St Croix Support

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/ptsd-therapy/

PTSD Therapy

PTSD Counseling

PTSD is real and with therapy you can lead a normal life. People who have PTSD may find themselves feeling helpless since the effects of the condition can leave a person in a state of despair, loneliness, and depression. The symptoms of PTSD need to be addressed at the right time, and at my clinic or online, I extend helping hands to people who may wish to turn their lives around by reducing the effects of PTSD. Through the therapy services, patients can experience quick healing and recovery, and that is possible since I create an environment which enables people to turn their thinking away from the unwanted emotional disturbances that accompany PTSD condition.

For me, working closely together with the patient is seen as a way in which quick healing results can be achieved. The e-counseling platform creates the basis of an interactive interaction between patient and therapy professional, and that approach ensures that I can maintain an active routine check of any patient I am dealing with. Besides, I use the e-counseling platform as an educative tool to spread awareness about PTSD, and how its symptoms can be noticed at the right time before they take a bad direction.

CPTSD Ne te rend pas faible. Ça te fait un survivant- DaShanne Stokes

(“P.T.S.D. doesn’t make you weak. It makes you a survivor.”)

Counseling Made Easy…

PTSD is a condition that can be brought about by many factors. For instance, domestic violence, physical and emotional abuse, grave accidents, sexual abuse, poor parenting, drug abuse, neglects, loss of loved ones, and a host of many other factors including battle. Quick recovery from PTSD depends on understanding the nature of the condition and applying the right remedy. I use the best techniques available to examine patients, and in return provide counseling sessions that can ensure that the affected persons gets through the conflicts. The counseling sessions are in manageable schedules, and online counseling sessions ensure that patients can receive any help they need even when they are far away from the counselors.

People who have experienced traumatic life events show self-loathing characteristics, emotional disturbances, and repetitive patterns of unreasonable conflicts at personal and interpersonal relations. Some victims may even contemplate transferring some of the life pains unto other not knowing that such thinking may affect people whom they love. My counseling strategy begins with addressing the cause of the underlying problem and make a patient come to terms with the state of trauma. The approach enables me to draw a working plan that can enable patients to redefine their thinking and focus on how they can get over the emotional guilt, regret, and pain that accompanies PTSD conditions. For quick results, I am responsive to the needs of the patients and do demonstrate a knowledgeable level of how to deal with different PTSD conditions.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/mediation/

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/mediation/

Mediation

Mediation Counseling

No matter how huge our personal differences are, we must always exercise caution to ensure that our emotional thoughts never run out of control. I am a professional counselor who has dealt with many mediation issues, and the assurance I give to my clients is that we can offer them realistic solutions that can transform their lives.

The conflict management therapy services offered apply to people who may be having conflicts running in their marriages, business partnerships, relationships, and many other familiar situations. My intention is always to adopt realistic solutions that can ensure that both sides of any conflict always come into an agreement. I have excellent strategies that can lead to quick results, and that aspect has enabled us to be successful in many of our mediation sessions. The e-counseling platform offers convenience in that I can establish easy communication links with my visitors, and that close professional interaction ensures that I thoughtfully understand the conflicts that the clients may be trying to solve.

La paix n’est pas l’absence de conflit, mais la capacité à y faire face – Mahatma Gandhi.

(“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it .”)

Counseling Made Easy…

Regular counselor-client interaction is the key to having a successful mediation process. Through the e-counseling platform, I can establish routine contact with all clients, and monitor the level of progress made by the solutions that I have given. For clients who prefer office therapy sessions, scheduling is flexible and does take into account the needs of the clients. A visit to the office will give the feel of an environment that you need to make the problems you have disappear from your life.

For many years I have been offering mediation counseling services, and have met all kinds of challenges, and that kind of exposure has enabled me to be prepared when it comes to dealing with diverse conflict solutions. As a professional I have been highly trained and possess vital skills on how conflicts can be best managed without having unnecessary and damaging situations. I can come up with solutions which clients can find easy to follow.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/motivational-focus-performance-training/

Motivational Focus Performance Training

Motivational / Focus / Performance Training

It is a directive, individual-centered approach to counseling that focuses on improving a persons motivation to change. Today, motivation is one of the most overlooked creativity keys, more than ever before. It is important in unlocking high-level creative thinking and performance.

