I want to add on here, Especially since you said you’re a minor, and therefore, most likely living with parents, or someone who has legal authority over you, yes, 0P is right, go forth and write. But think about where you’re writing before you do so. Don’t write it in google docs or any other word processor that has been in the news about scraping their content and monitoring it. Are any of your accounts ones that are seen or monitored or shared by your family. Are your parents the sort where if they see it this becomes an awkward sex talk or this becomes a dangerous living situation. Laws are shitty right now about sex. Laws are shitty about minors and personal autonomy. It is shitty and it is getting worse. Treat writing porn like watching it, treat writing dead dove like reading it - go forth, have at it, think about who and/or what might digitally walk in on you and plan your writing space accordingly.
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Since Vendpocalypse didn’t disprove it, now seems like a good time to share a head canon that I’ve low key held for a while, which is that Heinz and Charlene split when Vanessa was really little but for *insert weird Drusselsteinian law here* reasons they couldn’t get divorced until they’d jumped through some sort of ridiculous hoop. They’d been separated, and functionally divorced for years, but only technically, legally got divorced like less than a year before the start of the show. So Charlene saw Vanessa’s early episode attempts to bust her dad has some sort of “oh I guess having it all official is hitting her harder than we thought” whereas from Vanessa’s perspective, they’ve been split up for years, can we please focus on the fact that a platypus just beat Dad up because he hypnotized the entire pigeon population?
My headcanon is that doof's lab exploded and destroyed the mcguffin doll along with norm. And he was rebuild several years later as we saw in the original show
Embroidery is a craft that uses thread to decorate fabric (and other materials). It’s a great way to spruce up a garment, customise objects, and to hide mends you’ve made!
Embroidery is usually done with embroidery floss, but depending on the base material you’re working on, you could also use yarn, ribbons, or plain old sewing thread. Don’t be afraid to experiment!
Embroidery is easier to do on taut fabric than limp fabric. That’s why most people use embroidery hoops. While not strictly necessary, a hoop will make your life so much easier.
Using the right needle will help, too. Use a crewel needle if you’re working with embroidery floss, a chenille needle if you’re working with ribbon or yarn, or a tapestry needle if you’re doing cross-stitch embroidery on open-weave fabrics.
While there are many types of embroidery from all over the world, this post will focus on some basic stitches you can use in your own work.
Basic embroidery stitches:
For a more thorough overview of embroidery stitches, check out these embroidery tutorials by Mary Corbet’s Needle ‘n Thread.
The following images show some of the most basic stitches:
(Image source)
The 16 stitches in the images above can be combined into any shape or form you want. You might recognise some from my hand sewing post: embroidery is a type of hand sewing, after all.
You don’t need to know all of these to be able to make beautiful things. Even just one of these is a great start for a project.
This sampler by Sew Nancy shows how these basic stitches can be used to outline shapes or form flowers, for example.
(Image source)
Fiorelila used a combination of the stem stitch, satin stitch, lazy daisy, and french knots to spruce up this sweater:
(Image source)
And this person used lazy daisies to add some flair to their jeans:
(Image source)
Embroidery for visible mending:
Embroidery is a useful tool to hide mends you’ve made, or to even accentuate them if that’s your style. This is called visible mending. While this is a topic that deserves a post on its own, here are some quick examples:
Like this fix by Redditor Takemythyme who embroidered a rose over a hole in a knit fabric:
(Image source)
Or like how this person has spruced up their jeans repairs with embroidery:
(Image source)
In this example, The Woolery Guy chose to use flower embroidery to make a hole in a knit fabric look like it was there by design:
(Image source)
For more examples, check out Pinterest or VisibleMending.com.
Conclusion:
Embroidery is a useful skill to give new life to your wardrobe. You can use it to give some flair to items you’ve grown bored off, or even to mend your clothes.
Once you’ve got a few basic stitches under your belt, the possibilities are endless. Be creative and have fun with it!
genuinely spent way too much time trying to figure out who to draw for the prompt (“this isn’t who was supposed to be under the mistletoe with candace”) but decided on baljeet doing the mind flip thing cuz it’s Funny (i don’t even remember what episode that was from)
This is so cute!! I love the idea of it being a surprise/fake out! I was just picturing someone else accidentally ending up next to her but adding that extra layer of hijinks is perfect! And tying it into an established invention of the boys is great! I love it so much!!
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Happy Holidays! I got @feeling--pink as my secret santa, who asked for Gretchen and Isabella hanging out. Since she didn't ask for anything specific for them to be doing I decided to keep it wintery. I've also thrown it up on my Ao3 if it's easier to read there.
