Submissive

You can’t disconnect sex toys from disability and disability history. If you use any body-safe silicone today, sex toy or not, you have Duncan to thank.

More on Duncan here:

Hi! Im Hank, also known as Pansy Leatherwork. I'm a fat, butch, tgurl leatherworker based out of Chicago. I started working with leather last June after working a retail position at a large leather shop in my city. One of the big things that led me to leave that job is how they thought they were making stuff that was inclusive to everyone but just frankly... weren't

Where was the stuff for the transsexuals, the fat bitches, the girlies getting paid $15/hr, the freaks that make up the actual communities I exist as part of?, the freaks like me? So I put in my two weeks, started doing phone sex again to cover my bills, and bought some tools and got to learning

Now, just under a year out, I'm genuinely astonished at how well my work has been received. I operate on sliding scale, even on my website, and getting to hear how my stuff gets used or seeing it in action genuinely fills me with an amount of joy I can't properly express.

If what I do seems interesting to you, you can check out my work at Pansy-Leatherwork.com or my Instagram, @pansy.leatherwork

No, really, listen to me

I did not scroll back through 2 hours of posts just for you to ignore this.

Take a second to look at her site

These leather prices are great. Downright criminal even.

You see those beautiful, hand painted CUSTOM stamped collars? That shit would usually be EASILY 100 bucks

Those collars are 70 dollars max and have a sliding scale down to 45

Do you know how insane that is??? Do you know how insane it is that that quality is available practically at cost if you’re struggling???

CHECK OUT HER SHIT AND REBLOG IT TO SPREAD IT.

I do love bondage, I love tying up a partner and reading one of my stories aloud, then watching the effect it has on her, whilst enjoying her squirmy inability to touch herself.

It excites me to read out a particularly hot scene, and whisper a reminder of how thousands of women around the world have rubbed their throbby clits to these very words, but she can not.

As a result, I've written lots of stories that feature not just smacked bottoms, but unusual means of restraint. So lovers of bondage might enjoy the following exciting tales of capture, imprisonment, and erotic helplessness:

The Sit-Down Dance

Inevitable 

Pride and Obedience

Throne of Shame 

Kitchen Table

Message in a Bottle 

The Naughtiest Thing

Punishment Panties 

Treasure Hunt 

Moral Philosophy

The Girl in the Mirror

The Island of Bones

Stolen Essence

If you have a partner, you might like to ask them to tie you up and read you some of these stories too. Even those reading alone don't need to miss out, they can sit naked with their legs spread, and tie their own ankles to the chair legs - but no touching until the story ends, of course.

Even among people with an interest in adult spanking, we're all different. We have different backgrounds, emotions, values, preferences, and desires. Accordingly, there are many reasons why people find spankings beneficial. Here are ten:

Sexual fulfillment

Intimacy

Stress relief

Foreplay

Bonding

Communication

Submission

Discipline

Focus

Ritual

Most spankos would identify multiple items from this list as appealing to them.

The sexual fulfillment angle is a very popular one. Couples often use spanking as foreplay and in conjunction with intercourse. For most people, feeling your lover's hand on your bare bottom (or placing a hand on your lover's bare bottom) is clearly erotic. Administering a spanking is merely one additional step further. Some women achieve climax during a spanking.

BUTT WAIT! I'll go over a few more

In today's world, stress is almost a given. We try to complete too many tasks in too little time. Freeway driving is a nightmare. The list goes on and on. Many spankees find that a spanking offers an emotional release that can effectively strip away nervous stress.

Communication is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Spankings can aid in communication by breaking down the spankee's barriers and inhibitions.

Submission is defined as a desire to be led by another and to place their needs ahead of one's own. Submission and its mirror image, dominance, take many forms. Some may be perceived as extreme, but others are quite innocuous. For a submissive, spankings can provide an outlet for those feelings.

Couples in domestic discipline relationships use spankings to enforce established rules. The desired result is a peaceful home and a loving relationship.

Many spanked women, and men find that after a good spanking, their concentration and focus are improved.

Finally, many of us enjoy the ritual that sometimes accompanies a spanking. Done well, a ritual can make the experience more intense, more memorable, and more meaningful.

These ten considerations are not exhaustive. There are no doubt other reasons why people find adult spankings to be valuable. This list is intended to illustrate the broad spectrum of spanko life.

You may have noticed that pain isn't on the list. This omission is intentional. When people think about spankings, it’s easy to get caught up in the physical act. After all, it is pretty mind-blowing to voluntarily lie across your lover’s lap while he repeatedly beats your bare bottom with a wooden board. The pain can be quite intense. No amount of preparation or experience ever changes that reality. But there is also a spiritual aspect that may not be so obvious to those who have yet to experience it. At least at our house, the primary goal of a spanking is not a warm, red, stinging bottom, alright that may have gone too far there. Of course that's what the final result should be. BUTT...(there's that big butt stuck out again) That outcome is merely an unavoidable byproduct of a more important aim. For reasons I don’t fully comprehend, a well-executed spanking can transport my mind to a different space. It’s an intoxicating blend of euphoria, sexual energy, connectedness, and fulfillment. I suppose this sensation might be compared to a “runner’s high.” I love that place, and in fact, I crave it sometimes.