So if you are engaged in creative tasks, you need to be careful to concentrate on the right type of motivation, and this often proves to be very challenging when one is under pressure to succeed. That’s where a a sport psychology consultant comes in to help in you in your quest to focus better and improve performance.

Vous n’avez pas besoin d’etre tres bon pour commencer, mais vous devez commencer a etre tres bon.- Zig Zigglar

(“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great”)

Counseling Made Easy…

I am highly-trained in sport psychology. I have worked and helped Olympic athletes, elite athletes, and many people who needed to re-organize and improve their focus and performance for better results. Through my e-counselling service, I am able to give unmotivated people the right guidance and assistance needed to achieve great milestones in life, by utilizing my professional counseling techniques.

Motivational counseling techniques and strategies are at times described as simple but not easy. That is because many counselors do not have the essential background of sport psychology training. So, you do not need to go any further for assistance. I will help you become more motivated and improve your focus and your performance. Furthermore, with e-counseling, wherever you are, you will be able to contact me and positively transform your life.

The primary goal of motivational training is to help people overcome their resistance or ambivalence to behavior change. The training focuses on increasing “mastery” performance, that is the execution of a behavior for its intrinsic purpose rather than for its competitive value. The goal is to improve the confidence in a person’s ability to change and that is done by adjusting self-defeating thoughts.

You should also know…

Rather than just identifying an issue and telling clients what to do about it like any other therapy, I encourage my clients to make statements that are self-motivating, to display a vivid understanding of the issue and to make a decision to change and perform.

As one of the most qualified therapists you will find, I create a supportive environment to help unmotivated persons feel respected and accepted, while engaging them in reflective listening instead of direct confrontation.

An individuals motivation to change basically depends on the belief that he/she is able to perform the tasks needed for change. One aspect of the role of a professional therapist, like myself, is to help people develop the focus and the motivation they need to push on with their lives, and become aware of their abilities to successfully undertake the actions required for change.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/child-adolescent-counseling/

Child Adolescent Counseling

Child Adolescent Counseling

Children do go through different stages before they can be said to be an adult. Every stage is essential and comes with a lot of challenges that parents at times, struggle with. One of the stages that can be very tricky and need constant monitoring and guidance of the child is adolescence. It is at this stage that children start experiencing a lot of physical and emotional changes in their life. The bond between the children and their parents begins to weaken as they try to establish their identity. Their mind starts to mature up and they need to socialize and spend more time with others their age.

Les enfants rendent votre vie importante. – Erma Bombeck.

(“Children make your life important. ~Erma Bombeck “)

Counseling Made Easy…

Counseling helps teenagers learn more about how to control their emotions. This can either be done by a parent, teacher or a counselor. However, research indicates that very few parents can effectively counsel their children due to the bond that already exists among them. It is therefore very advisable to take your child to a trained counselor. The way we communicate and approach issues in a large extent determines the way adolescents will react. The way you communicate and also approach any issue in a large extent determines the way the adolescent would understand.

Therapy has proven to be effective in dealing with teen issues. During therapy, adolescents learn to understand their character traits and their emotions. They also learn to understand the difference between what they can control what what they cannot. Managing their emotions is the first step towards making constructive decisions that will impact their future positively. Therapy also provides a safe environment for adolescents to open up about their personal life, therefore, helping the therapist to guide and support them in their daily life. Apart from that, therapy can also make the adolescent open up about their personal life, anything that may be bothering them, which makes it easy to guide guide them.

To many e-Counseling is the best option for teens as they don’t have to meet with the counselor physically.  Your Children now have the luxury of getting the full guidance and counseling in the comfort and security of their rooms without fear.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/grief-therapy/

Grief Therapy

Grief Therapy

Grief is often associated with feelings of yearning, sadness, regret, anger and guilt, among others. Some people may feel a sense of relief, while others can experience a sense of meaninglessness. Emotions are oftentimes surprising in their mildness or strength, and they may also be confusing, like when a person misses a heartbreaking relationship.

