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@strwbs
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā STRWBS Ā Ā Ā : Ā Ā Ā a Ā casual Ā , Ā Ā tumblr Ā based Ā , Ā Ā multi Ā - Ā š¦š·š¦š³šŗšµš©šŖšÆšØ Ā indie Ā penned Ā by Ā Ā šš¼šĀ Ā Ā Ā / Ā Ā Ā Ā twenty4 Ā , Ā Ā she/her Ā , Ā Ā gmt +1 Ā Ā Ā / Ā Ā Ā Ā usingĀ Ā betaĀ Ā editorĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā š¤
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¤æĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā šššššĀ Ā Ā .Ā Ā Ā ššššĀ Ā ššššššššĀ Ā Ā .
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THE WEIGHT OF WORDS femme can never say rest heavy on her tongue , a deep breath taken . needles prick her throat as she shuffles closer .ć donāt you DARE act like iām the only one who made SOME changes since we got back together when youāre the reason iām like this in the first place . youāre nonchalant at best and completely detached on most days . it's like i have to FORCE YOU to care about me roxie . ćdesperately prays that the pleading , ache lodged in her tone is covered by the fury in her words . too wrapped up in her own feelings to process the others confession .ć youāre always out doing good - knows - what with god knows who and iām just supposed to smile and pretend like everythings fine when i see the way other people look at you ā¦ and the way you look back sometimes. ć
š¦š§š¢š¢š šš” š¦šššš”šš as finger pointed at her, drowning in other's words as if hearing muffled cries from under water. didn't know how to react. didn't know what to think, how to feel. ā did you hear me ? ā voice soft, almost didn't want her to hear. ā i said ā did you fucking hear me, neveah ? ā voice grew louder as did realization. she loved her. ā of course you fucking didn't ! ā too busy listening to the sound of your own voice to give a fuck about anyone else. ā she fucking hated her. ā you know what ? you knew who i was when you met me. i'm a bitch, i'm a party girl, i love the attention, i'm ' DETACHED ', i'm ' NONCHALANT ', i don't give a fuck ! so leave me then. you know i'll find someone else just like that when i'm out doing god - knows - what - with - god - knows - who and this time YOU will be the one begging to get back with me and guess what ? you'll be waiting a lot longer than two hours for me to text back while i'm out fucking one of those other people i'm supposedly already looking at. ā
ā ' openĀ Ā toĀ Ā fems .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā ofĀ Ā allĀ Ā theĀ Ā peopleĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā fuckingĀ Ā worldĀ Ā ,Ā Ā itĀ Ā hadĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā himĀ Ā ?Ā Ā youĀ Ā hadĀ Ā toĀ Ā fuckĀ Ā myĀ Ā brotherĀ Ā ?Ā Ā ā
ā š šŖšš¦ šš„šØš”š. he came to the club, it was dark, i didn't even realize at first ... oh, god, it was a mistake ! please forgive me ? ā
" thank you! " femme too happy to really pick up on his somber expression. " i think i'm gonna be a good ass wife, don't you think? just gotta work on the cooking part. " she joked, looking up at him.
šššš”'š§ šØš”ššš„š¦š§šš”š how she could remain so oblivious after all this time. didn't she feel the connection ? the late nights running lines, sharing pizza, drunken bickers over their favorite movies after one too many glasses of wine. knew she was spoken for, but always believed they'd end up together someday, somehow ā was he just a fool in love ? those ridiculous rom coms she had him watching ( that he secretly liked ) had turned him into a big softie, but he'd be damned if he was to stand around and make a fool himself any longer. ā i have to go. ā ... so leave then. feet wouldn't let him. he goes in for a hug ; tense at first, but frame loosens at sweet scent of her skin. wishes he could stay in her arms forever, but he lingers for a second too long, attracting unwanted attention from the rest of the engagement party. ā you're going to make an amazing wife, amani. ā he speaks into her ear before pulling away. he meant it. ā and if he really loves you, he'll stomach your cooking ā remember that pasta you made me ? ā dry chuckle the most he can offer as he turns to leave.
