welcome to the gun show

I wish I had stopped to savor it, the last time I saw a kung pow penis. I never knew it was to be my last

People who are like “erm why would I take a 6 hour train when I can fly there in 45 minutes” are forgetting the mental toll of Being In An Airport which shortens your lifespan by 2 months each time

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently