StrMod

Always organizing, ‘cause dice don’t classified by themselves. Well… They don’t do it till now. ;)

[I’ve updated this post to include several relevant and important links at the bottom.]

I’m a white, male gamer. And I’m standing up.

I try not to take sides on the internet. As much as I love all that it makes possible—including my work—it can be such a terrible platform for discussing important issues. The tonal and facial cues that make real dialogue possible are stripped away, which, more often than not, simply lead to flame wars and intractability. Yet there are times when I simply need to get on my soapbox and take a stand, because it’s that important. All the more as I’ve become the de facto face of Catalyst Game Labs due to my social media work over the last several years.

I’ve been gaming for thirty-four years; attending cons for twenty-eight years; and working in the industry for twenty years. Beyond my family and my faith, this hobby is my life’s passion. A nerd, a geek, a gamer: I fit into it all and embrace it with wild, public abandon. I’ve met almost every last one of my friends through gaming—including my wife—many of whom I still talk with each month. Not to mention the endless, fantastic people of our community I constantly interact with day-to-day through that social media. It’s hard to even articulate the phenomenal joy this hobby has brought Tara and I (and now my kids as well, as they’ve grown up enmeshed in all of it as well).

So it always pains me when I see this community I love hurting anyone. Cuts me to the bone.

I came across an article over the weekend telling the story of numerous horrifying, painful experiences in a hobby that should have brought the writer as much joy as it does me. And yet there is a vile, vicious pollution whose currents churn our hobby’s underbelly.  

(I’m not linking to the article because this isn’t about a single person, but about the numerous posts and articles I’ve read over the years…about the conversations I’ve had…about everyone who gets marginalized.)

I’ll admit that I almost never see such things, so out of sight, out of mind (doesn’t make it right and I’m ashamed of it, but that’s how it’s been in the past). I’ve been exceptionally blessed across those thirty-four years to game with literally hundreds (perhaps even thousands at this point) and it simply doesn’t happen around me. Yet a few times a year I hear or read about it, as is the case of the article I read over the weekend. And of course, in those instance, I’ll re-tweet or post a short comment to spread awareness (did that to some uproar almost a year ago).

Yet this time felt different. It tore at me with a far greater impact than previously. I certainly wish all instances of hearing about these things would pummel at me with such force, but it hasn’t been the case. After a retweet, I usually let it go. So what made this case different? Especially as there’s another, powerfully insidious force at work here. 

I’ve seen it happen before and I watched it unfold regarding this article now. “That seems exaggerated.” Such an innocent remark. Especially taken against the context that you do need to be very careful about what you read on the internet. (When I’m checking news sites, even on some of the most trusted sites on the planet I’ll often go to multiple sites to verify events). The problem, as I see it, is that “that seems exaggerated” can lead to “I think the author lied about some of that” to “how can I believe any of it if some of it is a lie?” And taken in the context of “I never see that,” the slippery slope of dismissal has reached the bottom of the hill and the author is either viciously attacked for “compromising her situation,” if not outright lying or perhaps even worse, simply ignored.

Even I’ve felt those tendrils burrowing through my empathy, hollowing out my capacity to believe.

So then I’ve wound back to the question bugging me, especially given the possibilities that its all exaggerated: why have I felt compelled to draft up a giant post and make a public stand? Because of another experience a few months ago.

A woman in the industry that I’ve gotten to know and respect over the last year had just returned from a convention; a con I’ve attended and immensely enjoyed several times. And during a conversation discussing that con, she matter-of-factly tossed out numerous instances of sexual harassment across just the few days of attendance: ugly and incredibly brazen, right out in front of people. Now in each case, she backed the guy off with strength and some choice words; she certainly wasn’t looking to anyone for help, as she can take care of herself. But it was—for me—the stunning juxtaposition of how much she enjoyed the con (and will keep attending)…and oh, yeah, the usual sexual harassment.