š£šš¢š§ : in source š¤ š¢š£šš” : f/nb / 21+ š¤ š šØš¦š : solomon ' sol ' mensah / pinterest š¤
ā šš¢š”šš„šš§šØššš§šš¢š”š¦. ā felt as though his soul had been crushed into a million pieces. ā i'm sure they'll make you real happy. ā
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ć IāM SORRY i didnāt realise caring about our relationship meant i was pathetic and lifeless when YOU were the one that wanted to get back together . ćarms flail in the air , manicured accusatory finger pointed at the other , frustration looming on delicate features . ć how should i know why you ditched your fucking gig ? you won't TALK to me anymore . remember ? ć
ā ššš š§šš¢š¦š š§šŖš¢ šš¢šØš„š¦ š¢š šš¢š”šššš”šš¦š¦ send you to a different fucking dimension !? ā no, I'M sorry i didn't realize that two seconds actually meant two hours and that two hours meant FOREVER ! ā and somehow i sent you a telepathic message that i want to get back together because i won't talk to you, right ? makes sense. ā scoffs in disbelief, pointed acrylics running through otherwise tamed locks as she paces the floor in distress. ā i wanted to get back together with you, the neveah that tells me when my nails look shit, the neveah that runs me bubble baths when i'm sad, the neveah that i FELL IN LOVE with ā ā stops in her tracks, face screwed up with regret. not the best time for confessions. eyes hesitant to meet hers, voice lowering but definitely not softening. ā not this crazy bitch that picks a fight every time she feels insecure. ā
*Ė ā¹ ā Ā Ā ā openĀ ā ā Ā ā² Ā ā f & nb
*Ė ā¹ ā Ā Ā ā plotĀ ā ā Ā ā² Ā Ā your muse is neveah's on again - off again partner and they're having another fight .
ć frankly i don't even know why you're here . it's obvious you don't give a shit about me - i mean who just LEAVES someone on delivered for two hours ? ć
ā š¦š¢š šš¢š”š šŖšš§š š šššš, neveah ā unlike you, clearly, who's been sitting around waiting for my reply as if you have nothing BETTER to do than nag me ! ā ... ā besides, if i didn't care about you then why would i have ditched the gig to be here having this same fucking argument with you, hm ? ā
š£šš¢š§ : in source š¤ š¢š£šš” : anyone / 21+ š¤ š šØš¦š : anastasia ' stasi ' burton / pinterest š¤
ā šŖšš§šš š¢šØš§, losers ! ā she launches the volleyball back in the direction it came from, hitting the head of the culprit harder than the ball had hit her table. thought she'd be safe perched on decking, the only acceptable beach bar to be seen in this god awful town ā at least they served cosmos, liquid of which had now stained white skirt pink and oh, god is that ... SAND in her hair !? ā ugh ! ā what are you looking at ? ā