I added in a couple other people but did my best to keep it focused on Isabella and Gretchen. It was really fun and hopefully you like it!
It was early morning as Isabella skipped across the street towing a wagon piled with enough blankets, pillows, stuffed toys, and soft accessories that an outside observer would be left assuming that staying within the wagon broke the laws of physics. That was what the combined skill of an Efficient Suitcase Packing, a Competitive Item Stacking, and a Metastable Equilibrium Mastery patch could do. Never doubt a Fireside Girl.
“Hi Phineas! I brought all the blankets I could find.”
Phineas and Ferb both looked up from where they’d had their heads bowed together over a blueprint. Behind them was a mountain of blankets that put Isabella’s wagon to shame. She could see Holly’s favorite throw blanket and a Space Adventures comforter that must be Baljeet’s, and she really hoped they asked before taking Candace’s giant Ducky Momo plush. “Great! Just add it in with the rest. We haven’t reached the construction phase yet.”
Parking her wagon Isabella slided up next to Phineas, tucking her hands behind her back as she leaned in to get a closer look at the blueprints. And maybe as an excuse to snuggle up next to Phineas.
Maybe mostly to snuggle up next to Phineas.
“Whatcha doin?”
“We’re going to build the ultimate blanket fort! Do you want to help?”
“Absolutely!” she said, before wincing as she remembered the promise she’d made her mother last night. “I can’t. I’m helping my mom with this big breakfast event at the restaurant. But I’ll come back after I’m done.”
“Sounds good! We can hang out together when you get back!”
“Great!”
~
When Isabella came back the blanket fort had been erected and dwarfed both the tree and the house. She took a moment to appreciate the architectural skill; she particularly liked the flying buttresses made of couch cushions. Pushing open the gate she found Irving sitting behind a table with three giant silver tea urns. Isabella hesitantly walked up, glancing around the otherwise deserted yard. “Hi Irving. Um, Whatcha doin…?”
“Hi Isabella! I’m manning the hot chocolate station! Phineas and Ferb decided that it should stay outside the fort to prevent chocolate stains.”
After a moment of consideration, Isabella pulled out the tray of treats her mom had sent with her, setting it on the table. “Have you seen Phineas?”
“He and Ferb already went in.”
“Thanks!” she called, jogging inside.
The inside of the fort, like nearly all Phineas and Ferb constructions, was larger than the outside dimensions would suggest so it was no surprise that Isabella found herself lost. There were some proper hallways with marked arrows, but mostly there were gaps in the blankets to crawl through that occasionally opened to rooms or hallway intersections. She lifted the hanging edge of a blanket, coming out in a dim room full of books cut through by the beam of flashlights. She glanced around, noticing a very familiar reader. Gretchen was tucked away in an alcove surrounded by a pile of pillows, finishing up the last pages of the eighth Tales of Hainar book.
Isabella flopped down on a neighboring pillow. Gretchen could get… touchy about getting interrupted while reading. Isabella would tease her about it but she’d been reliably and repeatedly informed she was just as bad if not worse. “I thought you said the eighth one wasn’t worth rereading,” she said as Gretchen closed the book, voice automatically dropping down into the kind of hushed whisper meant for hiding under the covers with a flashlight, a friend, and a book.
Gretchen blinked up at her, clearly only just now registering Isabella’s presence. “Oh, hi Chief,” she said in the same hushed tone. Processing Isabella’s question she glanced down at the book before shrugging. “The series peaked with the third book.”
“The fourth one’s really good too.”
“You just think that because it’s the one that introduced Phoebus.”
“And just what’s that supposed to mean?”
“An excitable and ever-cheerful red-headed inventor?”
Isabella lifted her chin imperiously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she lied, steadfastly ignoring her blush.
“Sure thing, Chief,” Gretchen said, knowing smile making it clear she wasn’t fooling anyone. “I was rereading the whole series in preparation for getting the new one. “The reread was supposed to last until Christmas to distract me from not having the new one yet, but I read too fast.”
“You mean this one?” Isabella pulled out her brand new copy of A Night of Endless Suns.
Gretchen scrambled to her feet. “You have a copy already?”
“Hanukkah present!” she sing-songed. “Do you want to read it with me?”
“Oh my gosh, yes!”
They piled in together in the pillows, Gretchen angling the flashlight as they tilted their heads together.