As I said at the start, there is no one simple answer. But that is not to say there is no answer at all. Each person must seek their own resolution. But for those of us who love this lifestyle, those answers lie close at hand

The master list of previous naughty games is here.

This naughty game is inspired by the opening scene of Head Girl Part 2, where a character is spanked with ginger paste applied to her intimate places, so it feels like much more than her bottom cheeks are burning.

A previous naughty game has described how to carve and play with fresh ginger, but fresh ingredients aren’t always available, and can quickly spoil. What if there was an alternative, which was even more intense, but also more discreet and convenient too?

But first, some chemistry.

The active ingredient in fresh ginger is Gingerol, a chemical relative of capsaicin and piperine, which give chillies and black pepper their spicy kick. Interestingly, when ginger is dried or heated, gingerol undergoes a reaction that forms compounds called shogaols, which are about twice as pungent as gingerol. This is the reason why dried ginger is hotter and more spicy than fresh ginger, and the reason why it’s stronger when we cook it. 

Whilst ginger (and chilli) feel hot, they’re not caustic (like acids and soaps). It’s important to be aware of the difference: with ginger, the burning sensations result from a chemical interaction with sensory neurons in your mucus membranes. Whereas pain from an acid is caused by actual corrosive damage, resulting in a chemical burn. Ginger and the capsaicin in chilli don’t cause physical damage, which is why they’re safe to eat. Always be careful about what you use internally, food ingredients are invariably better.

Making Ginger Paste

If we wanted to make a paste from fresh ginger, we’d have to account for the fact that being phenol oils, the solubility of gingerol and shogaol in water is low. So if you’d need to steep the shredded root in another oil (like olive oil), probably for an hour in a pan of boiling water to increase its solubility. Once cooled, you’d filter the ginger shreds from the oil through a strainer, and transfer the oil to a bottle for safekeeping. Which is all rather messy and a bit of a faff.

You can also buy ready-made ginger paste in jars, this is more convenient, but because the  ginger is raw, it might be more aromatic than pungently hot. It also has a finite shelf-life once it’s opened, its sticky lumpy nature might not be great for smearing evenly, and you can’t really make it any hotter just by adding more of it.

A potentially hotter and less wasteful option is to make your own ginger paste from dried ginger. Because of the hotter shogaol compounds it contains, this should produce an even hotter sensation with a much smaller amount of ginger. 

The process of making ginger paste is pretty simple, with only two ingredients. The first is generic ground ginger powder, the kind you get in little glass jars in the spice section of supermarkets.

The second is something to dissolve it in, something you’d use for stir frying is perfect, like vegetable or olive oil.

Using an oil as a base is essential, as the active compounds won’t dissolve much in water. It’s best to use a cooking oil from the kitchen cupboard, as anything safe to eat will also be safe for internal use.

Begin by pouring a teaspoon of your oil into a tiny dish, plate or ramekin, you won’t need much at all.

Now add a few shakes of ginger powder, or a fraction of a teaspoon, to the oil. 

The key decision here is how much ginger powder to use. This can be difficult to predict, as it depends on the quality of the ginger used. So the best approach is experimentation, try a measured amount, make a note of how much you used, and evaluate if it’s too hot or not hot enough, and then alter how much ginger you use next time.

Once the ginger has been added to the oil, stir thoroughly with something thin to break up any remaining lumps and achieve a smooth consistency. It is now ready for use.

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How to Play

Once the ginger paste has been concocted, you can begin playing with it. 

Remember if the burning sensation feels too much and you need to remove it immediately, it can be easily rinsed off with running water and a damp washcloth. 

One idea is to turn an ordinary butt plug into a punishment plug. First, smear a toy with lube, then smear a layer of ginger paste on top of it. Try wearing it inside briefly at first, to establish how hot the burning feels. Once you’ve got a feel for the strength of the ginger and how long it takes to become uncomfortable, you can establish how much time your plug should be worn as punishment.

The ginger can also be applied to dildos, and is particularly effective for naughty seats, where a suction or strap-on dildo is affixed to the seat of a stool or chair. For best effect, combine with sitting on a well-smacked bottom.

An alternative for those without toys is to smear a little of the paste around the bottom hole, either with a fingertip or a paintbrush. 

The paste can also be applied to the labia, the entrance to the vagina, and the hood of the clitoris. Best to experiment with tiny amounts first, as these areas are exquisitely sensitive.

Masturbating with fingers covered in ginger can feel incredibly illicit, as if you really shouldn’t be touching ‘down there’. Before becoming a race to climax before the growing heat becomes unbearable.

If you have a disciplinarian, being sent to the kitchen to make ginger paste can be an effective part of the punishment.

Ginger paste can also be applied to a cloth for bottom wiping, before, during or after spanking play or solo self-spanking games.

Your own personalised ginger paste

To reiterate, the best way to play with ginger paste is to start with mild sensations and progressively intensify them by increasing the amount of ginger you add to the same spoonful of oil. Powdered ginger has the considerable advantage that you can measure out what you use, something you can’t do with fresh ginger, which is an all or nothing experience, and varies widely depending on the quality of the root. 

If you keep a record of the quantities used, the amount of ginger can be gradually increased until you find the ratio that works best for you. The exact amount to use will depend on the brand of ground ginger, as they tend to vary in strength. Everyone’s threshold of discomfort is different, some like to feel the burn, others prefer a lower heat.

