larrying

-you can’t be on your phone without them taking it and reading through whatever you were doing -they frequently mention how much money it costs for your basic living expenses -they casually imply that they’ll take away that support when you disagree about ANYTHING -there are more arguments than conversations -pretty much everything turns into an explosion: chatting about a friend, asking about supper, mentioning something you did that day -(It’s a nuke if you express any opinion) -you never ask for money. You either work or do without. It’s not worth it. -You don’t get privacy- they will barge in your room and bathroom at any time, and anything on your phone or in a journal is fair game -They happily pit your siblings against you/you against your siblings -they convince your other parent that you’re the one stirring up trouble (if you’re in high school) -they don’t stop mentioning your grades- it doesn’t matter if you have an A, it’s not enough -they constantly tell you that you aren’t good enough to get into the college of your choice -they won’t shut up about how you won’t be able to support yourself when you move away -you’re told that you’re never going to leave the house, because they will not be giving you money for college -scholarships. You need to apply to all of them, all the time, and if you express the desire to do anything else for an hour or two, you receive the above. -you might have a car, but that doesn’t mean you get to use it. -you constantly watch your friends make plans, but don’t bother even asking because you accidentally burned breakfast and they’re still mad -it’s obvious they’re actively trying to manipulate you (see: you don’t love me, you never talk to me, etc.) -You aren’t going to miss them when you move out. -you know because moving out is all you think about.

moving around without making any noise

moving around the place without turning on the light

locking/unlocking doors in complete darkness

staying stoic in the face of screaming, threats, and violence

pretense of being calm even if in deep panic

perfect pretense of being fine even in the middle of breakdown

silent crying, crying without making any noise or even tears

doing physical work while crying or injured and not stopping

sensing when someone is angry or stressed because now they’re a danger to you

comforting and calming people down in desperate attemt to lower the amount of danger you’re in

recognizing a person by their footsteps, or a car by the noise it makes when turning to a stop

turning all injustices and anger inwards and making it into self hatred

hiding scars and injuries

expertly making excuses for marks or scars on yourself

dissociating in a second if there’s danger of new trauma

repressing mountains of trauma