Una stared up at the desert sun. It beat down on her and the red sands alike, sending waves of heat into the air. Her breath rasped with every inhale of dry, hot air, whistling like the wind through the thorn trees. Her whole body ached, from the soles of her feet to the throb in her knees to the tight, stinging sunburns across her shoulders. She longed for nothing more than to curl up and sleep until the sweet relief of night. Tuck herself away in a burrow to wait out the sun, like the chittering foxes, so much cleverer than her. But she could not, time was already against her and she could not stop until her mission was done. Jutting up in the distance, looming huge and still days away was her destination. The Cliffs of Sirral.
Gretchen grabbed her shoulder, shaking her. “Are we finally getting a book in Una’s point of view? I can’t believe it, I never thought it would happen. I’m so excited!”
Isabella grabbed her back, all but vibrating. “And we’re starting in the Tuserc Desert! That means we might actually get the Vulstr Temple!”
“Oh my gosh, do you think that’s what the title’s referring to?”
“Yes! It has to be!”
“And did you read the interview Stephanie Paolini gave in Heather Magazine?”
“Where she said that that this book was going to shake up the entire series?”
“And that there was going to be a shocking twist that was going to change everything?”
“Eeeee!”
“Eeeeee!”
“Keep reading! Turn the page, turn the page!”
“Right! Right right right! Next chapter next chapter! Vultsr Temple!”
The words etched into the stone were not in any language Una had ever seen. Despite that, or maybe because of it, Una found herself entranced by them. They almost seemed to form a pattern, swirling together like the stars as seen from the Immarsiean Plateau.
…The symbols didn’t almost form a pattern, they did.
A star map, from almost 4,000 years ago.
“Vulstr Temple!!!!”
“Vulstr Temple!!!!!!”
A handsome silhouette appeared in the doorway of the landing above her. “Una. Isn’t this a surprise.”
“How can a silhouette be handsome?” Gretchen frowned. “It’s just a shape.”
Isabella shrugged. “Maybe it’s a handsome shape?”
Una smiled. Everything would be better now. “Victor.”
Victor stepped into the light, giving Una his signature dashing grin.
“Victor?” Isabella said. “Seriously? What is he doing here? The last time we saw him he was sailing across the Sappelo Sea in the other direction. It shouldn’t even be possible for him to be here.”
“And the book had actually been good up until now! We were going to get the Vulstr Temple.”
“We were going to get the Vulstr Temple.”
“Instead we get Victor.”
“Instead we get Victor.” Isabella dropped her head onto the book. “What do you think the chances are that he doesn’t stick around long?”
“Not very likely,” Gretchen said, sounding equally defeated. “Remember the second half of Wings of Silver Feathers?”
“I’ve been to conventions. I’m a member of multiple online fan clubs and theory boards. I’ve never met a single person who actually likes him. The closest I’ve found is people who like his fight scene in The Ice Flame Eternal.”
“It was amusing when he got strung upside down from that chandelier.”
“Pity he couldn’t stay strung up there.” She forced herself to lift her head from the book. “Alright. Let’s focus on the positives. The book’s been good so far. We still might get the Vulstr Temple. And maybe Victor will get strung up on another chandelier.”
The sword found its way home. Una’s breath caught in her lungs, choking as blood filled her lungs. The world faltered, going still, then dim. She dropped to her knees. She could hear the sounds of the fighting continue, but it was far away, as if she was behind a thick veil. Strong, caring arms enveloped her, cradling her as they gently lowered her to the ground.
“Una.” Una forced her eyes open – when had she shut them? – to see Victor’s face leaning over her. He gently reached out and brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. “I’m here. I’m here.”
That’s right. Victor was here. She let her eyes slip closed as she felt her last breath leave her. Everything would be okay now.
“WHAT!?!” Gretchen shrieked.
“Did they just kill Una!?!”
“Thirty pages in? And in a fight with a random, unnamed soldier? A one on one fight? Una should have mopped the floor with him!”
“She totally should have mopped the floor with him!!”
“Is this why there was that earlier scene by the campfire where she entrusted him with the Helnar Ruby and the map?”
“I know, right? She didn’t even get t–” Isabella froze as a terrible thought occurred to her. “Oh no. Do you think this is what Stephanie Paolini meant when she talked about a shocking twist?”
Gretchen’s face matched her feelings of dawning horror. “It can’t be. It can’t. …Right?” She grabbed Isabella’s hand, clutching it tight enough to bruise. “Tell me this can’t be the twist.”
“Maybe it’s a fake out. Maybe Paolini just wanted a really dramatic end to the chapter.”
“Yeah.” Gretchen nodded her head. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. Una’s one of the most popular characters of the whole series. And Paolini always keeps the same point of view for the whole book. It’s not even a good fake out.”