Be aware that the burning sensation of ginger does build over time, so what might seem to have little effect initially can actually feel very hot after 10 or 20 minutes. This can feel very intense, if you haven’t tried it before there’s no harm in beginning cautiously.

I’ve been wanting to try figging since finding your tumblr, but have always been a touch afraid to try. I decided recently to try the ginger powder and Vaseline method someone else wrote about through anon and my word, my poor little bottom was on fire. I imagined being made to watch as my stern nanny or disappointed mother (or even you yourself Sir) mixed the punishing concoction and smothered a good sized buttplug that would be just a touch uncomfortable to put in my naughty bottom. After stripping naked, I set up my bed with under the mattress wrist and ankle restraints and strapped myself in, leaving one hand free. I put my phone infront of me playing an hour long very naughty spanking video, made sure my pillows under my hips were secure and pushed the plug into my awaiting bottom hole. My hole ached as I pushed the plug in, feeling the stretch before finally taking it all in. I loosely secured my free hand and waited for the burn as I imagined the bottom being spanked and scolded was my own. The burning kicked in quickly and it was a true punishment. The burning made my already slick slit soaked and tingle, I couldn’t decide to fantasise if I was being punished for being wet or getting wet from being punished. Either way, the stretch of the plug and new found burning made me struggle against the restraints while I desperately tried to hump the pillows under my hips to relive the desperation in my belly. I managed to get myself to orgasm twice with the burning paste and plug in my bottom after 10 minutes of struggling and finally getting the pillows low enough for my to rub my very desperate clit on. In total I spent a little less than half an hour in desperation trying to cum with a further 10 minutes laying with the plug inside listening to my imaginary spanking afterwards. Thank you very much for inspiring this experience

Thank you for sharing such a wonderfully constructed experience, I'm sure it will inspire many other readers to experiment with the burning hot delight of a ginger-smeared plug.

I loved the little details, such as using ankle restraints to keep your legs spread, and imagining yourself inside a spanking video. I applaud your creativity. Well done.

If you decide to play this way more often, I'd recommend measuring out the quantity of ginger powder you use, so you know exactly how much to use. Then you can add a few grams, or take a few away, to establish the intensity of hotness that you can endure for 30 minutes without being overwhelmed.

But next time, no rubbing. I'm sure if I, or your stern nanny, was in charge of your discipline, you wouldn't be allowed to grind your needy little clit on your pillows, or your stiff throbby nipples on the mattress. You'd just have to lie there, with your hands on your head, feeling the scorching heat of the huge plug stretching your tight little hole.

I'm sorry, have you seen NATURE???

and there's so many more species than this that exhibit homosexuality, varying genders, etc. SO! MANY!

it's very much a natural thing. it always has been. unfortunately, while homosexuality is found in many species, homophobia is only found in one

I'm doing research for a potential follow-up zine and I would love for any transmasc aligned folks to fill out this survey if you have 2 minutes!

I'm not collecting email addresses and not every question is required. I want to know what people want to learn about.

Dear NSPoSB,

         Look, I hate the term “spanko”, but it is widely used to describe a person with very specific experiences. If your partner has a spanking fetish, it’s been with them their entire lives. They probably looked up “spanking” in the dictionary by the time they got to 3rd grade. Then they probably looked it up many times after that, without really understanding why. They might have reread those scenes in the Little House books that featured spankings, or else watched with rapt attention if there was a spanking in a movie. Then, one day, they probably typed “spanking” into whatever search engine was popular at the time (I wonder, did anyone ever ask Jeeves about spanking? Surely they did).

         It can be hard talking about the spanking bug. Here are some things you should know.

1.     It’s almost impossible to talk about.        

I don’t think that I am the only spanko who blushes just to hear the words “spank”, “discipline”, “punish”—or anything related. And forget about saying them aloud. Somehow we learn early on as children that we cannot talk about our weird fascination with spanking, and then it becomes a secret that we carry with us for decades. The longer we carry it with us, the harder it is to speak. I didn’t tell a soul until I was 17, and I still can’t talk about it aloud. I can’t even type it if I think that it will be read by someone I know. It’s difficult to communicate what we want and unfair to you. I’m sorry.

2.    It’s not a sex thing. Except when it is.

When we tell you we like spanking, you’re probably thinking foreplay. That’s not what we mean. For many of us, spanking is a drive that runs parallel to our sex drive. The spankings that we want can be entirely non-sexual. Many of us look for spankings that are disciplinary or therapeutic in nature. A good spanking is a cure for many things: stress, grouchiness, attitude, sass.

But spanking and sex aren’t entirely unrelated, either. If we don’t have spankings in our lives, our sex drive plummets. Spankings outside the bedroom can have a very real effect on what happens inside the bedroom, even without a single sexual spanking. Personally, I’d rather live my life without sex than without spanking.

3.    Spank harder than you think.

There are a lot of people who are into spanking a little bit—like a couple of smacks on the ass during sex—but spankos want a real spanking. That’s a lot more involved than what normal people want when they say they like being spanked. Spankos want to you take them to a straight-backed armless chair, tip them over your knee, and spank their behind red. And they probably want you to scold them while you do.

Obviously, this differs depending on the individual. But in general, I know mostly spankos who would much rather get spanked a little too hard than be left feeling unsatisfied. A good way to do this is to start spanking with your hand, not too hard, maybe over their clothes, and progress to spanking their bare behind. Maybe you use a hairbrush or other implement as the spanking reaches its climax.