Grief therapy aims to help people cope with mourning and grief as a result of loss of loved ones, or with other major grief-triggering life changes. As a professional counselor, I believe that everyone expresses and experiences grief in their own way, which is often shaped by culture. It is common for grieved persons to withdraw from their family and friends and feel helpless; some might laugh. Some may be angry and wish to take action.

During grief, thoughts can vary from “it’s my fault” to “there’s nothing I can do about it”, or from “it wasn’t her time” to “she had a good life.” They can be soothing or troubling, and grieved people can bounce between various thoughts as they try to make sense of their loss.

Il n’y a pas de douleur comme le chagrin qui ne parle pas. – Henry Wadsworth.

(There is no grief like the grief that does not speak. – Henry Wadsworth)

Grief Counseling Made Easy…

My e-Counseling service is designed to help those who are grieving to swing back to their normal lives in the quickest time and most professional way possible. You only need to have an internet-enabled device to access my website for this and a host of other amazing counselling services that I offer. A complete line of counseling based on solution-focused consultations is available for grieving individuals, groups and families. My grief therapy will enhance your emotional, spiritual, and physical growth, and bring you relief. Professionals, athletes, and artists looking to reach their full potential and optimize their life experience can also benefit from e-counselling.

You will learn about different grieving behaviors that run from laughter to crying, and from engaging in silent activities, such as writing, exercising, or cleaning to sharing feelings. Some people prefer keeping their feelings to themselves, and others find comfort in other people’s company, particularly with those who might be similarly hit by the loss.

No one grieving way is better than the other. Some people are stoic and seek distraction from their thoughts others are more emotional and plummet into their feelings. While many complicated and difficult emotions are most often associated with the process of grieving, experiences of joy, humor, and contentment are not absent during this hard time.

When grieving the loss of a loved one, be it to the dissolution of a relationship or death, one of the many challenges associated with this, is trying to adjust to the new reality of having to live in their absence. Often, this usually requires creating a new routine, developing a new sense of identity, and even envisioning a new future. As a qualified counselor, my job is to help you with all these important elements that are needed to make you live a normal life again through the e-counselling service available on this website.

With the help of my professionalism in grief therapy, as well as support from close friends, you have everything you need to find the strength to start rebuilding your life.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/grief-therapy/

Grief Therapy

Grief Therapy

Grief is often associated with feelings of yearning, sadness, regret, anger and guilt, among others. Some people may feel a sense of relief, while others can experience a sense of meaninglessness. Emotions are oftentimes surprising in their mildness or strength, and they may also be confusing, like when a person misses a heartbreaking relationship.

Grief therapy aims to help people cope with mourning and grief as a result of loss of loved ones, or with other major grief-triggering life changes. As a professional counselor, I believe that everyone expresses and experiences grief in their own way, which is often shaped by culture. It is common for grieved persons to withdraw from their family and friends and feel helpless; some might laugh. Some may be angry and wish to take action.

During grief, thoughts can vary from “it’s my fault” to “there’s nothing I can do about it”, or from “it wasn’t her time” to “she had a good life.” They can be soothing or troubling, and grieved people can bounce between various thoughts as they try to make sense of their loss.

Il n’y a pas de douleur comme le chagrin qui ne parle pas. – Henry Wadsworth.

(There is no grief like the grief that does not speak. – Henry Wadsworth)

Grief Counseling Made Easy…

My e-Counseling service is designed to help those who are grieving to swing back to their normal lives in the quickest time and most professional way possible. You only need to have an internet-enabled device to access my website for this and a host of other amazing counselling services that I offer. A complete line of counseling based on solution-focused consultations is available for grieving individuals, groups and families. My grief therapy will enhance your emotional, spiritual, and physical growth, and bring you relief. Professionals, athletes, and artists looking to reach their full potential and optimize their life experience can also benefit from e-counselling.