“Exactly. Watch, we’ll start the next chapter back at the campfire with Una healing up.” They both looked down at the book sprawled out on the pillows where they’d flung it. It wasn’t that Isabella was afraid to pick the book back up, it was just…
Yeah, she just really didn’t want to pick up the book.
“Stand back Isabella,” Gretchen said, squaring her shoulders. “I’ve got this.”
“You can’t–” Isabella tried to tug Gretchen back but she stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Chief. It’s okay. I’ve got this.” Gretchen stepped closer to the book and took a deep breath. Slowly, she bent down, picking it up. She read silently while Isabella waited with baited breath. Then she shut the book.
“Una’s really dead and Victor’s the new point of view character.”
“Are you kidding me!”
“I wish I was.” She let the book drop with a thump. If I try to read any more right now I’m going to set the book on fire.”
“Agreed.” Isabella looked down at the book. It was new, and a present. She shouldn’t just leave it here, that wasn’t responsible. Leaning down she picked it up with two fingers, holding it out like one would a particularly wet piece of garbage. “I’m not even sure I want to finish it at all.”
“I wonder if it’s too late to tell my parents I don’t want it for Christmas anymore. There’s a pillow fight room somewhere in here and I heard Buford’s taken control of it.”
“Are you suggesting we work out our aggression over our book by challenging Buford to a pillow fight?”
“Actually I was suggesting we work out our aggression by kicking his butt in a pillow fight. But if you want to phrase it that way, sure.”
Isabella dropped the book. “I’m sold.”
~
The pillow fight room was actually a pillow fighting pit. The doorway was several feet off the ground, accessible by a knotted climbing rope. Down in the pit Buford was on top of a mountain of pillows, inflicting a reign of terror on the other kids. One kid broke away, making a mad dash for the rope. “Oh no you don’t!” Buford yelled, chucking a pillow. It hit the kid square on, knocking him off the rope with a cry.
“I am king of the pillow fight pit!”
“Hey Buford!” Isabella yelled, stepping into the doorway
Buford’s head shot up to Isabella. “What do you want?”
“We’re here to take you down!”
“Oh yeah?” Buford scooped up a circular pillow, spinning it by it’s tassel. “You and what army?”
“Oh I’m sorry,” Isabella said, planting her hands on her hips and leaning over to better taunt him. “Do you think we need an army to take you down?”
“Come down here and say that to my face!”
“Gladly.”
As one they jumped down into the pit, pillows splashing up to cover them. Buford wasted no time, roaring and flinging his pillow at them, reaching down and scooping up a dangerous looking bolster pillow.
“What are you waiting for?” he yelled. “Minions! Get them!” The kids glanced at each other. A couple of them shuffled in place nervously while a few more clutched at their pillows for comfort. “I said get them. Or are you angling for a bolster pillow to the face?”
The kids’ eyes all went wide with terror and they scrambled to grab their pillows.
“Hey!” Gretchen yelled, ducking down to grab her own weapon.
“If you ain’t going to use them, I will.”
One of the braver kids, a six-year-old in ribboned pigtail braids ran at her with an admirably strong battle cry, wielding a decorative pillow covered in sequins. Isabella leapt over her swing, reaching down to yank it out of her hands. “Fight fair!”
“Never!”
The slipperiness of the sequins made the pillow a poor choice for a close range weapon. Isabella chucked it at Buford’s head, using the cover to surge forward. Buford lost his grip on the bolster pillow and it slid down the mountain as he stumbled a half-step backwards. “Aahh! My eyes! It’s so sparkly!”
Poor close range weapon, excellent defensive projectile.
She dived for cover behind a pillow outcropping in the middle of the floor. “Gretchen! Flanking maneuver number 3!”
“On it!” Gretchen darted around the edge of the room.
Another kid came at Isabella. She grabbed the nearest pillow, bringing it around to block before pushing them away before sprinting out for another pillow ridge. There was a stockpile of Milly’s miniature doll pillows and Isabella paused to grab them, shoving them into her pockets. “Aim to take them out quickly, but remember they’re civilians!”
“Affirmative!” Gretchen swiped at a pair of boys, knocking them back into a mound of down pillows. The two of them carved duel paths from opposite sides of the room towards Buford.
Isabella knocked the last kid’s feet out from under them. “Looks like you’ve lost your army!”
“Yeah well you’re about to lose yours too!”
“I don’t have an arm–” Before she could finish her sentence Buford leapt off his mountain, bringing his pillow to bear directly at Gretchen. Gretchen let out a startled yelp as she dived to get away, a half second too late. Feathers exploded everywhere as the pillow split apart. Gretchen was flung out of the explosion, landing with a dull thump.