Lots of spankos would love to cry from a spanking. Some of us just can’t no matter how painful it is. Some of us (ahem, me) cry from two swats with a paddle. You’ll just have to make your partner tell you their limits. Consider using a safeword if they want to be able to resist the spanking without stopping it.

NSPoSB, there are so many things that your partner is trying to imply when they say, “I’m into spanking.” I know that I haven’t covered all of them, but I hope it’s a start. Dig deeper into what they mean. Ask them specific questions. Make them answer in writing: it will probably get you more detailed answers. And know that you are doing your partner a huge service by participating in this deeply-rooted need that they have.

Love,

like to charge and reblog to cast

If you’ve known me for longer than 10 seconds, you’ll know I’m a brat. There’s a running joke that punishing me, is not punishing me. At this point I would consider myself a spanking expert, having gone over several hundred different knees in my day (no exaggerating). A few of you (very few) of you may have even gone over mine. The results have been incredibly mixed with everything from laughing at you, to screaming at the top of my lungs, to becoming exhausted because it’s taking so long. Therefore, I will speak to you honestly and from the heart about what your Middle is probably thinking and feeling, but know that spanking is not a science, it’s an art. There is a finesse to it, and you should be tailoring it to the needs of your boy because tastes will vary widely. Not every Middle is a brat and punishment isn’t for everyone, but if it is then I hope this helps! Adults Only 18+. Please and Thank you. 

How do you approach the topic of spanking with a Middle?

1. Don’t ask me about my childhood. The answer to your question is obvious. I grew up in the deep rural south in a one-horse rodeo town. You do the math. It’s creepy for you to ask “Got it growing up?” because I did obviously, and I know you’re perving out about it in your head. That’s not inspiring my confidence in meeting with you. I get it though, you’ve got traumas, so do the boys you’re playing with. I understand that it helps to talk about these things sometimes (I’m not your therapist bro), and that spankings are super cathartic (Why else would I do it to myself? Come on now. Think). If you’re one to take a stroll down memory lane, do so with me after our session. How about sharing the experience that’s stuck in your head first, before I tell you mine. You have to give to get. If I just met you, I don’t know you well enough to open up my heart like that, and I probably don’t want to. Maybe that’s just me though. Ask me instead about how I want to be spanked, and maybe I’ll tell you what day I’m trying to recreate for myself. That’s my decision though. Otherwise, the what’s and how’s of my upbringing questions are super creepy. Not to mention it’s totally outside my headspace. I’m still growing up. Asking your Middle to reflect on something that in their roleplay is supposed to be presently or recently occurring, is counterintuitive.

2. “I’m going to spank that ass… and [insert something about fucking you here]”. A charming proposition if you’re a horny twunk on Grndr. That one always makes me smile because I’m immediately thinking, ohhhh you must be new here. That’s just rough sex. We might also enjoy that immensely, but that’s definitely not what Middles are about. I always again take it back to the football coach analogy. Listen to these two scenarios… “Boy, I heard you were causing problems in ___ class today. I’m going to need you to come down to my office so we can have a serious talk about your behavior.”  Oh man did you see that? Expertly crafted pickup line. Your Middle just got a huge stiffy in his jock over that one. Compared to yours, the football coach walks in and says “Boy, I’m going to slap that ass red and you can take this dick to pound town”. Crash and burn Maverick. I just lost all love and feeling for you. My reason goes back to my neighbor, bless his heart, Armando. He’s like a latin adonis, but he’ll put a dick in anything that breathes. All I have to say Órale papi. Hoy cena pancho, and I’ll be riding him like a bull at Christmas. Why would I drive an hour across town to your hotel for rough sex, when I can walk next door? For your Middle, anal is a closer. You better satisfy all my other needs first, because once I cum, I’m done. If that’s your opening offer, I’m going to assume you’re impatient and inexperienced and that we’re not on the same page about what this is.

3. Don’t be the overly aggressive daddy. You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar every time. If you come in guns firing telling me you’re going to suspend me upside down from your barn rafters and electroshock my balls while you horsewhip me, I’m going to block you. Well okay maybe not, but I’ll politely decline. Be nice to your Middle. The guy who spanks out of anger has issues, it’s far more effective when you spank with love. We’re not saying to be light with us, we are Middles afterall, you better bring the heat. What I’m telling you is that there is truly nothing more terrifying than the calm and collected daddy who is very disappointed in you and plans to enforce the consequences of his rules. I dare you to speak calmly and softly to me. Whisper it my ear likes it’s a secret that I’m about to get my ass beat and you don’t want the rest of the family to hear. That’s way more powerful than the violent machismo daddy who wants to rip you in half with his schlong after he pulverizes your ass into dust. That’s what gimps are for, and that’s not who most of us are.