You will learn about different grieving behaviors that run from laughter to crying, and from engaging in silent activities, such as writing, exercising, or cleaning to sharing feelings. Some people prefer keeping their feelings to themselves, and others find comfort in other people’s company, particularly with those who might be similarly hit by the loss.

No one grieving way is better than the other. Some people are stoic and seek distraction from their thoughts others are more emotional and plummet into their feelings. While many complicated and difficult emotions are most often associated with the process of grieving, experiences of joy, humor, and contentment are not absent during this hard time.

When grieving the loss of a loved one, be it to the dissolution of a relationship or death, one of the many challenges associated with this, is trying to adjust to the new reality of having to live in their absence. Often, this usually requires creating a new routine, developing a new sense of identity, and even envisioning a new future. As a qualified counselor, my job is to help you with all these important elements that are needed to make you live a normal life again through the e-counselling service available on this website.

With the help of my professionalism in grief therapy, as well as support from close friends, you have everything you need to find the strength to start rebuilding your life.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/couples-family-therapy/

Couples - Family Therapy

Couples & FamilyTherapy

Raising a happy family is always a top priority for many of us. However, many relationship issues are often unavoidable, and if not handled accordingly then we cannot enjoy the happiness which we are forever after. My family counseling service is open to receiving couples who are looking for peaceful ways of solving any of their conflicts, and my reputation lies in the fact that I have turned many failing relationships into a success. The counseling services I offer are diverse and are meant to offer working solutions to the many problems that many couples often go through. For instance, as a professional therapist I can train couples on how to communicate effectively, avoid conflicts, anger/stress management, conflict resolution, and a host of other issues that can lead to happy marriages.

Clients can enjoy the convenience of online counseling. The family counseling services offered are effective, and that can be confirmed by the amazing positive responses received from the many couples who have had their lives changed with my help. My success relies on seeing families living happy lives, and that has been possible since we offer solutions that are easy to follow, and does take into account the personality differences that may be seen in couples. I am flexible to the needs of our clients, and offer a robust online counseling platform that enables me to connect with my clients even when they are away from our clinic.

Nous voulons etre ensemble mais nous ne savons pas comment.

(Close collaboration with qualified therapists)

Counseling Made Easy…

At the family therapy clinic and e-counseling sessions ,clients get the opportunity to work in close collaboration with a qualified therapist. The approach ensures that I understand my clients’ issues in detail, and work on the best solutions that can see families thriving. The counseling sessions are done in manageable schedules, and the flexibility of times ensure that the clients always have the free will to visit us at that time when they find it convenient to do so. Having the mindset of delivering solutions that see families living happily. By reaching out to us via office therapy sessions or e-counseling platform, I promise all our clients the best results since that is what I am dedicated to.

Contact us today

Delivering the best family therapy results to all clients is always a top priority for me. That aspect is only possible if my clients enjoy a close and interactive relationship with me. The e-counseling platform can be accessed anywhere and anytime. With that approach, I can maintain regular contacts with my clients, and effectively monitor the progress of any counseling.

Any visit to the family counseling clinic is enjoyable since it is an environment that enables the clients to explore their deeper thoughts in a stress-free way. Besides, I am passionate about my job and do demonstrate extensive experience of handling parenting issues, personality issues, divorce, separation, lesbian/gay relationships, stress, disability, traumatic events, and coping with contemporary life changes.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/couples-family-therapy/

Couples - Family Therapy

Couples & FamilyTherapy

Raising a happy family is always a top priority for many of us. However, many relationship issues are often unavoidable, and if not handled accordingly then we cannot enjoy the happiness which we are forever after. My family counseling service is open to receiving couples who are looking for peaceful ways of solving any of their conflicts, and my reputation lies in the fact that I have turned many failing relationships into a success. The counseling services I offer are diverse and are meant to offer working solutions to the many problems that many couples often go through. For instance, as a professional therapist I can train couples on how to communicate effectively, avoid conflicts, anger/stress management, conflict resolution, and a host of other issues that can lead to happy marriages.