“Gretchen!” Isabella abandoned her cover to sprint over to her. She fell to her knees next to Gretchen and gripped her shoulder. “Speak to me!”
“I’m okay.” Gretchen coughed, doing her best to bring an elbow under herself. Isabella pushed her back down. “It only grazed me.”
“Conserve your strength.”
“Not so high and mighty now are y–” A doll pillow hit him between the eyes. “Ow!”
Isabella pulled out a second doll pillow, lining up another shot. A hand touched her ankle. “Isabella,” Gretchen said, barely audible. “Get him to charge. I have a plan.”
“Got it.” Tossing her doll pillow in her hand, she yelled over to Buford, “You want us, come get us.” Then she let the pillow fly.
With an animalistic yell Buford charged. Throwing off one more pillow she dropped down next to Gretchen. As soon as she did Gretchen shoved the edge of a pillow into her hand. Isabella glanced down.
Gretchen was a genius.
Buford was bare feet away, sprinting full tilt. Three… two…
“Now!”
As one she and Gretchen grabbed the ends of the body pillow and flung themselves away. The body pillow pulled taut. Buford’s foot caught it like a tripwire, sending him flying into the wall and bouncing off the cushioning. A cheer rose up from the surrounding kids, cutting off as Buford surged back up. Isabella abandoned the pillow to grab Gretchen’s wrist, pulling her along. “Run!”
She threw them behind the nearest cover, chest heaving. She took a deep breath, forcing her pulse to slow. “Alright, the hard part is over. Buford is off the mountain and he no longer has an army. We just need one more finishing blow and we can take him out.” Poking her head out she scanned the battlefield, looking for anything that could give them the victory. “There!” she cried, pointing to the weapon they needed.
Gretchen followed her line of sight. “That’s perfect! But it’s all the way on the other side of the room. How are we supposed to get to it?”
“We aren’t. You are.”
“No!” Gretchen cried, clutching at Isabella’s arm. “I can’t let you put yourself in danger like that!”
Isabella grabbed Gretchen by the collar, pulling her down to stare her in the eye. “You listen to me soldier. We all have a job to do in this war. Mine is to go out there and keep the enemy busy and yours is to get that pillow! I know I’m not going to fall because I know you’re going to be there in time! Now, are you going let me down?”
“No sir!”
“Then let’s go out there and win this once and for all!”
Gretchen took off. Taking one last deep breath, Isabella vaulted over the barrier, pulling out two more miniature pillows and throwing them both in quick succession. “That all you got?”
Buford whipped around. “You’re going down,” he growled, scooping up the nearest pillow. Isabella threw out her last three mini pillows and took off. She scooped up a sturdy round pillow to use as a shield and a throw pillow, gripping it by the tassel.
“Behind you!” one of the other kids cried. Isabella spun around, bringing her round pillow up to block at the last possible second. She swung her throw pillow around like a flail, aiming for Buford’s unprotected side. Buford lurched out of the way and brought his own pillow – a massive memory foam bed pillow – down onto hers. It wrenched out of her hand. Having no other option, Isabella shoved her round pillow directly in his face. He flailed and she turned to run. Her foot caught something unseen under the fluff and she stumbled, hitting the ground. She pushed herself up onto her hands and knees, twisting around to see Buford looming over her, pillow held high.
“Any last words?”
“Yeah. How’s it feel to fall for the distraction?”
“What?”
“AAAGGHHH!!!” With a massive battle cry, Gretchen launched herself into the air, Buford’s long adandoned bolster pillow clutched in her hands. Buford turned just in time to see her swing. It hit him square in the chin, sending him flying through the air into the mountain. Pillows went everywhere, raining down over the room. There was a beat of silence, then cheers exploded from around the room.
Panting, Gretchen leaned down to help Isabella up. “We did it Chief.”
Isabella grinned, taking the hand. “Never doubted it for a second.” She flung their joined out up into the air, turning to address the assembled kids. “Buford’s reign is no more! From this moment on the pillow fighting war is over! This is once more and forever a free land!” The cheers got louder. Isabella looked over at Gretchen, squeezing her hand tighter.
Definitely what they needed to get over their book’s horrible writing choices.
~
“More tea, Miss Stuffkins?”
“Thank you. And may I offer you a scone, Miss Buttons?”
“I’d love one.”