4. Okay Marshall you told us what not to do, so what’s a good approach? You can briefly introduce yourself as a dom, but don’t go crazy. “Hey there! I liked your profile. My name is Dildano. I’m a daddy/dom/whatever from Transylvania, and I play with diaperboys/littles/middles like you.” Short and sweet. Let’s me know that you first read my profile (praise be!), and secondly that you might be able to provide for my needs. I’m not creeped out by you yet. Excellent job. The very next thing you should do is ask your middle to tell you about himself. Find an interest, hobby, thing that he cares about and run with it. Even if you’re Googling it as he talks about it, learn something about that. You don’t have to lie to him, just show him that you care enough about him as an individual. He’s telling you about it because it’s important to him. He gets joy in it, takes pride in it. By conversing with him about it, you’re already satisfying his first need as a Middle. That you care about him as a person. Anon kink sex is widely available. If you’re going to roleplay, you must demonstrate your ability to influence my mind first. You’ve got him talking, and you’re feeling good about it. From here you can ask him what he happens to be looking for. Try to let this be a natural flow conversation. From here expand based on cues that he provides you. Chances are high that he will mention that he’s into spanking, but it’s better if he brings it up. That’s when you can start getting into the details about the what, how, how much, how often grit of it. You’re always responding to him though. If he says “yeah I like OTK spankings with the hand”, that’s not the time to say “oh cool here’s a picture of the razor strop I’m going to use on your ass.” You just escalated it way outside of the scope of interest, and now he’s wondering if you’ll respect limits or if you’ll enjoy yourself. 

5. You already have a Middle boy. Your relationship is going good, but you think he’s been acting naughty lately, and could use some correction. Maybe this wasn’t a part of your play before, so how do you bring it up now? In this scenario, I would approach it with the idea that you want to start introducing rules into your play, that if broken had consequences that you followed through on with them. “Like what daddy?”. Cool he didn’t shoot you down completely yet. “Well son, I saw you doing [insert naughty bratty thing here], and I think that the next time that you do that you should get a spanking.” At this point he will either look at you crazy and put his foot down as a limit, or he’ll get a boner about it and decide to try it with you. 

______________________________________________________________________

How do you spank your Middle?

This can be highly variable, and you are looking to tailor it to his needs and desires. It’s going to be different for every boy, and of course you will have different methods that you enjoy. 

Sensual spankings are going to be less common in roleplay. If all you are going to do is “slap slap fuck” that’s just rough sex. If your Middle is advising this, they’re not really that into spanking play. They probably have a low tolerance for pain, and they are just doing it to humor you, or to simulate the act of it. If you’re just spanking over the pants, or the underwear, or the diaper, it’s probably foreplay. If that’s what he’s into, great go for it. All too often though, it’s the dominant who is partial to these types of spanking and you leave us super disappointed because we think we’re about to get something else. 

There’s been times I laughed at a dom for spanking me like that. I’ve left early a few times because they couldn’t do it for me. I’ve had sessions where I started out as the boy and half-way through ended up becoming the spanker instead. This isn’t the response you want from your Middle. Don’t tip toe with us. Be direct. Be firm. No cute implements that came in your 50 Shades of Gay box kit. If I see some pink fuzzy handcuffs and a daddy’s first crop, I’m out. 

The most common type of spanking that your Middle is going to want, is going to be the Dad / Son spanking scenario. For this you’re going to want to have a rule that was broken. Middles are very verbally oriented. Give us the speech. Explain what the rule was, explain how we broke the rule, explain what the consequences are for the rule. Then you’re going to make me repeat it back to you. Your Middles hate that in the best way. “You told me to be home at 10pm. I didn’t get home until 2am. And now I’m going to get a spanking.” Once your boy has verbalized it, his headspace game just increased tenfold. Having to acknowledge our wrongs and then say out loud some childish punishment? Yes please sign me up. 

How you establish rules is between you and your boy. There’s two ways that this can happen. You can set up a rule that’s specific to a goal. You and your boy are trying to improve X behavior or achieve X thing. He doesn’t meet his goal, you set up a time to spank him for it. Alternatively, you set up rules that he can break in your presence. That’s how I like to do it. Did you say don’t wet your pants? I’ll literally stand in front of you in my briefs with a smile on my face flooding them. Your move daddy.  

For most boys, this is going to be a bare-assed spanking. Professional tip. Play diapers can slide right on down to the ankles, and be hoisted right back up again. You don’t have to wait until changes, or mess with the tapes. Just pull it on down. Being commanded to remove your clothes, is not nearly as fun as having daddy do it for you. I want you to tell me to lift my arms above my head while you pull my shirt off. I want to feel you unbuckle my belt, and struggle to pull my pants down around my now raging hard cock. Take your time. The anticipation of waiting is an added bonus. 

 Implements are a tricky game for Middles. Not to insult your masculinity, but most of you guys have soft hands. Start there for sure. We like you to get your hands on our ass. It’s intimate, It’s up close and personal. Eventually though you’re going to have to work up to something bigger. There are certain implements of tradition designed to get your point across. The paddle, the belt, the strap, the switch, the hairbrush. If you’re a British daddy you almost certainly have a slipper or a cane in your collection. These are all good prospective choices for your Middle. That’s going to hurt though right? Fuck yeah it is, and we want it to. Many prospective daddy’s out there struggle with going all the way. It’s against your nature to cause harm, and we’re asking you to inflict physical pain on us. Change how you view it. You’re not hurting us, you’re providing a service. You’re giving us what we’re asking for. If your Middle says he wants to cry, but you’re checking in with him every time he yelps, you’re never going to get him there. Don’t ask me if I’m okay! That’s what the safe-word is for. If things are going well, I’m going to be hurting a lot in just the right way. Am I okay? No. Do I want you to stop. No, we have a code word for that. 