Clients can enjoy the convenience of online counseling. The family counseling services offered are effective, and that can be confirmed by the amazing positive responses received from the many couples who have had their lives changed with my help. My success relies on seeing families living happy lives, and that has been possible since we offer solutions that are easy to follow, and does take into account the personality differences that may be seen in couples. I am flexible to the needs of our clients, and offer a robust online counseling platform that enables me to connect with my clients even when they are away from our clinic.

Nous voulons etre ensemble mais nous ne savons pas comment.

(Close collaboration with qualified therapists)

Counseling Made Easy…

At the family therapy clinic and e-counseling sessions ,clients get the opportunity to work in close collaboration with a qualified therapist. The approach ensures that I understand my clients’ issues in detail, and work on the best solutions that can see families thriving. The counseling sessions are done in manageable schedules, and the flexibility of times ensure that the clients always have the free will to visit us at that time when they find it convenient to do so. Having the mindset of delivering solutions that see families living happily. By reaching out to us via office therapy sessions or e-counseling platform, I promise all our clients the best results since that is what I am dedicated to.

Contact us today

Delivering the best family therapy results to all clients is always a top priority for me. That aspect is only possible if my clients enjoy a close and interactive relationship with me. The e-counseling platform can be accessed anywhere and anytime. With that approach, I can maintain regular contacts with my clients, and effectively monitor the progress of any counseling.

Any visit to the family counseling clinic is enjoyable since it is an environment that enables the clients to explore their deeper thoughts in a stress-free way. Besides, I am passionate about my job and do demonstrate extensive experience of handling parenting issues, personality issues, divorce, separation, lesbian/gay relationships, stress, disability, traumatic events, and coping with contemporary life changes.

Get in touch now

 I know it is often difficult for people to reach out and ask for help. The one thing that helps most people through any difficult situation is to be able to talk to someone about it in a confidential and non judgmental way.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/traumatic-events/

Traumatic Events

How To And Traumatic Events

I live on a Caribbean island and I have been through Hurricane Hugo in 1989… my thoughts are going toward all the victims who were in the devastating path of Hurricane Matthew. My thoughts are also going toward my friends, my neighbors and my fellow human beings who have recently witnessed traumatic events.

Witnessing a traumatic event can affect us physically, emotionally and psychologically. I am sharing with you today what is normal to feel, how to go through these feelings and the some of the best ways to support people around you.

The impact of a traumatic event can linger for a few weeks. Below are some common feelings you may have after a traumatic event.

Continued thoughts and images of the event.

Wanting to stay away from the scene of the event associated with feeling of fear, sadness and/or anxiety.

Difficulty concentrating or feeling “dazed” or confused. Increased wandering around or just sitting and staring without direction.

Difficulty handling tasks or making decisions.

Feelings of anger and irritability.

Feelings of guilt or wishing you could have done something different.

Wanting to separate yourself from family or friends, feelings of withdrawal and sadness.

Physical feelings such as headaches or muscle aches, stomach ache or nausea, fatigue, change of appetite, nightmares and/or difficulty sleeping.

Using alcohol or drugs to numb your feelings.

It is important to recognize these feelings in you or in people around you.

Use your support system: choose a friend, your partner, family, someone who is willing and ready to listen to you. Talking is really helpful to release stress. It may feel uncomfortable at first but it may help you feel better faster.

Avoid using alcohol or drugs to change your mood.

Keep active. A little exercise such as a short walk will help physically and emotionally.

Eat well and get a good night sleep. It is important to stay healthy during times of stress.

Do something you enjoy. Spend time with your pets. Keep busy with hobbies. Get away to a spot where you feel your best. Listen to some music or write about the event and your reactions.

Lower your expectations of what you “should be doing” and nurture yourself. Eat healthy meals, sleep plenty and take a hot bath, practice relaxation exercises and deep breathing.

Keep as normal a schedule as possible and focus on what you can control instead of worrying about what is beyond your scope of control.