Since they’d taken one of the proper hallways to get to the pillow fight room they’d opted to take the first crawlway they came across to explore. They’d ended up tumbling out in a room absolutely filled with stuffed animals. Isabella and Gretchen had cleared off a spot in the middle of the room and gathered up the most formal looking stuffies they could find. There was a teddy bear wearing a top hat and a bowtie, a bango-ru of a zebra crossed with a pig, a bright pink bunny with a plastic tiara superglued crookedly between its ears, a penguin also with a top hat and a monocle, and a cow in a purple taffeta dress that matched its sparkly horns. Candace’s Ducky Momo had been given a place of honor as head of the party, mainly because it was the largest toy in the place.
“I heard the Prince Enrique begged for your hand in marriage,” Gretchen said, tilting Mr. Featherplush’s head in Miss Button’s direction. “That makes five princes who have proposed to you, does it not?”
Isabella reached out with Miss Button’s paw for an imaginary scone “Only four, darling Harold is a duke.”
“Yes, however he is still the king’s favorite grandson,” Mr. Featherplush said, taking a sip of tea out of the cup Gretchen was holding.
“Either way, I am far too busy to even consider marriage right now, what with my writing career and my philanthropy and running the horse sanctuary.”
“I know what you mean. What with my speaking tour and continuing to hone my sword fighting skills and my painting I barely have time for everything.”
“Indeed. Surely there must be someone capable of being the chairwoman of at least one of the committees. Any you Ms. Snugglyboo? How fares everything at the museum?”
“Splendid, splendid! The new exhibit opens next week and people are already lining up to see it. And the educational tours are going marvelously. Ducky old boy, will you be attending the opening?”
“Eloquent as always. I shall save you your usual seat.”
Eventually the tea party wound down as the members were released back to their busy, highly important lives. Isabella and Gretchen started picking their way over to the entrance to the crawlway they could see across the room. Isabella’s foot kicked one of the toys and delicate music started drifting through the air.
“Hey look!” she said fishing out the small, stuffed sheep, fabric body curled up to sleep, eyes closed, stitched on eyelashes brushing over cotton cheeks. “It’s Lullaby Lucy!”
“We should take her with us,” Gretchen said.
“You think so? Ginger wouldn’t have volunteered her for the pillow fort if she wasn’t okay with her being here.”
“It’s not that. I just don’t think she belongs in the stuffed animal room. She deserves to go somewhere special.”
Isabella looked down at Lucy. The song had stopped playing but she could still hear it in her head, remembering the Fireside Girl’s first ever overnight camping trip, Lucy’s gentle music lulling all of them to sleep, safe in the unfamiliar wilderness. “You’re right, she absolutely does.” She gently tucked Lucy away into her pocket. “Should we go find somewhere to put her?”
~
The crawlway they’d been traveling through after finishing up their tea party suddenly opened up. In the middle of the hallway was a line of bedsheet ropes stretching up out of sight. The craft foam arrow pointing upwards next to them read Pillowcase Parachutes.
“Oh we are so doing that.”
“Race you to the top!” Gretchen called, already several feet up the wall.
“Hey, that’s cheating!”
Despite Gretchen’s flagrant attempt to stack the odds, Isabella managed to catch up by the second floor and overtake her by the floor after that. She was gracious about it, only doing a small victory dance. “Don’t mess with the best!”
Okay, moderately gracious about it.
“Whoa,” Gretchen said, peering off the platform at the ground below. “That’s a long drop.”
Isabella peered out next to her. A giant smile stretched across her face. “Isn’t it great?”
“You have an adrenaline problem.”
“You’re the one with ten separate Wresting Wild Animal patches,” Isabella shot back not looking away from the drop. This was going to be so awesome.
They hooked their safety harness into their chosen pillowcases and took a running leap off the platform. For two heart-stopping seconds wind whipped around them as gravity sent them rocketing towards the ground. Then their pillowcases deployed and their descent abruptly slowed until they floated gently down. They landed on a giant circle which immediately let a mechanical whirr and spun around, taking them out of the drop zone. Isabella looked over at Gretchen. “Again?”
“Again.”
Giggling, they charged back into the fort.
~
Isabella glanced around the crawl space passage they’d chosen. The whole fort was pretty dimly lit to start with but as they kept crawling, it felt like it was getting harder to see. “I think it’s getting darker.”
“I think you’re right Chief. We should take steps to make sure we are not separated.”
“Excellent point.” Isabella wiggled around until she was able to pull out her sash. “Here, grab hold, so that no matter what we’re still in contact.”
Their sash rope turned out to have been enacted just in time as the next blanket Isabella crawled past led into near pitch darkness. The thick, dark navy coverlet that made up that part of the tunnel blocked out the light, leaving them both crawling blind.
“Oh it’s deep and dark and kind of scary,” Isabella sang.
