subKiminal

The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.

These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.

It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.

Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)

Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.

I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:

“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”

Posting some links in response to the comments and feedback I got about my post about my not relating to D/s blogs that don’t talk about having that type of relationship along with real-life responsibilities.  The goal of my blog to make D/s approachable, remove the mysticism and help people see if they are really lifestyle D/s people or just want bedroom play.  This isn’t for everyone.  

People want some down-to earth posts…ask and you shall receive. Here are my various opinions/thoughts on that:

I live in the real world:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/78376577750/i-live-in-the-real-world

Being a submissive in the real world:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/67955785607/so-are-you-his-sub-all-the-time

On training:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/58755289940/training

On rules:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/53152240946/rules

The “right” way to D/s:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/52741160405/whats-the-right-way-to-do-this-d-s-thing

Not like the romance novels:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/52024783584/its-not-like-the-romance-novels

Are you sure this is for you:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/51116895513/so-you-want-to-be-a-dom-or-sub-you-sure-about-that

Being a sub is a lot like being an employee:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/48966188574/why-being-a-submissive-is-like-being-an-employee

Being a good Dom is a lot like being a manager:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/49136386643/why-being-a-dom-is-like-being-a-good-manager

How to find other kinky people:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/47500981606/so-im-kinky-now-what

Have realistic expectations:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/46298458812/its-bdsm-not-magic-have-realistic-expectations

Doms should care:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/34924834698/not-role-play-just-me-because-he-owns-you-doesnt

You need more than just a safe word:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/34924559913/not-role-play-just-me-how-do-you-use-a-safeword-when

Being a mom and a submissive:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/29587673963/a-mom-and-a-submissive

Play punishments vs Real ones:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/51045857101/play-punishments-vs-real-ones-repost

D/s and everyday life:

http://subbieblackgrl.tumblr.com/post/27092882864/everyday-d-s

Is this play or a lifestyle for you:

Everything purple! More on my Patreon