Stuck in Deconstruction

The ACLU was able to halt the Muslim Ban for the time being. The stay is only temporary but it means that Trump’s executive order can’t be implemented and that all current detainees at airports need to be released.

I am trying to forgive myself for my rock bottoms. I am reminding myself that most of us who have struggled with self-harm or eating disorders start struggling with that stuff at a young age and/or a very difficult time in our lives. I was twelve. So I am giving my past self kindness and compassion. I am telling her, you were a drowning kid just trying to keep your head above water anyway you knew how. I forgive you for what you felt you needed to do to survive.

I’m over protective, I’m obsessed, I get insecure, I overthink, I keep myself up at night. I get lost in my own thoughts, I have constant breakdowns, I get mad easily. I am full of jealousy. I am scared that all this may get too much for you one day. Please tell me you can handle this, please don’t leave, please don’t walk away.

Sometimes, I’m the mess. Sometimes, I’m the broom. On the hardest days, I have to be both.

“Power does not come any more from the barrel of a gun than it comes from a ballot box. No revolution is peaceful, but its “military” dimension is never central. The question is not whether the proles finally decide to break into the armouries, but whether they unleash what they are; commodified beings who no longer want to exist as commodities, and whose revolt explodes capitalist logic. Barricades and machine guns flow from this “weapon”. The greater the change in social life, the less guns will be needed, and the less casualties there will be. A communist revolution will never resemble a slaughter: not from any nonviolent principle, but because revolution subverts more (soldiers included) than it actually destroys.”

When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, that’s when you know you’ve healed.

For many people in our world, the opposite of faith is doubt. The goal, then, within this understanding, is to eliminate doubt. But faith and doubt aren’t opposites. Doubt is often a sign that your faith has a pulse, that it’s alive and well and exploring and searching. Faith and doubt aren’t opposites, they are, it turns out, excellent dance partners.

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.