Think about that for a moment. “The…usual…sexual…harassment.” I’ve attended well over a hundred conventions all over the world. And I can recall maybe one or two instances of being uncomfortable in all those years. And yet she keeps going to cons year after year with  “the…usual…sexual…harassment.” Just like the woman in that article…just like so many women….

Cut…to…the…bone.

All of that made it personal. Exceptionally personal. After all, this wasn’t an anonymous person on the “oh be careful what you read” internet. This was a co-worker. This is someone who in a very short period of time I knew that if she said this happened, then that’s it. No discussion. It happened.

So when I read this latest painful treatise, it wasn’t some abstract: it was this woman I’ve grown to respect; it was all the amazing women who bring so much to our hobby and have to swim through cesspools to do so—Jill Lucas, president of FASA when I started and the best boss I’ve ever known; Sharon Turner-Mulvihill, whom I’ve worked with across numerous companies and who edited all my novels; our amazing demo agents, such as Tina Vo and Amanda Mitro who make attending Gen Con so enjoyable; other industry professionals whose work I respect and enjoy, such as Lisa Stevens, the CEO of Paizo, or the award-winning author Jennifer Brozek, or the award-winning game designer Monica Valentinelli…the list goes on and on.

It was the thought that my daughter is just about at the age where we let my son start to roam the large conventions by himself…and if I let her off the leash, is someone going to grope her; going to snidely joke “old enough to bleed, old enough to breed”; or corner her in an elevator for something even worse…. I have to make the choice of treating her differently than I did my son versus opening her to those deep currents, to be slopped by filth?

In the end, even if the article is exaggerated—even if numerous articles and situations are exaggerated—that is irrelevant to me. Even one instance is unacceptable.

This. Must. Stop.

Do I think my words will make it so? No, unfortunately I don’t. Nor am I some white knight come to provide protection. After all, there’s strength there that dwarfs my own; not sure I’d be willing to keep attending cons if I had to deal with the cesspools at every step.

Instead, by standing up perhaps a few men who uncomfortably looked the other way or stayed quiet when the vile jokes fly might find the courage to stand up as well. And perhaps just an ounce of support might be found when a woman reads this and knows there are men who’ve long worked in this industry that will stand up and publicly shout down such crap from the rooftops. And even if none of that happens, it’s still the right thing to do.

I’ve certainly not been perfect. I can look back across a lifetime of con attendance and gaming and cringe now and then at stupid comments I’ve made. And for that, I publicly apologize to any woman who ever felt as though I didn’t respected her, or made her feel as though she is less valuable as she is to our hobby, community, and industry.

And perhaps for that very same sense, there are men who feel ashamed to stand up. Well shake it off. Do the right thing. Stand up. This will only change if we shine a bright enough light down into those repugnant currents. If we get enough people saying this is not okay we just might push those currents down where they’re too afraid to come out any more.

Now let me be absolutely clear, here: Harassment or bullying of any sort against anyone for any reason—be it gender, race, religion, you name it—is not okay. And if I hear anyone around me gatekeeping with that tired old mantra “you’re not a real gamer,” I’m gonna slap that down. Catalyst employees know this and swiftly take care of any such situations. (If anyone has ever had any issues that were not treated appropriately by one of our employees or Catalyst agents, feel free to email me [email protected] and I’ll immediately follow up). So this filth laps onto far too many. But it seems pretty clear to me over the research I’ve done that women, by a large margin, take the brunt of this hurt.

For anyone that feels even a moment’s regret over any of this, or experiences they’ve had, please spread this post. Plenty of others are doing the same and doing it well. But we need to do it more. I’m adding my voice to theirs to swell the chorus and shine a light on those currents.

And for all those amazing gamers that make the hobby brilliant for millions of people all over the world, thank you!

I’m a white, male gamer. And I’m standing up.