“And a traveler would do well to be wary,” Gretchen picked up the next part of the song. Isabella grinned as they both continue to sing together.
“But I’ve got with me my very own light. Because the Fireside Girl is twice as bright!” They both devolved into giggles.
“That’s always been one of my favorite jamboree songs.”
“Me too.” Isabella’s hand suddenly brushed up against a blanket hanging in the middle of the crawlway. “I think we’ve found the next room.”
Pushing aside the comforter she was met with a golden glow. She climbed out into the little alcove, holding open the comforter so Gretchen could get out easier. The room stretched up high out of sight and blankets were all blacks and dark blues, giving the appearance of darkness. There was a faint, crackling sound coming from the main part of the room. When they followed it they found a large fire merrily flickering away, a couple tucked up in a blanket in front of it. Behind the fire was a glittering expanse of stars, courtesy of a glow in the dark blanket.
“Candace?” Isabella asked as they got close enough to see. “Jeremy?”
“Isabella?” Candace sat upright from where she’d been cuddling. Jeremy waved. “What are you doing here?”
Isabella folded her arms. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Gretchen wandering over to investigated the fire. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Jeremy and I are trying to enjoy a date. So shoo! Go away!”
“The fire’s a hologram on top of a space heater with a mini speaker,” Gretchen reported. Well that at least reduced the chances of something accidentally catching on fire.
Candace let out a derisive snort. “Well, duh. Did you really think they started a fire inside a blanket fort?”
Isabella and Gretchen exchanged a glance. “I mean, I wouldn’t put it past them.”
“Yeah, you’ve got a point.”
Isabella glanced around the room again, taking in the uncharacteristically calm atmosphere for a room that contained Candace and something her brothers built. “So you’re just on a date? You’re not going to try to bust your brothers?”
“Don’t get me wrong, this whole thing is eminently bustable, but right now is my date with Jeremy. If Phineas and Ferb refuse to follow the winter break busting schedule I made that is not my responsibility.” Candace freed a hand to wave it in Isabella and Gretchen’s direction. “Now shoo, you’re ruining our ambiance.”
Isabella rolled her eyes. But it meant Candace wasn’t driving herself and everyone else crazy trying to bust the boys so she couldn’t really complain. “When you’re done with your date I brought sufganiyah; they’re out with the hot chocolate.”
“Sweet!”
“Do you know any other exits besides the one we came from?” Gretchen asked. “We already know what’s that way.”
Candace pointed at a forest green blanket on the other side of the room. “Yeah, through there.”
“There’s no bigger passageways, or otherwise I would have brought my guitar with us,” Jeremy said.
“Hey Isabella, do you remember our friend from our tea party?”
Isabella couldn’t help but stare at Gretchen. Ducky Momo? Gretchen was smarter than that. A Candace in busting mode was not a good thing. Gretchen stared back just as confused. Please don’t let this turn into another cupcake battle. She was having a nice day.
Then suddenly Gretchen’s expression turned to one of understanding. “Oh! Not that friend. The other one.”
“Oh. Oh!” Isabella pulled Lucy out from her pocket. She gave her a squeeze to start her playing before passing her over to Jeremy “We thought she needed a place of honor. What better place than adding some music to a beautiful night and roaring fire.”
“Hey, thanks.”
“No problem. Enjoy your date!” Isabella held open the blanket flap for Gretchen to climb through “You’re usually not that into that sappy kind of romance.”
“Sappy, excessive romance, not so much, but matchmaking is fun.”
“Does it count as matchmaking if they’re already in a relationship?”
“I’m standing by it.”
~
The crawlway popped out in another hallway intersection, this one free of any directional arrows. “What other rooms do you think there are in this place?” Isabella asked, poking her head down one of the hallways.
“Knowing them anything’s possible. You help with more big ideas, so you’d have a better guess than I would. Better question, how do we get back to the parachute platform.”
“That is a better question.” Isabella down another hallway, catching sight of the rest of the troop at the far end. “It’s the girls!” she cried, leaning forward to point over Gretchen’s shoulder the same time Gretchen leaned forward, pointing over hers and said, “It’s Phineas!”
They both reared back, blinking in surprise. Isabella turned to look over her shoulder. Phineas was standing at the end of the hallway. He caught sight of her and broke into a wide, beaming, perfect smile. “Oh, there you are Isabella! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Searching for you made me realize how much I need you.” A stallion ran up the hallway and Phineas swung up onto the his back, reaching down a hand towards Isabella. “I love you Isabella. Stay by my side forever.”
