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worm-banhmi

$tone Cold Killa

magicinhermadness

New fave

goldenxthunderchild

SAVAGE

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thecommonchick

LMFAO 😂😭

aenrhena

LOOK AT THIS CRAIGSLIST LISTING

the sorting hat: you can go in Slytherin or Ravenclaw, which do you want?

me: which will make people trust me unquestioningly?

the sorting hat: the answer is Ravenclaw but because you asked that way you're going in Slytherin

me: that's fair.

friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman

my mom phoned me today and told me that someone in my hometown had robbed the pharmacy at gunpoint but the pharmacist started having an anxiety attack and the robbers were so worried about her they offered to call her an ambulance while they were robbing her

babiigurl2413

Was this in Canada?

friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman

of course it was

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howtocan

Baby bird season is incoming and I’d like to remind everyone that birds do not have a significant sense of smell. Bird parents will not reject birdlets because you have handled them.

If you see smol birbs with few or no feathers on the ground, you can safely put them back into their nest, bird parents will still care for them.

If you see smol birbs with some or most feathers on the ground, please leave them there, as bird parents are probably nearby watching and feeding.

jumpingjacktrash

nakey bird = accidentally fell out, is cold and scared, put back in nest! if you can’t reach the nest, try to put it on a wide branch or fork so predators can’t get at it as easily.

scruffy feather bird = starting to try the fly thing, not very good at it. only put in nest/branch if predators abound, i.e. you have four outdoor cats and they’re licking their chops.

fluffy feather bird = smol fly guy! do nothing. can probably get away from predators and will flip its shit if you pick it up.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Reblogging this because I’d always heard the ‘Don’t touch a distressed bird its mom will reject it’ thing treated as fact before now, I didn’t realise it wasn’t true…

witchomo-blog

she pulled out receipts in that last tweet damn

plankhandles

Cooking show I desperately want: Professional chefs compete to wow and astound totally amateur food critics who don’t know dick about shit. Get eliminated on totally arbitrary grounds such as “I don’t like sour cream.”

rhiannonmcgavin

every dermatologist and mother on the Planet: don’t pick at your acne, it’s just going to make it worse, you’ll get a scar, stop picking at your face

me, 3 fingers deep into a pore: that’s so true

sunnybuttercup

Thanks American Girl!

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yayfeminism

“Nobody has more respect for women than I do” - Donald Trump

imstilljudgingyou

when a serial killer has more respect for women than you do

ediyank

how are people this dumb?

achievebisexuality

One more girl who has Ryan wrapped around her finger

arsillanola

Japanese t-shirts with English text are my favourite thing in the world

Bonus:

arsillanola

I DID NOT SPEND MY WHOLE LUNCH HOUR SCOURING THE MALL FOR ONE NOTE.

thefishcrow-deactivated20151215

Why does this not have more notes? These are wonderful!

emilyisobsessed

my dog took a bullet for me

suqmydiqtbh

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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juliencortes

how i survived high school.

left-reminders

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