Randall

[Posted with permission of Heather Coleman, Catalyst Game Labs Owner]

UPDATED: 4-13-16

The following are a few important links to articles that have appeared since this first posted, supporting and expanding my points, and I felt it exceedingly appropriate to include them in an update here. Once again, thanks to everyone standing up!

Christopher Helton (author at EnWorld and Dorkland) wrote an excellent article for one of our hobbies most popular website; the 1,034 comments on the post show how important this topic is: We’re All Gamers Together: Why Harassment Has To Stop

Ken Burnside (award-winning science writer and game designer) posted an brilliant article, not only expanding Christopher and I’s thoughts, but also included a great list of preventative actions: For Good Men To See Nothing

With the last wizard idea, my eighth series of D&D character ideas is done:

Barbarian

Bard

Cleric

Druid

Fighter

Monk

Paladin

Ranger

Rogue

Sorcerer

Warlock

Wizard

Resource Dump: Creating Characters!

Primary Characters

Your Hero: Top Ten Rules

10 Traits of a Great Protagonist

4 Steps to Creating a Truly Active Protagonist

20 Tips for Creating Relatable Protagonists

How to Center your Story

How to Create Unforgettable Protagonists

25 Things You Should Know About Protagonists

Creating Memorable Characters

Creating Strong Female Protagonists

Creating Dynamic Protagonists

How to Create Characters

Inner Dialogue - Writing Inner Character Thoughts

25 Things a Great Character Needs

5 Ways to Create 3D Characters

Secondary Characters

10 Secrets to Creating Unforgettable Supporting Characters

How to Write Effective Supporting Characters

Question to Ask (& Strengthen) Your Minor Characters

5 Tips for Developing Supporting Characters

Techniques for Creating Great Secondary Characters

5 Steps to Dazzling Minor Characters

3 Ways to Create Stupendous Supporting Characters

Creating Memorable Secondary Characters

5 Archetypes for Supporting Characters

Your Map to Creating a Memorable Minor Characters

Names

Top Ten Tips

8 Tips for Naming Characters

7 Rules of Naming Fictional Characters

Name that Character!

6 Creative Ways to Name your Character

Naming your Characters

A Guide to Naming Characters

Female: 1 | 2 | 3

Male: 1 | 2 | 3

Alien: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Surname: 1 | 2 | 3 

Unisex: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Traits

List: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Developing Character Traits

How to Create Good Personalities for your Characters

Develop Memorable Personalities

Give your Character Personality

How to Create a Character’s Personality

How to Make Sure your Character’s Personality Shines

5 Building Blocks of your Character’s Personality

Appearance

Appearance Generator

Your Character’s Physical Appearance

How to Describe a Character’s Looks

Describing a Character’s Appearance

Character Description Resource

Examples of Physical Characteristics

Describing the Physical Attributes of your Characters

How Great Authors Describe Character Appearance

Ultimate Guide to Nailing your Character’s Appearance

Describing Clothing and Appearance

Character Appearance Help

Character Description Resource

Describing People: A Person’s Physical Appearance

Describing the Physical Attributes of Characters

Speech

Talking About your Character: Speech

Variety in Character Voices

All your Characters Talk the Same

How to Create Distinctive Character Voices

How to Create Characters Who Don’t Sound like You

The Art of Voice in Fiction

Create Varying, Yet Realistic, Speech Patterns

The Art and Craft of Dialogue

Writing Character Voice

Creating Differences in the Speech Patterns of your Characters

Style: Person and Speech

Dialects: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Backstory

Building Better Backstories

Basic Tips to Create Better Characters with Tragic Backstories

How to Write a Backstory

Writing Characters Using Conflict and Backstory

Backstory Description Generator

Questions to Create Character Backstory

How to Weave in Backstory to Reveal Character

Nail your Character’s Backstory

How to Write Backstory Without Putting your Reader to Sleep

How to Write a Killer Backstory

Diversity

How to Make Young Adult Fiction More Diverse

Writing People of Color

A Few Tips and Resources for Writing Characters of Colour

Writing Characters of Colour Tastefully

Writing With Colour

7 Offensive Mistakes Well-Intentioned Writers Make

Writing Characters of Colour

Describing Characters of Colour

Gender

Female: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Male: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Transgender: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Non-Binary: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Sexuality