*Ā Ā /Ā Ā Ā avenucsāĀ Ā :Ā Ā danielĀ Ā &Ā Ā islaĀ Ā .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā aĀ smallĀ sighĀ ofĀ reliefĀ escapesĀ hisĀ lipsĀ asĀ herĀ tenderĀ fingertipĀ pressesĀ againstĀ hisĀ lipsĀ .Ā hisĀ gazeĀ nowĀ focusesĀ onĀ herĀ inĀ aĀ moreĀ steadyĀ mannerĀ ,Ā figuringĀ outĀ thatĀ heĀ shouldāveĀ letĀ herĀ speakĀ firstĀ withoutĀ interruptingĀ herĀ .Ā islaĀ wasĀ theĀ oneĀ toĀ startĀ thisĀ madnessĀ ofĀ aĀ topicĀ anywaysĀ .Ā workingĀ withĀ herĀ feltĀ likeĀ aĀ greatĀ agonyĀ asĀ ofĀ lateĀ ,Ā heĀ wasnātĀ worthyĀ ofĀ herĀ .Ā sheĀ wasĀ tooĀ pureĀ toĀ beĀ ruinedĀ byĀ theĀ greatĀ olāĀ danielĀ chapmanĀ .Ā herĀ lustĀ thatĀ correspondedĀ toĀ hisĀ onlyĀ madeĀ allĀ ofĀ thisĀ moreĀ difficultĀ .Ā sheĀ knewĀ aboutĀ himĀ ,Ā sheĀ knewĀ wayĀ tooĀ muchĀ aboutĀ himĀ fromĀ theĀ insideĀ .Ā soĀ manyĀ wordsĀ betweenĀ themĀ wereĀ leftĀ unspokenĀ dueĀ toĀ dannyāsĀ unwillingnessĀ toĀ dealĀ withĀ hisĀ trueĀ selfĀ .Ā sheĀ deservedĀ betterĀ ,Ā wayĀ betterĀ thanĀ thatĀ .Ā heĀ onlyĀ managesĀ toĀ sendĀ herĀ aĀ small smileĀ asĀ sheĀ dismissesĀ hisĀ doubtsĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā itĀ wasĀ clearĀ thatĀ iĀ wantedĀ toĀ asĀ wellĀ ,Ā howĀ couldĀ iĀ notĀ wantĀ toĀ anywaysĀ ..Ā Ā āĀ heĀ inhalesĀ herĀ scentĀ ,Ā studyingĀ herĀ fromĀ aboveĀ asĀ heĀ letsĀ theĀ comfortingĀ sensationĀ ofĀ herĀ thumbĀ drawingĀ patternsĀ onĀ hisĀ overwhelmĀ himĀ thereĀ .Ā soĀ gentleĀ ,Ā caringĀ Ā ;Ā Ā heĀ doesnātĀ deserveĀ thisĀ .Ā hisĀ wordsĀ manageĀ toĀ shatterĀ hisĀ heartĀ inĀ piecesĀ somehowĀ ,Ā exclusivelyĀ becauseĀ sheĀ wasĀ correctĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā iādĀ neverĀ Ā wantĀ toĀ ..Ā complicateĀ yourĀ lifeĀ .Ā youĀ workedĀ toĀ hardĀ forĀ allĀ thisĀ ,Ā onlyĀ forĀ meĀ toĀ beĀ ableĀ toĀ ruinĀ itĀ .Ā youĀ knowĀ whatĀ theyĀ sayĀ aboutĀ meĀ .Ā Ā āĀ aĀ lotĀ ofĀ theĀ timesĀ ,Ā theĀ truthĀ .Ā heĀ gentlyĀ letsĀ goĀ ofĀ herĀ tinyĀ handsĀ toĀ placeĀ hisĀ ownĀ onĀ eachĀ ofĀ herĀ cheeksĀ ,Ā allowingĀ herĀ toĀ nuzzleĀ betweenĀ .Ā heĀ doesĀ thisĀ primarilyĀ soĀ sheādĀ finallyĀ lookĀ atĀ himĀ properlyĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā iāmĀ notĀ theĀ guyĀ forĀ youĀ .Ā asĀ muchĀ asĀ iādĀ dieĀ toĀ beĀ thatĀ toĀ youĀ ,Ā iĀ knowĀ theĀ sorrowĀ ofĀ realityĀ .Ā Ā āĀ .
Ā Ā Ā Ā touchĀ Ā feltĀ Ā differentĀ Ā .Ā Ā softĀ Ā ,Ā Ā intimateĀ Ā .Ā Ā couldnātĀ Ā denyĀ Ā attractionĀ Ā atĀ Ā firstĀ Ā sightĀ Ā ,Ā Ā butĀ Ā thisĀ Ā feltĀ Ā likeĀ Ā moreĀ Ā thanĀ Ā harmlessĀ Ā flirtationĀ Ā ;Ā Ā likeĀ Ā sheĀ Ā wasnātĀ Ā justĀ Ā anotherĀ Ā starletĀ Ā heĀ Ā wantedĀ Ā underĀ Ā hisĀ Ā beltĀ Ā .Ā Ā wasĀ Ā sheĀ Ā foolishĀ Ā toĀ Ā thinkĀ Ā suchĀ Ā aĀ Ā thingĀ Ā Ā ?Ā Ā knewĀ Ā exactlyĀ Ā whatĀ Ā theyĀ Ā saidĀ Ā aboutĀ Ā himĀ Ā andĀ Ā wasĀ Ā stillĀ Ā decidingĀ Ā ifĀ Ā sheĀ Ā caredĀ Ā .