Ambition

15.04.2020

Day 46

My routine doesn’t seem to change: online lectures, checking emails, preparing meals, skype with friends.

But my mind is a continuous flow of change.

I am afraid of doing little things, sometimes, like going out for basic needs.

I am paranoid about what I say: “Will the professor understand this email? Am I too rude? Do I sound stupid?” and it never happened in past.

I am afraid of the future because I am so obsessed with plans and now I can’t do any.

My insomnia is getting worse and worse.

This week goals:

- I am stronger than my limits: my mind can get over this little fears.

Day 45

All this thing is not always about being productive and perfect:

this quarantine is killing my inner spirit.

I know, it’s not an unbearable thing, I’m not complaining, just explaining.

For example, today I’ve been productive, so so proud of my day! And then? Now it’s 2 AM and I am overwhelmed by my old and not-good-at-all friend insomnia. I already know tomorrow will be a though day with online lessons, exams to prepare and a stressing tour at grocery’s.

I’m a fortunate person but this situation sometimes is really hard to handle.

28.03.2020

Day 44

Today:

- morning workout;

- notes revision;

- astrophysics;

Positive vibes of the day:

- I saw (maybe for the 10th time) The theory of everything;

- I studied with a friend on skype;

Day 43

Today:

- online lessons;

- extra galactic astrophysics;

- some classical mechanics;

Positive vibes of the day:

- my pomegranade candle;

- chill music;

- preparing good & healthy meals (and some pancakes, ssssh);

26.03.2020

Day 42

A great day because 42 is the answer!

Another day is over,

I’m sitting in my kitchen, drinking hot chamomille tea in silence.

Studying isn’t really easy in quarantine but I am trying really hard!

25.03.2020

Day 41

Another day of quarantine is gone:

As always I’ve followed online lectures, then studied astrophysics and revised some particle physics’ notes.

Day 40

I’m really proud of this study-day:

I’ve studied Astrophysics, finished a book and revised my notes.

Day 39

Today I’ve followed my online lectures, so my day was full of nuclear physics, but...

I feel like I’m not really able to study: I feel demotivated and sad because of this quarantine, so I can’t focus.