Talk to a counselor if and when your reactions are impacting your daily life. Talking is the number one healing force.

You can help others cope with their reactions by offering your genuine concern. Here are some examples:

Acknowledge the event. Say you are sorry about what happened and are sorry about their pain.

Remember you cannot take away pain. You can share it and help them feel less alone.

Listen and allow the person to share at his/her own pace. Understand that periods of silence can be healing.

Let your genuine concern and care show.

Ask “What do you need?” Offer solid, practical help such as cooking an occasional meal or watching the children.

Provide a place of safety. Lower your expectations of the individual for awhile.

Offer your companionship. Gently encourage physical activity. You may ask if the person wants to join you for a walk, etc…

Understand that the following are normal stress reactions: reduced concentration, withdrawal, sadness, guilt, anger or frustration.

You are not helping when:

Avoiding the person because you feel helpless, uncomfortable or don’t know what to say. Do not pretend nothing happened.

Offering false comfort. Avoid clichés like “Be brave”, “Time will heal”, or “You can on with your life”.

Asking intrusive questions or push for details. Don’t change the subject when he/she is talking about the event.

Assuming that a person’s spiritual/religious beliefs are the same as yours.

Offering advice if it has not been asked for. Avoid saying “you should…”

Being afraid of a show of emotion. Don’t discourage tears.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/traumatic-events/

Traumatic Events

How To And Traumatic Events

I live on a Caribbean island and I have been through Hurricane Hugo in 1989… my thoughts are going toward all the victims who were in the devastating path of Hurricane Matthew. My thoughts are also going toward my friends, my neighbors and my fellow human beings who have recently witnessed traumatic events.

Witnessing a traumatic event can affect us physically, emotionally and psychologically. I am sharing with you today what is normal to feel, how to go through these feelings and the some of the best ways to support people around you.

The impact of a traumatic event can linger for a few weeks. Below are some common feelings you may have after a traumatic event.

Continued thoughts and images of the event.

Wanting to stay away from the scene of the event associated with feeling of fear, sadness and/or anxiety.

Difficulty concentrating or feeling “dazed” or confused. Increased wandering around or just sitting and staring without direction.

Difficulty handling tasks or making decisions.

Feelings of anger and irritability.

Feelings of guilt or wishing you could have done something different.

Wanting to separate yourself from family or friends, feelings of withdrawal and sadness.

Physical feelings such as headaches or muscle aches, stomach ache or nausea, fatigue, change of appetite, nightmares and/or difficulty sleeping.

Using alcohol or drugs to numb your feelings.

It is important to recognize these feelings in you or in people around you.

Use your support system: choose a friend, your partner, family, someone who is willing and ready to listen to you. Talking is really helpful to release stress. It may feel uncomfortable at first but it may help you feel better faster.

Avoid using alcohol or drugs to change your mood.

Keep active. A little exercise such as a short walk will help physically and emotionally.

Eat well and get a good night sleep. It is important to stay healthy during times of stress.

Do something you enjoy. Spend time with your pets. Keep busy with hobbies. Get away to a spot where you feel your best. Listen to some music or write about the event and your reactions.

Lower your expectations of what you “should be doing” and nurture yourself. Eat healthy meals, sleep plenty and take a hot bath, practice relaxation exercises and deep breathing.

Keep as normal a schedule as possible and focus on what you can control instead of worrying about what is beyond your scope of control.

Talk to a counselor if and when your reactions are impacting your daily life. Talking is the number one healing force.

You can help others cope with their reactions by offering your genuine concern. Here are some examples:

Acknowledge the event. Say you are sorry about what happened and are sorry about their pain.

Remember you cannot take away pain. You can share it and help them feel less alone.

Listen and allow the person to share at his/her own pace. Understand that periods of silence can be healing.

Let your genuine concern and care show.

Ask “What do you need?” Offer solid, practical help such as cooking an occasional meal or watching the children.

Provide a place of safety. Lower your expectations of the individual for awhile.