Ā Ā hadĀ Ā doneĀ Ā whatĀ Ā theyĀ Ā wantedĀ Ā herĀ Ā entireĀ Ā lifeĀ Ā ,Ā Ā neverĀ Ā succumbingĀ Ā toĀ Ā whatĀ Ā sheĀ Ā wantedĀ Ā andĀ Ā rightĀ Ā nowĀ Ā thatĀ Ā wasĀ Ā himĀ Ā .Ā Ā āĀ Ā maybeĀ Ā myĀ Ā lifeĀ Ā needsĀ Ā aĀ Ā littleĀ Ā complicatingĀ Ā ...Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā wordsĀ Ā proveĀ Ā justĀ Ā asĀ Ā conflictingĀ Ā asĀ Ā actionsĀ Ā ;Ā Ā justĀ Ā canātĀ Ā makeĀ Ā upĀ Ā herĀ Ā mindĀ Ā ,Ā Ā evidentĀ Ā inĀ Ā howĀ Ā handĀ Ā followsĀ Ā hisĀ Ā ,Ā Ā fingertipsĀ Ā brushingĀ Ā againstĀ Ā hisĀ Ā knucklesĀ Ā asĀ Ā cheeksĀ Ā leanĀ Ā inĀ Ā ,Ā Ā onlyĀ Ā shakyĀ Ā breathĀ Ā andĀ Ā whatĀ Ā ifsĀ Ā separatingĀ Ā theirĀ Ā lipsĀ Ā .Ā Ā lostĀ Ā inĀ Ā oceanĀ Ā eyesĀ Ā forĀ Ā aĀ Ā splitĀ Ā secondĀ Ā beforeĀ Ā realityĀ Ā comesĀ Ā backĀ Ā toĀ Ā biteĀ Ā ,Ā Ā hisĀ Ā wordsĀ Ā likeĀ Ā aĀ Ā stabĀ Ā toĀ Ā theĀ Ā heartĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā knewĀ Ā heĀ Ā wasĀ Ā onlyĀ Ā reiteratingĀ Ā herĀ Ā pointĀ Ā ,Ā Ā soĀ Ā whyĀ Ā didĀ Ā itĀ Ā hurtĀ Ā soĀ Ā muchĀ Ā comingĀ Ā fromĀ Ā hisĀ Ā lipsĀ Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā rightĀ Ā ,Ā Ā youāreĀ Ā theĀ Ā guyĀ Ā forĀ Ā yourĀ Ā wifeĀ Ā .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā wordsĀ Ā snappyĀ Ā andĀ Ā reekingĀ Ā ofĀ Ā jealousyĀ Ā asĀ Ā sheĀ Ā pullsĀ Ā awayĀ Ā fromĀ Ā hisĀ Ā holdĀ Ā .Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā the Ā sorrowĀ Ā ofĀ Ā realityĀ Ā isĀ Ā thatĀ Ā youāreĀ Ā marriedĀ Ā ,Ā Ā mrĀ Ā chapmanĀ Ā ,Ā Ā andĀ Ā iĀ Ā amĀ Ā justĀ Ā anotherĀ Ā ofĀ Ā yourĀ Ā foolishĀ Ā co - starsĀ Ā toĀ Ā fallĀ Ā forĀ Ā yourĀ Ā charmĀ Ā .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā bitternessĀ Ā wasĀ Ā abruptĀ Ā andĀ Ā uncalledĀ Ā forĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā itĀ Ā takesĀ Ā twoĀ Ā toĀ Ā tangoĀ Ā ,Ā Ā afterĀ Ā allĀ Ā .Ā Ā whatĀ Ā didĀ Ā sheĀ Ā expectĀ Ā whenĀ Ā startingĀ Ā thisĀ Ā messĀ Ā ofĀ Ā aĀ Ā conversationĀ Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā soĀ Ā ,Ā Ā weĀ Ā agreeĀ Ā ?Ā Ā whateverĀ Ā thisĀ Ā isĀ Ā ,Ā Ā it'sĀ Ā overĀ Ā ...Ā Ā rightĀ Ā ?Ā Ā āĀ
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You should go,ā I breathed. "You should definitely go.ā āGo here?ā His mouth was on my shoulder. āOr here?ā It moved up my neck.
Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
*Ā Ā /Ā Ā avenucsĀ Ā Ā :Ā Ā danielĀ Ā &Ā Ā islaĀ Ā .
