#open communication

You know, what is definetely not going to help you build long-lasting, healthy relationships? Assuming the worst intentions. Believing, that people are doing something to hurt you on purpose (unless it's obvious, that they're doing so). Expecting, that someone reads your mind, instead of communicating openly. Wanting your every feeling, decision and every part of your lifestyle to be validated without question. Not willing to compromise absolutely anything in a false belief, that the other person accepting you as you are means, you'll never have to change anything in your life, even if that would be a change for the better. Not explaining, why you're angry at someone. Ghosting people without saying anything, often for minor reasons. This behavior may look tempting at first, because who doesn't want a perfect partner/friend, who likes everything in you, but, in the long run, it's toxic. The "perfect person" you're looking for doesn't exist. No one is an ideal incarnation of someone else's dreams and fantasies. Acting like this is selfish and immature, and only leads to one-sided relationships, unrealistic expectations, loneliness, frustration, objectification and emotional abuse. Sure, there are situations, when someone just isn't compatible with you and it's better to end the relationship, or when someone is really abusive and ghosting them is the best idea for your own safety, but these are much rarer than many people think. Most of the time, the problem is just failed communication. Be open and honest about your emotions, expectations, complaints, leave no place for doubts, second-guessing and understatements. Don't be afraid to say, why you're happy, why you're angry, what you want and what you don't want. Expect the same openness from the other person. Respect their opinions and feelings, while also expecting them to respect yours. If they do something wrong, don't assume, they're doing it on purpose, unless you actually know, they're doing it on purpose. Be willing to forgive their mistakes and to admit yours (while expecting the same from them, of course). Only then will you know, if this is the right person. Open, honest communication, having high, but realistic and achievable standards and holding yourself to the same standards you expect from others, will help you build a healthy relationship. The "I only live for myself and don't owe anyone anything, just accept me as I am or go away" mindset won't.