If you’re going to use an implement make sure you know how to use it. A rookie mistake I see is guys who spank too high. This is dangerous. The kidneys sit up there right above your ass. That’s a no-go zone. The top portion of the ass, particularly the portion near the tailbone, should be avoided. If you’re going to use a swinging implement, you better have good aim. Anticipate movement in your boy and adjust accordingly. If you’re going to use a wood implement, watch that tailbone, spank low. The meaty part of the ass near the bottom and that upper thigh area, that’s where you’re going. Basically at hole level on down. Flexible implements will provide a stinging pain, denser objects like wood will cause a heavier blunt pain that is more likely to result in bruising. 

There are two main theories on spanking. Does your boy want it hard and fast or do they want the slow methodical build up? In my opinion, if you opt for hard and fast, you better have me in a solid headspace first. If I’m not used to submitting to you, and you come at me full rapid fire paddle, I’m not going to last long. There is however, a point at which the long buildup can take too long and your boy kind of goes numb to it. Learn to recognize when you hit a lull and take a break. You can always come back to it after corner time. Giving the ass a break is a sign of excellent spankers. Send your boy to time out. Wait awhile, squeeze the cheeks a bit. Then return to the spanking. It will hurt much worse the second time. Trust me. Getting an experienced boy where they want to go is going to take some stamina. When you’re going for the build up, save the woods for last. Hairbrush makes a great closer. They’re heavy enough to bring the pain, but light enough to avoid the dull. If your lexan paddle is thick enough, it will also happily serve this purpose. 

Belts, and straps, your swinging implements are popular, but much less personal. It puts a greater distance between you and your boy. This makes it difficult to hold back resistance, or to establish intimacy. Starting by hand gives you a chance to connect a bit first. Make sure you properly care for your leather. Oil it up once in a while. Especially your straps. Make sure your belt is of a reasonable thickness. Don’t come at me with your casual happy hour belt from Dillards okay? My ass will be laughing at you. You’re either a really good belt spanker, or a really terrible one. I’ve found no in between. There are a ton of Middles out there who are looking for a quality belting. 

Don’t bring unnatural implements to roleplay with your Middle. Cutting my own switch? Very reminiscent. Getting the belt? Very common. Household objects are what you’re going for mostly. If you show up with a cat-o-nine tails, I’m not a Middle anymore, suddenly I’m an 18th century sailor and that’s not cute. Does your implement pass the football coach / dad test? Or is it fucking creepy? 

I follow a rule of three. You can choose three items to spank me with, and after that loses its luster. After that it becomes completely inorganic. Lay a few out and make your boy choose. That can be a fun pre-spank apprehension building tool. Just don’t bring your entire box of spanking instruments. Dad/Son spanking, not let’s try out the whole wall of the dungeon spanking. 

Ultimately, spank your Middle like you mean it. You can proceed with us like we know the ritual. There is most likely going to be a power struggle. Your Middle will likely try to bargain or negotiate with you. They’ll protest greatly. “Do I have to? Can’t I just _____ instead? I’m too old for this”. This is where that verbal play becomes super important. We’re not going to like corner time either. It seems beneath us. Make sure you explain why it’s necessary.  

The typical Middle spanking is going to leave a deep red ass that typically lasts the rest of the day. If your boy isn’t struggling or shouting out, you haven’t arrived yet. By nature of being a Middle, we’re going to try to outlast you. We’re going to try to be tough about it. You have to break us of that. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to spank ridiculously hard or more aggressively. Consistency of swats with some space in between does wonders. Alternate between fast and slow. Put some arm into the swing from time to time. Middles are typically not going to put on a show, unless you take them there. My reactions are genuine. If you see tears in my eyes, they’re real. If I yell out, it’s real. If I’m struggling with you, it’s real. If I’m not doing any of those things, I’m just laying there and I’m probably disappointed. Make sure the reaction you’re getting reflects the expectations to be had from it. 

I’ve also left sessions that were too heavy, too fast. It’s a spanking not a beating. We’re looking for dad levels, not sadistic dungeon master levels. It’s like Goldilocks and her three ass whoopin’s, this one is too hard, this one is too soft, this one is just right. The preliminary work up is important. Get your boy in the right headspace first. Play in other ways before you go for the big one. A few smaller spanks first for example. 

Avoid unnatural positions as well. Laying across the lap, great. Laying across the bed or bent over the bed or desk, great. Bend over a chair, or up against a wall, great. Laying out in a sex swing, not natural. Strapped down to a spanking bench, not natural. Also… Upside down play is high risk. Certain positions like Wheelbarrow, OTK in some cases, and suspension techniques can be dangerous if your boy’s head is down under him too long. Don’t engage in upside down play if you’re not an expert. Just ask yourself WWDD what would dad do? 

Be cognizant of the color of the ass. Reds tend to be okay, but the purples, blues, and blacks are signs of bruising. Never draw blood. Avoid repetitious sessions that form welts. If it starts to look too bad, end the session even if the boy hasn’t reached their goal yet. Give them a chance to inspect the condition and decide if they are comfortable with continuing, or if you are for that matter. Also, if you’re going to use judicial implements like cane, tawse, rattan, or prison strap, you better be an expert and so should your boy. These are not for the faint of heart and  in the wrong hands these can leave scarring marks. When your boy is horny he might say he wants that, he doesn’t really want it, don’t do that. I’ve got a nice little memento on my ass from a time I went too far. You probably wouldn’t notice it, but I know it’s there and it’s regrettable.  

