Every child grows differently. I grew with lots of unspoken bubbles in my head. But every now and then the judgement of just and unjust comes very naturally since young. However expressing myself in words is not what I do best. And maybe so through the years, it had me gone muted in colours. Everything I’m exposed to is always muted, not too bright not too dark. I don’t know my likes and dislikes. I don't know if I am happy or am I not. Everything is just okay. Only recently I realised that I don’t really know about myself in words. I feel deeply but I don’t know why because I only feel and I never seek to question and answer why the emotions. I am starting to, the more I’m aware that I want to put emotions into words with explanation, the more I found, the more pain it inflict. I am in pain but beautiful because it is a new step found in life that I need to take.