Offer your companionship. Gently encourage physical activity. You may ask if the person wants to join you for a walk, etc…

Understand that the following are normal stress reactions: reduced concentration, withdrawal, sadness, guilt, anger or frustration.

You are not helping when:

Avoiding the person because you feel helpless, uncomfortable or don’t know what to say. Do not pretend nothing happened.

Offering false comfort. Avoid clichés like “Be brave”, “Time will heal”, or “You can on with your life”.

Asking intrusive questions or push for details. Don’t change the subject when he/she is talking about the event.

Assuming that a person’s spiritual/religious beliefs are the same as yours.

Offering advice if it has not been asked for. Avoid saying “you should…”

Being afraid of a show of emotion. Don’t discourage tears.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/gendertyping/

Gendertyping

The Mask We Live In – A Psychologist’s Perspective

Before getting into the “meat” (excuse the bad pun) of my topic today, I would like to thank all of you for reading my posts and spreading awareness about the issues being discussed. Feel free to give your feedback or participate whenever you feel like!

Today, my mode of communication is going to be a bit more direct than usual. I must say that my source is itself quite eloquent! It is a documentary titled “The mask we live in” that you can find on Netflix.

As I was commenting to a friend of mine about my feelings about female stigmatization increase and male dominance in our society, I came across this powerful testimony to the intricate yet devastating issue of male socialization in the United States today.

My point is not to paraphrase the documentary. I would not do it justice. My point is to give you a brief summary of the progression of male gendertyping punctuated by alarming numbers. This alarm bell is for all of us: mother, father, family, brother, educators, coaches, writers, film directors, video designers, publicists, and you and ME.

Gendertyping is the conscious or unconscious coding of a person. It starts at birth and continues throughout ones’ life. Parents, educators, media and society contribute on a daily basis to this phenomenon. For boys, it starts with babies wearing blue, continues with truck or gun toys along with the “man up” do and don’t and the code of honor indoctrination.

1 in 4 boy reports bullying at school and only 30% of bullied boys notify adults.

Boys and girls have similar needs and emotions. However, boys are trained, harshly at times, to hide their emotions such as anger, sadness and loneliness behind a mask of domination, power and toughness. With fathers emotionally wounded themselves, absent or neglectful, the youth lacks a necessary male role model which, in turns increases the process of disenfranchisement of many of our teenagers.

Suicide is 5 times more prevalent in boys than in girls and it is the third leading cause of death in boys in the United States.

As boys reach puberty, education is not “cool” any longer. They give up school, resort to drugs, alcohol, gangs, sexuality and violence. They also take refuge in sports and try to prove themselves only to meet similar types of behavior. Overall, they are engaged in the “hypermasculinization” process that is so impacting their relationship with girls and later women.

Boys are 4 times more likely than girls to be expelled, 3 times more likely to be suspended, 2 times more likely to drop out of school.

Teenagers on average watch weekly: 40 hours of TV, 15 of video games and 2 hours of pornography.

99% of boys do videogames, 90% of games rated appropriate for children over 10 years old contain violence

50% of parents do not monitor ratings. 

By age 18, young men have already seen 40.000 murders on screen.

I am not a number person and I avoid statistics but let’s face it…these few numbers raised questions!

Do you know what your children are watching?

Are you aware that habituation/addiction start with repetitive behaviors and media education?

1 out of 3 women and 1 one out of 6 men has been assaulted or raped.

 Do we remember how it feels and how it has impacted our life, our society?

Did you not, at times, wonder whether our societal mixed messages were helping our young men and women?

Women, is it cool to feel like an object, the “it” thing such as in “I would like a piece of it”?

“We are living in a rape culture where violence against women is in epidemic proportion” and where 90% of homicides are perpetrated by male, half of them being under 25 years old.

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/the-magic-of-touch/

The Magic Of Touch

I would like to share with you my latest experience…and you are probably going to laugh thinking that once again I prove to be a dinosaur.

Dating on line is not a rage any longer. It is a “normal” practice among millions of users. I wanted to experience the buzz so I could relate to those of my patients belonging to the category of “millions of users”.