When you’ve finished the spanking you should give the lecture again, and make the boy explain what they are remorseful for and obtain a promise that they will refrain from doing it again in the future. If they refuse to do this or very obviously screw that up, or have an attitude about this, they’re still playing with you and want you to realize they have not learned their lesson and you should keep going. We’ll drop subtle clues like that. If you’re a counter, I’ll miscount on purpose just to start over. Pay attention to his words, expressions, and body language. Don’t forget to be verbal during the spanking as the spanker. Describe your disbelief at how poorly behaved I am and how I need to follow whatever rule that was. 

It should also be noted that when someone says they want a disciplinary spanking, or a biblical spanking, that there are certain additional rituals that accompany this process. 

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What about after care?

Middles need their space. Corner time after helps. It’s a bit juvenile, but after his spanking he’s not going to want to hug you like a Little might. He’ll probably be a bit resentful and hateful towards you for a while after. Let him work it out on his own. Don’t be over there reassuring your Middle it’s going to be okay, or comfort them. We know we were bad and that we messed up, let us self-regulate and reflect on our behavior. Totally different from your aftercare for Littles. 

If you just have to do something, consider a firm handshake from your Middle, or a quick bro-hug. This is not a hold me, cuddle me situation. Just pull my pants back up and send me to the corner. 

You might need to leave the room and just let him have his moment to cry it out. Maybe send him to bed early and let him come down to you when he’s ready. Consider this distancing high praise of a job well done. At the conclusion of timeout, let him decide when he is ready to come back to you.  

It’s also likely that your boy will not be hard, when his spanking is over. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean he didn’t fucking love it. It’s just a physiological response. He’ll get it back soon enough, don’t worry. If your plan is to have sex after, give it time. If I get spanked the way I wanted to, it’s going to be at least an hour before I’m ready. Don’t worry though, if you did it right, my ass will still be plenty burning when we get to that point. 

My typical recovery time from a quality spanking is 3 days. Therefore, in any given weekend you probably get one good session with a middle. You can have smaller sessions of course. Just don’t expect to be going for the gold every day, it’s just not going to happen. 

If you see that purple, black, or white surface, you’re looking at bruising. After you’ve exploded a mountain of cum and been brought back to your senses, you might want to put some ice on it to bring the swelling down. Or if you’re like me, you just let it happen because the constant reminder for days gets you hard! 

Lastly, it’s common for Middles to want to show off their marks to their friends. “Look what I got from coach” or “look what my dad did when I got home”. Let them have their fun with it, and offer to take pictures for them. Not saying we get spanked for the Instagram likes, but it’s sort of a male bonding ritual for your gay Middles. 

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If you are considering meeting up with someone online use this trick identify who really are who they claim to be:

1. Ask them to Skype 2. If they refuse or can’t for some reason ask for a current selfie 3. If they also refuse or can’t do not meet up with them 4. If they provide one ask them to send another with them holding 3 fingers up 5. If they refuse read step 3 6. If they provide a selfie where they show 3 fingers they are probably for real

(If you’re still unconvinced try again with them drawing something in their hand)

“My [fill in trusted adult here] wants to come too. [pronoun] said we can do our own thing and [pronoun] will just sort of grab [pronoun] own table, but I wanted to let you know. Hey, if you have an adult coming too they could sit together!”

If hearing this freaks the other person out and they decline, TERMINATE ALL CONTACT. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to block. I’m 26 years old and if you tell me you’re coming with a friend or parent for your own safety, I will automatically say “hey, cool. Y’know, if you’re nervous we can just do Starbucks or something, I’m okay meeting in a busy place. That way your [adult/friend] can hang out, too, and they don’t have to pay for [admission, a movie ticket, whatever].” Your safety and comfort is important to me, and is important to any good person you meet online who wants to meet up IRL. In the early 2000s when I first started seeing online safety PSAs, this was a widely-spread tip. Use it.

And for the record, you can use this over the age of 18, too. I still won’t meet people from online except in public places. You never know–that person holding up three fingers and drawing a Pokemon on their palm could be some pervert’s child, niece, nephew, family friend’s kid who was encouraged to take some silly pictures. Always voice-verify and always meet in public, with another person if possible. 

In a public place.

With members of her family there.

You’re never too old for this kind of basic safety stuff. Don’t be too casual about it. I knew her for 12 years before we met in person and I was absolutely not insulted that she still wanted that extra layer of protection.

This post contains useful information about astrology. It can be used for both beginners and more advanced people who wants to look over the basics. This is Astrology 101. It’ll help you get started out with astrology, and will provide you with basic knowledge, tips, pictures, help, and useful links.

If you’re wondering about anything, feel free to ask me, and I’ll answer!

Tip! If you’re wondering about anything, ask an astroblog. I’ll link my favourites down below. Don’t ask them to read your whole birthchart or to explain everything (unless they say they can) but ask them specific questions. And remember to shower them in the love and gratitude they deserve.

Why should you look into astrology?