Main Character Sexuality

On Writing LGBTQ Characters: 1 | 2

Writing Gay Characters

Guide to LGBT YA

Avoiding LGBTQ Stereotypes

Writing Bisexual Characters: 1 | 2

Writing Asexual Characters: 1 | 2

Pansexual & Demisexual Characters

How to Write Gay, Bisexual and Pansexual Characters

Introduction

Introducing a Character

Introducing your Main Character

Do’s and Don’ts for Introducing your Protagonist

First Impressions

How to Introduce a Character

How Not to Introduce a Main Character

Introducing the Protagonist

Development

Character Development

9 Ingredients of Character Development

Characterisation 1 - Character Development

How to Develop a Character for a Story

Character Development

Character Development Drives Conflict

Developing your Characters and Making them Interesting

Relationships

How to Write Strong Character Relationships

Character Relationships

3 Keys to Developing Character Relationships

The Secret Behind Great Character Relationships

3 Tips for Character Relationships

Building Believable Relationships

Sibling: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Platonic: 1 | 2 | 3

Romantic: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Strengths

Identifying your Character’s Strengths

Character Strengths and Weaknesses

Introducing the 24 Character Strengths

Character Strengths and Virtues List

Strengths and Weaknesses

A Balance of Strengths

Flaws

123 Ideas for Character Flaws

DarkWorld RPG Flaws List

Character Flaws

Ten Ugliest Character Flaws

The Four Types of Character Flaws

On Giving Flaws and Weaknesses

Character Flaw Index

Goal

Why your Character’s Goal Needs to be 1 of these 5 Things

Goals Define the Plot

Goal Setting for You and your Character

How to Explore you Character’s Motivation

4 Ways to Motivate Character and Plot

Motivation

By Genre

Fantasy: 1 | 2 | 3

Sci-Fi: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Romance: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Thrillers: 1 | 2 

Horror: 1 | 2 | 3

Heroes

Your Hero: Top Ten Rules

How to Write your Own Hero Story

What Makes a Great Hero?

Creating Heroes and Heroines

Write a Story about a Hero

How to Create an Antihero that Readers Love

Heroes vs. Anti-Heroes

Create a Super Hero

How to Create a Brand New Iconic Hero or Villain

What Makes a Hero

Villains

How to Create a Credible Villain in Fiction

How to Make a Purely Evil Villain Interesting

9 Evil Examples of the Villain Archetype

How Not to Create a Villain

Creating Villains People Love to Hate

3 Techniques for Crafting a Better Villain

Basic Tips to Write Better & More Despicable Villains

Writing Tips for Creating a Complex Villain

How to Create a Great Villain

Do’s & Don’ts

Do’s and Dont’s of Writing a Good Character

How to Create a Character

Characterisation Dos and Dont’s

Female Characters of Do’s and Dont’s

Do’s and Dont’s of Dialect

Helpful Writing Blogs

fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment*

writeworld

referenceforwriters

thewritingcafe

aquestionofcharacter *

writingwithcolor

fuckyeah-char-dev

dailycharacterdevelopment

Clichés

Characters and Cliches

Top 10 Character Cliches

7 Lazy Character Cliches 

10 Most Cliched Characters in Sci-Fi

Four Worst Character Cliches

Female Character Cliches

Character Cliches to Avoid

The Cliche Character Test

How Cliches Can Help You Make Great Characters

Templates

How to Create a Character Profile

Writing Character Bios

Character Sheets and Character Creation

Gender/Sexuality Generator

Extremely Detailed Character Template

Writer’s Resource: Character Template

Classic Classes

Warrior- This is my first game so I’m going to pick a durable class so I don’t die.