*Ā Ā Ā @strwbsāĀ sentĀ aĀ memeĀ Ā Ā ;Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā weĀ can'tĀ runĀ fromĀ thisĀ foreverĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ wasĀ tiredĀ Ā ;Ā Ā theĀ entireĀ dayĀ ofĀ shootingĀ sureĀ couldĀ tireĀ anĀ oldĀ manĀ outĀ .Ā evenĀ withĀ islaāsĀ faceĀ onĀ theĀ radarĀ ,Ā evenĀ withĀ allĀ theĀ sweetĀ touchesĀ theyĀ managedĀ toĀ shareĀ betweenĀ oneĀ anotherĀ onĀ theĀ screenĀ ā¦Ā heĀ neededĀ hisĀ timeĀ offĀ .Ā butĀ suddenlyĀ ,Ā asĀ heĀ heardĀ herĀ troublingĀ wordsĀ againstĀ hisĀ earĀ ,Ā dannyĀ wasĀ wideĀ awakeĀ suddenlyĀ .Ā entirelyĀ .Ā eyesĀ widenedĀ asĀ heĀ carefullyĀ tookĀ holdĀ ofĀ herĀ wristĀ &Ā leadĀ herĀ awayĀ fromĀ theĀ pryingĀ eyesĀ ,Ā behindĀ oneĀ ofĀ theĀ setĀ upĀ curtainsĀ .Ā whatĀ didĀ sheĀ meanĀ byĀ thatĀ ?Ā theyĀ bothĀ seemedĀ asĀ ifĀ runningĀ fromĀ whatĀ happenedĀ afterĀ theĀ charityĀ ballĀ wasĀ theĀ rightĀ thingĀ toĀ doĀ .Ā whenĀ inĀ factĀ ,Ā heĀ hasnātĀ stoppedĀ thinkingĀ aboutĀ thatĀ elevatorĀ atĀ theĀ afterpartyĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā didĀ iĀ overstepĀ itĀ ?Ā iĀ thoughtĀ youĀ werenātĀ drunkĀ iĀ wasĀ carefulĀ iĀ āĀ iādĀ ratherĀ dieĀ onĀ theĀ spotĀ thanĀ toĀ hurtĀ youĀ everĀ ,Ā myĀ doveĀ .Ā Ā āĀ heĀ saidĀ inĀ aĀ breathĀ ,Ā hisĀ handsĀ cuppingĀ hersĀ carefullyĀ .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā workingĀ Ā togetherĀ Ā inĀ Ā suchĀ Ā closeĀ Ā proximityĀ Ā provedĀ Ā torturousĀ Ā ;Ā Ā badĀ Ā enoughĀ Ā beforeĀ Ā ,Ā Ā worstĀ Ā nowĀ Ā thatĀ Ā sheādĀ Ā hadĀ Ā aĀ Ā sweetĀ Ā tasteĀ Ā ofĀ Ā theĀ Ā forbiddenĀ Ā fruitĀ Ā .Ā Ā cheeksĀ Ā heatedĀ Ā atĀ Ā stolenĀ Ā glancesĀ Ā ,Ā Ā stomachĀ Ā flutteredĀ Ā atĀ Ā on - screenĀ Ā romanceĀ Ā allĀ Ā whilstĀ Ā mindĀ Ā relivedĀ Ā off - screenĀ Ā rendezvousĀ Ā .Ā Ā couldnātĀ Ā helpĀ Ā wordsĀ Ā thatĀ Ā fellĀ Ā fromĀ Ā mouthĀ Ā duringĀ Ā whatĀ Ā wasĀ Ā meantĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā aĀ Ā muchĀ Ā neededĀ Ā breakĀ Ā ,Ā Ā thinkingĀ Ā aloudĀ Ā landingĀ Ā herĀ Ā aloneĀ Ā Ā (Ā Ā Ā asĀ Ā couldĀ Ā beĀ Ā onĀ Ā setĀ Ā Ā )Ā Ā withĀ Ā himĀ Ā .Ā Ā againĀ Ā .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā shhĀ Ā .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā softĀ Ā fingertipĀ Ā pressesĀ Ā againstĀ Ā hisĀ Ā lipsĀ Ā ,Ā Ā aĀ Ā smallĀ Ā smileĀ Ā playingĀ Ā onĀ Ā herĀ Ā ownĀ Ā ;Ā Ā sheādĀ Ā neverĀ Ā seenĀ Ā theĀ Ā olderĀ Ā hommeĀ Ā soĀ Ā flusteredĀ Ā ,Ā Ā aĀ Ā farĀ Ā cryĀ Ā fromĀ Ā hisĀ Ā usuallyĀ Ā suaveĀ Ā mannerĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā wasĀ Ā thisĀ Ā herĀ Ā doingĀ Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā wasnātĀ Ā drunkĀ Ā .Ā Ā iĀ Ā wantedĀ Ā toĀ Ā āĀ Ā ...Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā bitesĀ Ā herĀ Ā tongueĀ Ā .Ā Ā gazeĀ Ā dropsĀ Ā toĀ Ā theirĀ Ā handsĀ Ā ,Ā Ā takingĀ Ā aĀ Ā momentĀ Ā toĀ Ā intertwineĀ Ā fingersĀ Ā ,Ā Ā thumbĀ Ā lightlyĀ Ā tracingĀ Ā circlesĀ Ā onĀ Ā hisĀ Ā .Ā Ā ā Ā Ā weĀ Ā shouldĀ Ā stopĀ Ā beforeĀ Ā thingsĀ Ā getĀ Ā complicatedĀ Ā . Ā Ā āĀ Ā tooĀ Ā lateĀ Ā .Ā Ā sheĀ Ā spokeĀ Ā softlyĀ Ā ,Ā Ā hesitantlyĀ Ā ,Ā Ā eyesĀ Ā notĀ Ā daringĀ Ā toĀ Ā meetĀ Ā irresistibleĀ Ā poolsĀ Ā ofĀ Ā blueĀ Ā .