Astrology can help you through anything in life. It can answer all your questions. It can help guide you. Exactly at the time you were born, all the planets and stars where lined up. And they all sent universal energy to you. Astrology and your birthchart is the blueprints you were born with. Your chart is the pavement, and the ground you stand on. The machine you were built into. It is the potential and the possibilities you have. What you chose to do with it is up to you. Which flowers you plant in the ground is your choice. How you’ll upgrade your machine is up to you.

How to start:

If you’re interested in astrology. First, you need to find out your chart. And for that, you need your birth date, place, and time. If you don’t have the time, you won’t have the possibility to look as deep into it as you might want to, but it’s better than nothing!

Here are some places you can calculate your birth chart. The first one is the most accurate.

The recommended one.

This is another one that works.

What does my chart mean?

Now that you have your chart. Make sure you have your chart drawing, a list of which Signs and degrees your Planets are in, a list of which Houses your Planets and Signs are, and a list of your aspects.

This is a link to where you can put in your birth info, and then click on the symbols in it for an explaination! It is very newbeginner-friendly!

Here is Marilyn Monroe’s chart which I made at astro.com:

Picture 1:

Picture 2:

In picture nr. 1 is her: Natal chart drawing, planets in the signs, degrees (exmample Sun 10 degrees Gemini. The degree is between the Planet and the Sign), the aspects, and the houses. But I reccommend looking for your houses in picture 2 instead with the tables. It’s easier to understand.

In order to recreate picture nr. 2 with all the tabels and details, click on:

This is what the symbols mean:

Connections and similarities:

Aries - Mars - 1st house

Taurus - Venus - 2nd house

Gemini - Mercury - 3rd house

Cancer - Moon - 4th house

Leo - Sun - 5th house

Virgo - Mercury - 6th house

Libra - Venus - 7th house

Scorpio - Pluto - 8th house

Sagittarius - Jupiter - 9th house

Capricorn - Saturn - 10th house

Aquarius - Uranus - 11th house

Pisces - Neptune - 12th house

Planets and Signs:

Planets represents what. Signs are why and who.

This link explains Planets in the Signs, and Planets in the Houses.

Sun is the ego, the pride, the glory.

Moon is the emotions, the feelings, the intuitive.

Mercury the intellect, the communication, and research.

Venus is love, art, beauty, sharing, relationships.

Mars is physical power, strength, aggression, passion, fire.

Jupiter enlarges everything it’s in contact with. Travel, knowledge, library, books, wisdom.

Saturn minimizes everything it’s in contact with. Suppression and control. Authoritive, and leading.

Uranus is rebellion, originality, uniqueness, the genuis, bizarre.

Neptune is the subconsciousness, 6th sense, imagination, fantasy, and dreams.

Pluto is transformation. Being reborn, rising from the ashes. Magnetism. Being obsessive.

Aspects:

The aspects is how the planets interact with each other within you, and how they affect each other. Like a bunch of marbles or dominos. One starts moving, and then all the others starts too!

Click here for a helpful link you can use to understand the aspects.

Houses:

Houses represents where.

Here’s an explaination.

1st house AKA Ascendant is you, self expression.

2nd house is possessions and marriage.

3rd house is connections and communication.

4th house AKA IC is roots, home, and family.

5th house is creativity, beauty, art, and drama.

6th house is the body, health, healing, education, work.

7th house is what you provide and give to others. What you share. And relationships.

8th house is sex, death, money, secrets, and mystery.

9th house is higher education, wisdom, knowledge, exploring, philosophy, travel.

10th house AKA Midheaven is career, social status, image.

11th house is hopes, wishes, friends, and community.

12th house is the realm between our world and the other. The doorway. What is hidden. Psychic abilities.

Links to check out:

http://astromatrix.org/

https://cafeastrology.com/

http://www.astro.com/index.htm

http://members.wizzards.net/~magyan/aspects.htm

https://www.sunsigns.org/

https://jessicadavidson.co.uk/astrology-posts/

What to do next:

If you’ve done all this now, I recommend looking into your minor aspects too.

Find out if there’s anything unusual about your chart. Any stelliums or interceptions. Stelliums are when there are 3-4 or more Planets in a House or Sign. Interceptions are when a Sign is enclosed within a house. When it jumps over that Sign at the list of Signs in the Houses.

Now that you know the basics, you can go ahead and continue to explore the astro-world! Find out more about your chart, look at other peoples’ charts, try synastry, vedic, vertex, draconic, persona charts, etc. Now that you have a solid footing, the rest is a lot easier. Let the inner curiousity for knowledge lead you into new areas of deeper and more interesting astrology!

Amazing and talented astro-blogs to follow:

@wizkhalibra @ayyries @astrolocherry @astrocelestial @astrollusion @ayat-the-aquarius @venusianvirgo @cutestrology @lilmajorshawty @leoasf @astrognossienne @shycancer @airmom @frozen-lunar @lulucute @sagpluto @eighthousesun @twelvehousemoon @ninthhousemoon @libraloving @coldbloodcapricorn @mars5th @sunin4th @astrologyputa @astrologymarina @yikes-cancer @aquariusqueen @aquarian-madness @typicalaquariusposts @glossoiogy @venusbased @curvestrology @capvenus @glassy-star @venusian5 @astrolofae @voguestrology @fauxastrology @deepstrology @venusians @jupiterswhore @zodiacale @zodiacharem @astro-hotline @tauro-la-sol @solilunar @astroloshy @astrawrlogy @aesthetics-astro @astrodickology