Saturday morning. Tomorrow will have been a week since my last email (see previous post) and I'll be sending my follow-up attempt then. I guess we'll see how things go tomorrow and in the week ahead. Maybe things will change and maybe they won't. As always, take care of you. Your health and happiness are important.

If for some reason you look here and haven't yet checked your email, please look at the one from the 5th of May. Or if I need to resend it, please let me know that. This post may never be seen. Might delete later. #haiku trio

While I may appear to have grown silent, I've just been talking elsewhere. #haiku

Life is complex and emotions may overlap. You can smile while sad. #haiku

I want to finish, but I know I need to sleep. So I'm off to bed. #haiku

I can make today better. It is within my power to change it. #haiku

I woke in a damp shirt. No clue why. I feel fine, dreams not too intense. #haiku

I am a treasure. I'm a lovable keeper, just too well-hidden. #haiku

Going to be a long week and probably a very long month too. #haiku