Cleric - This is my 600th game so I am going to pick the class that wouldn’t die even from a direct meteor strike.

Bard - I am going to be the one drinking heavily every game so I can just mumble “Bardsong” every turn from the floor.

Thief - I am going to do everything in my power to find ways to break your carefully written scenario with improbable skills like Disguise, Ride and Profession - Chef because I can.

Druid - I’m just here to shapeshift. 

Ranger - As above but I’m probably also an elf.  

Mage - I enjoy micromanagement. Like, a LOT.

Sorcerer - I despise micromanagement.

Don’t feel bad, this is a common question. Luckily, I’ve complied my list of my favorite tips for new DM’s! 

If I had to pick one thing that I wish I’d done a lot sooner… See Tip #6. Seriously, I kick myself daily for not thinking that one up sooner. 

Chaotic Neutral Inc.’s Top 10 quick tips for new DM’s

1.    Have a plan. Thisis the most important part of DMing. Having a plan for your game can be assimple or complex as you want it to be. The first thing to think about is this:What do I want my players to do? Usually this involves a quest. Since this isyour first session you can start with a simple quest that leads into a muchmuch larger quest. It’s a very simple and straightforward approach to running agame. A simple problem turns out to be a much bigger problem, and your playersare right at the center of it all. I recommend a good ol’ fashioned “Dungeoncrawl” as a good first mission. Something like exploring a long abandonedcastle in search of a treasure of legend. Along the way the players canencounter monsters, traps, puzzles, and clues that lead them to the item,treasure, or person(s) (living or dead) that they seek.

2.    Resources. Onceyou have a plan (even a very basic one) you need to flesh it out. This can beaccomplished in a number of ways but always remember that your Player’s Handbook(PHB), Dungeon Master’s Guide (DMG), and Monster Manual (MM) are always therefor you. While I don’t have any experience with 4th Edition Ido know that both the 3.5 and 5E DMG both have tables so you can simply rolldice to determine what your players will encounter in a dungeon or whatever youwant. Below I’ve also catalogued some other great resources that I use forrunning games that come in really handy:

a.      DonJon - http://donjon.bin.sh/d20/dungeon/ - This is a coolwebsite. Donjon has everything you need to pretty much create an entire fantasyworld all in one convenient website. Donjon has a random dungeon generator thatmust be seen to be believed. It comes with a detailed map, monsters, andtreasure all pregenerated based on the level you want. Not to mention that youhave options for creating worlds/dungeons/etc. for D&D Editions 3.5, 4, and5! That’s a lot of content! Oh, and did I mention it’s all FREE? Double the winfor you.

b.     Pyromancer’s Dungeon Builder - http://pyromancers.com/ - Once you’ve mastered the finerpoints of DMing Pyromancer’s offers a whole new level of dungeon building.Render huge, stunning, and highly detailed maps of everything to city streets,to castle walls, and even build the deck of your own warship. All of this is atyour fingertips, for FREE!

c.      D&D’s homepage - http://dnd.wizards.com/ - While Wizards of the Coastdoesn’t have a ton of help to offer they do have some resources that you canlook into as well as forums for new or veteran DM’s and Players that are morethan happy to help their fellow gamers. Again, more FREE stuff!

3.    Dice. Ok, we allknow you need dice to play/run D&D. However, there is something to considerhere in regards to what dice you have. I have a set of dice that I thought wasconstantly cursed to roll low numbers. I’ve gone through a few dice sets thatlooked cool but always rolled very poorly. Then I found the YouTube video I’velinked below. Apparently, you can end up with off-centered dice that favoreither high or low numbers. Following this train of thought, it’s probably bestto to get a few sets of Chessex fully translucent dice. While this isdefinitely not required I recently found this and wanted to share theknowledge. I’ll soon be swapping out several sets of my dice for the completelytranslucent because they’re more balanced and therefore not weighted. (Thoughfor hard boss fights I keep a couple of sets that are weighted for rollinghigh.)