I did experience the thrill of generating interest, the fun of unrestrained written exchanges and the adrenalin of exchanging contact numbers followed by, sometimes, phone conversations but rarely, so rarely, the ultimate goal of actually meeting the person, I mean the real person in flesh.

Rapidly, then, I would push to actually meet the person. I became that needy, what-do-you-want-go-to-the-point lioness who, when face-to-face with the person did not know how to convey friendliness without compromising myself ah ah. By the way, the feeling was largely reciprocal. What an experience indeed!

I started then to reflect on the advantages of “cyber” friendship versus actual human contacts and I came to the conclusion that words do not replace touch. Touching is magical. Touching convey far better, faster, stronger feelings than words. Actually, according to research, the impact of touch is 10 times superior to that of words. Positive touch reduces stress and, therefore, reinforces well-being. It creates bounds between people, trust, cooperation, empathy and gratitude. Touch is an essential tool to social communication.

Interestingly, there are scientific reasons to prove, if needed be, that the human brain is designed to understand touch on multiple levels. Our body is a gigantic receptive machine with 18,000 square centimeters of skin equipped with specialized sensory receptors to transfer information to our brain through our neural pathway. Some sensory receptors send information about pressure on the skin, temperature, movement, position, strength, etc. Others specialize in emotional input such as caress and send erotic messages to our brain when making love.

We have two brain areas in charge of sorting out these signals: the somatosensory cortex and the insula cortex. The first one deals with the fast messages sent by the sensory receptors of our hands, fingers, face and tongue. The second one, on the contrary, receives the slower emotional signals which allow for the insula to determinate with accuracy the speed of a physical contact. These signals come from our behind, thighs, back, shoulders, forearms, and scalp (that’s why we so appreciate scalp massages). By measuring the speed of a physical contact, the brain “knows” the meaning and the social and emotional intention of a physical contact. Pretty cool isn’t? So in essence, our brain is collecting information through our skin and tells us what to think about the kind of touch we receive. No room for playing games, my friends, not like with words!

New Post has been published on http://stcroixsupport.com/adolescence-adulthood/

Adolescence - Adulthood

From Adolescence to Adulthood

To some, the passage from adolescence to adulthood is challenging always but also exhilarating. From high school, to college, to internship, to first entry into their professional life, young adults pursue their dreams and launch their life without much major trauma, as a well-oiled machine.

For others, this transition develop unique physiological, psychological and sociopolitical consequences. In my practice on St Croix in the Virgin Islands, I have often been confronted with young adults returning from the mainland, the United States, in the middle of their college years or immediately after their first entrance in the world of work with multiple issues warranting attention if not therapeutic help.

For African-Americans, the bulk of my practice, the problem is acute. This transition is often challenged by systematic and institutional racial discrimination through residential segregation, aggressive policing and interpersonal racial hassles. These “microaggressions” have immediate and long lasting effects influencing their entire life.

These consequences range from physiological/biological, psychological and sociopolitical effects. Research shows that young adults harassed by cumulative and chronic discrimination suffer from elevated blood pressure, increased heart rate and high stress leading to instances of fight-or-fight responses. Stress level is high and risks for cardiovascular diseases and cellular aging increase. Sleep depravation from heightened vigilance may also be correlated to physiological issues.

The psychological effects may include depression and/or mood swings, suicide and/or suicidal ideation, violence, stress disorders and maladaptive coping strategies such as promiscuity and alcohol/substance abuse. These consequences develop alongside increased social isolation, loss of self worth and poor racial identity. For instance, African-American teenagers with dark skin consider themselves “ugly” when compared to lighter skin individuals. This discrimination is reinforced by current Internet reports and articles. As a result, civic engagement may suffer and further the isolation and desintegration of social tissue.

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/anger-stress-crisis-management/

Anger/Stress/Crisis Management

New Post has been published on https://stcroixsupport.com/e-counseling/anger-stress-crisis-management/

Anger/Stress/Crisis Management