the bills : 🎀🛍️👛

okay men to avoid:

- Men who bring up sex talk too soon. There's no reason whatsoever that a guy should be talking sexually and asking you suggestive questions within the getting-to-know-you stages. Not only is it disrespectful, but it shows that he's probably a sex-crazed lunatic and it's best to steer clear. I've had friends talk to men who talked too sexual too soon and they decided to ignore this blatant red flag just for these men to be absolutely nuts. So please, avoid them.

- Men who bad-mouth their exes. I've talked to men who played the victim in terms of why their previous relationship ended and I always avoid these types of men like the plague. It takes an emotionally mature adult to know that it takes two to end a relationship and it's a bit strange when a man is pointing fingers and is putting the sole blame on their exes regarding why their previous relationship ended. Also, men bad-mouthing a woman period always makes me super weary.

- Men who do not have positive male figures in their lives. I don't expect every guy that I talk to to have an amazing relationship with their father, but I need them to have some sort of positive male figure in their life. Why? Because men who don't tend to suck. I really don't have the time to teach a grown man how to treat a woman because of their past trauma and neither should you.

- Cheap men. A lot of women need to understand that just because a man has money on paper does not mean he's going to spend his alleged money on you. You know the traits of a cheap man. He's complaining about "gold diggers," he's always nagging about how expensive everything is, and when the waiter asks if you all would like dessert he immediately asks for the bill without any consideration for what you might want. Dating a man who's penny-pinching is such a boring experience and is not fun at all. If a man doesn't start out spending the big bucks, he's most definitely not interested in doing so later down the line.

Self-abandonment means not taking care of yourself, your needs, and your feelings. It's like ignoring what's good for you and not being kind to yourself normally in a way that benefits everyone but you.

Not eating well or exercising.

Pretending to be happy when you're not.

Working too much without breaks.

Staying in a bad relationship.

Letting people use you.

Forgetting about things you enjoy.

Not saying what you want.

Always doing things for others.

Not asking for help when you're sad or stressed.

Being alone when you need friends.

Saying mean things to yourself in your head.

Giving up your dreams for others.

Avoiding problems instead of solving them.

Never taking time to relax.

Ignoring how you look or feel.

Not asking for help when things are too hard.

Trying to be perfect all the time.

Doing things that hurt you, like drugs or danger.

Changing who you are to fit in.

Not being yourself and doing what others want.

Ignoring your body when it needs rest or sleep.

Letting others make decisions for you all the time.

Keeping your feelings bottled up inside.

Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.

Not pursuing your interests or hobbies.

Saying "yes" to everything, even when you're overwhelmed.

Putting up with disrespect or mistreatment from others.

Not giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.

Skipping important appointments or check-ups.

Holding onto grudges and negative emotions.

Comparing yourself unfavorably to others.

Not taking breaks when you're stressed.

Neglecting your financial well-being and overspending.

Ignoring signs of burnout or exhaustion.

Avoiding seeking help for mental health struggles.

Ignoring your own intuition and gut feelings.

Overcommitting and spreading yourself too thin.

Constantly seeking validation from others.

Letting fear hold you back from trying new things.