4.    Be creative. Thisis one of the most sacred tenants of D&D. Don’t settle for the same dungeontype/story arc/ quest type that you’ve always played. There is a world ofopportunity out there. You can do anything from high adventure, to cloak anddagger intrigue, all the way to comedy in D&D. There is no limit to what youcan do.

5.    The “DM Rule.” Therules are there to help you. All of the books that are available to you forrunning a game are great and they’re always there to clarify when things getmurky or confusing. However, oftentimes you don’t want to break the gameplay tolook up a rule. That’s a common thing. Sometimes you need to look one up, othertimes you need to use “the DM rule” as applicable. The DM rule is simply: “I’mthe DM, here’s how I say this works.” Or “…here’s how I say it happens (orhappened). Sometimes you need to be a bit draconian and take control of thegame as sometimes your players (who are looking out for themselves or theircharacters) will find a ruling not to their liking. Sometimes you just have toremind them that you are running this game and not them, politely of course.

6.    Record your sessions! Thisis a huge thing. If you want to improve yourself as a DM, or even as a player,get an audio recorder and set it up in the center (or as close to as possible)of your table and have it recording your entire session. True, a session can belong but recording the session is an excellent tool. After the game hasconcluded go back and listen to the session. Think about it and feel free toquestion your actions at this point. “Did I make the right calls?” “How couldthis part of the sesson have gone better from the DM’s perspective?” The pointis, that use this as you would any other tool in your gaming arsenal. It canalso be a great tool for remembering little things, plot hooks, or just keepingthe story’s continuity straight. Also, you have a great little gem of futurenostalgia. I’ve got sessions recorded from years ago that I still lovelistening to and remembering games long past. Memories will fade over time, butthese recordings will last forever.

7.    Designate one of yourplayers as the party’s Record Keeper. While you are running the game youneed at least one person to keep track of everything from loot to plot points.This is a very important thing. As the DM you need to be able to run your game.Getting bogged down with how much loot was scavenged two fights ago orremembering what the quest ‘s main objective is is up to your Record Keeper.Again, don’t be afraid to get a bit draconian at times to let them know towrite things down. Even after years of playing and being a DM I still will getto an important plot point and tell my Record Keeper, “You might want to writethis down.” As the DM you have enough on your plate already. This will take ahuge load off your mind.

8.    Dealing with unrulyplayers. This can be a really hard thing to do. Especially if this playeris a friend. I guarantee you’ll have one and it’ll be your hardest challenge asa DM. You have to be able to deal with difficult or unruly players. At thispoint you just have to do what is best for both you and what’s best for thegame. Sometimes that does mean asking a person to leave. Usually, though, youcan just take this person aside and just talk to them and let them know thatthey’re hurting the game. Be sure to reiterate that you want everyone to havefun and work with them. Sometimes that’s all it takes to take back control froman unruly player without things getting nasty.

9.    No “meta-gaming.” Forfirst-time gamers this can be tricky. Mega-Gaming is quite simply defined as “any strategy, action or methodused in a game which transcends a prescribed ruleset, uses external factors toaffect the game, or goes beyond the supposed limits or environment set by thegame. Another definition refers to the game universe outside of the gameitself.” (From Google) Quite basically, know when a conversation is“in-game” or “out-of-game”. As confusing as that sounds it plays out moreeasily in-game.

a. Example: Players, 1,2, and 3 splitoff from players 4, and 5. Players 4 and 5 go down a path that leads them to afight with a nasty creature. Meanwhile Players 1,2,3 are further down theirtrack but haven’t encountered anything and are beyond earshot or eyesight ofPlayers 4 and 5. As such, one of the 1,2, and 3’s group can’t just stop andsay, “Maybe we should help the others.” Why? Because, logically, theircharacters cannot hear or see the others to know they are in danger.