not enough people talk about traumatic friendships. how you had a best friend that made you feel like shit any time you got into a relationship. how your best friend now makes jokes but you can’t let them go because of what you felt before. you just want to be a good friend and be happy, but you feel selfish and that’s not right.
i shouldn’t feel selfish for wanting to be happy and start my life. i’m nearly 26 and ready to move into a house with the person i love. what’s insane is it’s not happening for another literal year. i’m not going anywhere in the mean time and she’s not moving in now.
and i don’t want to feel like i need to work overtime for this friendship now that i’ve spoken on my intentions to move out next year when the lease ends. that’s not fair to me, but it’s also entirely possible that my best friend is just messing with me. the problem is, i can’t see that.
because i had a best friend who would pull me down for years. if i got into a relationship, i was “putting them on the back burner” though i’d hung out with them the entire week. they wanted all of my attention all of the time though they’d drop me once they met someone they wanted to date.
basically, what i’m saying is i hope that people who have experience traumatic friendships know that they’re valid. i see you and i hear you. it’s painful and i just wish more people would open up about this topic.


















