Dating in your 40s

I just came to the realization that I only started dating in the 21st century (I'm in my late 30s but didn't start interacting with guys like that until my late teens). Obviously things are different now than they were 20 years ago, but the online dating revolution began way back then.

I used dating sites on a computer in my younger days (before phones had that capability), and of course it was a bit different than it is today. However, I think that's where the whole concept of having a "menu", if you will, of potential dates to choose from began.

As long as it's agreed upon, people nowadays can choose each other for dates like we choose our groceries... And having this virtual catalog of potential matches to choose from is so vastly different from how previous generations operated.

My parents met at a party in the 70s. My dad's parents met at the hospital they both worked at in the 40s. My mom's parents were from the same small town in Vermont and met when my grandmother was 18, also in the 40s.

The way people meet is often different than it was way back when, and my theory is that because of this, it affects the way that people even approach dating in the first place. If the only options for dating are a handful of people in a small town, or one's co-workers, perhaps that's part of why dating seemed more "human" back then.

Now that "swiping" between potential dates is not only a part of the vernacular but also part of the culture, no wonder that dating can be so dehumanizing! Ghosting, the slow fade, etc are all things that are a part of 21st century dating in a way that they were NOT a part of 20th century dating.

I'm still scratching my head about this one... And he has not elaborated.

After a long hiatus due to being involved with someone, I'm back on Bumble and Facebook Dating. So, I'll be updating this more often!

That's a real opening line I received on Facebook dating. I was literally laughing out loud when I read that!

When Okcupid asked why I was disabling the app...

I'll probably restart it in a few days though haha. But I recently purged all but 1 dating app (Plenty of Fish). Again, I'll probably sign up for them again in a week or so.

I'm just so tired of all the guys that are only interested in me for my body, rather than me as a person. But this is online dating these days - it's all about the hook up. No matter how many times I delete and recreate profiles on the various dating apps, I don't see that changing anytime soon.

This is what online dating is like for women. All. The. Time. I'm on about half a dozen different dating apps right now, and most of the guys that I interact with are like this. Or send unsolicited dick pics. Or ask to see pics of my boobs, etc.

They may not come right out and be this skeevy though. It may come in the form of asking them what they are looking for, and getting answers like "someone to hang out with", or "fun and hanging out", etc. All of which are nice ways of saying a female to spend time with and have sex with, but without any sort of commitment, so as to leave open the option for the same arrangement with other females.

It's disappointing that as I approach 36, and the fact that most of the men that I chat with on these apps are within a few years of my age, that it's STILL like this. It was one thing in my 20s, or even in my early 30s. But dealing with this type of behavior for basically half of my life has just become exhausting and increasingly disheartening.