Stuff My AP Teacher Says

"If you're real cool, the sun is always shining."

"Brief is good. You don't want to crush somebody with all the details. You want to get to the key points, and be crisp. It's really nice if they're elegant. Now, that means clever. It's the mathematician's notion of beauty. Like you go to the art museum, and the artists will say, wow, that's a beautiful painting. In mathematics, you say, wow, that's an elegant proof. It's crisp, clever, short, to the point. And it's really the highest compliment you can get from a mathematician, anyway. And there's a lot of judgment that goes into that. Just like in art-- there's judgment over what is great art."

-Dr Simmers, standing under a board with the words “Penis Size” on it, followed by a chart of different races along the dotted line from large to micro. Context? Racial Steyotyping in Intro to Sociology

-my Biology Lab ta upon learning the milipede secreted HCN all over my hand

10. It covers only kinematics and dynamics, which excludes a near infinitude of other types of more difficult quantum mechanics problems. 9. Your TAs have many office hours, the SI is free, and the acedemic resource center is waiting for you to stop by. 8. Anemonefish (like Nemo) don’t worry about midterms, they are more concerned about being eaten by predators. 7. You don’t need to memorize anything, especially the value of constants, which will be provided if needed. 6. You will do fine on the exam, and if not, you can still end up with a good grade if you work hard. 5. Your midterm will be easier than lifting heavy crates all day, especially those filled with freshly caught fish. 4. The problems on the practice exam are practice, so no need to get every one of them correct. 3. If a truck is travelling north-northwest at 80kmph, and a car is travelling south at 45 kmph, you’ll still do well on the exam. 2. When you are in a moment of desparation, recite the ancient mantra: SOH CAH TOA. 1. Your exam is not an alien monster trying to steal your genetic information. Oh wait…

“The book uses the word ‘touches.’ I do not want my math to touch me.”

“I’m a mathematician, not an englishtitician.”

“It’s more than gas prices going hella up. Everything does. Refrigerated food would not be possible. Electricity would not be a thing. Cars would not drive. The zombie apocalypse happens. We’d turn to cannibalism in a month. :) ”

"Decapitation solves colds. It does however have negative side effects."

"It's not about gender. I'm just anti-royalist."