A hand on her shoulder. Isabella jerked back to herself, turning back to Gretchen. Behind her the rest of the Fireside Girls had caught sight of them too. Holly and Ginger waved and Katie and Milly were whispering to each other and giggling, while Adyson made kissy faces. Gretchen nudged her with her elbow, giving her a knowing smile. “Have a good time, Chief.”
Isabella glanced at Phineas again. Then back at her girls. “You know what, I will.” Looping her arm through Gretchen’s, she waved at Phineas. “I’ll see you at the hot chocolate station later!”
“Sounds good! Have fun!”
Isabella laughed as together she and Gretchen turned and headed for her troop. “We will!”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I’ve finally finished my latest one shot! Glitter bombs, missing royalty(’s pet), Candace’s eternal struggle against the universe, and Agent P in a silly outfit!
The current pnf fic I’m working on is kicking my ass and I’ve realized part of it is because I’ve accidentally created a Temple of Sap/Bee story situation where the girls have too much of their own thing going on to cut to them without shooting the pacing all to hell. That being said, I liked this joke too much to just trash it so instead I’m throwing it up here contextless. Enjoy!
~
Pinky the Chihuahua had found the glitter bomb. The numbers steadily ticked down as he studied the casing for any weak point. Nothing.
Okay, if disabling it was out of the question then the next move was to capture as much of the glitter as possible at the point of detonation. He saw some things over by the clown tent that could work.
Careful not to accidentally jostle it and trigger an early detonation he grabbed the glitter bomb and started running.
~
Above him the Fireside Girls had just reached the top of the main tent.
“Alright girls,” Isabella said as they gathered up in a circle around the tent pole, connected together by their safety harnesses, “does everyone have their part of the stoat tracker?” The girls all took one hand off the pole to pull out various pieces of machinery. “Great job! And I’ve got good news, I checked with Ms. Feyerseid and she said that we can count this as the last mark we need for our Coordinated Urban Animal Tracking patch.” The troop let out a cheer. “Now let’s get to assembling!” Within a minute the stoat triangulation device had been assembled. Now all that was left was to secure it to the top of the pole.
Just then a strong breeze snapped up, whipping the fabric of the tent. Milly stumbled and the stoat tracker went flying out of her hands. “I got it!” Adyson cried, arms outstretched to grab it. The fabric of the tent rolled again, tipping her forward and the tracker clunked against her head before landing in her hands. Adyson wobbled. She staggered backwards and thanks to the angle of the tent began sliding down. Being connected to the rest of the Fireside Girls, everyone got dragged down with her. Their mad slide ended with Adyson dangling upside down by her safety harness while the rest of the troop stayed braced at the edge.
“Girls! Emergency maneuver 12-B!”
“You got it Chief!” Together they pulled Adyson back up, Holly taking the tracker from her while Gretchen checked her over.
“I saw Pinky. He had a hat on and was running on two legs carrying a big, blinking box.” Adyson’s knees buckled. “Whoa. Head rush.”
“Probable concussion, Chief.”
“Right. I’m going to finish setting this up and then who wants to earn another first aid patch?”
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On the (online) ace & aspec community’s antiblackness, once and for all.
'Using this age old script of whiteness, ace and overall aspec communities weaponise the Mammy and the Jezebel against Black aces and aros, assuming and projecting sexuality onto us that we do not want, whilst also demonising the parts of sexuality we do want to take part in, directly or indirectly, alongside our romantic attractions, sensualities, QPRs and friendships. In online ace and aspec spaces, the white fear of Black sexuality is reborn with queer terminology in its right hand and a tumblr login on its left. Echoing James Baldwin’s words, the queer world still isn’t prepared to accept Black people yet and neither are the asexual or aromantic worlds either.'
'Eeriely, I now follow the very same path as Yasmin Benoit. An Asexual Jezebel, a somehow sexless sexual predator, who enforces Black sexual deviancy, the great harasser of innocent white children and the white sex repulsed, but also an Asexual Mammy, expected to serve her white counterparts endlessly, on demand, with no reward and no rest and a threat to white sexual normalcy and its sexual reproduction.'
'How many more? How many more Black people will be driven away because of this community’s antiblackness? How many more Black aspecs will we lose access to because they can’t safely be in community with other aces and aros anymore? Black asexuals and Black aromantics continue to be the bedrock of aspec activism, contacting MPs to include asexuality in their LGBT policies and pushing for legal recognition of asexuality and aromanticism, publishing reports on the anti-asexual medical stigma, raising awareness of asexual conversion therapy, pushing back on the capitalist and conservative control of romance, building coalitions with lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans orgs, creating artworks of asexual and aromantic representation and commentary and writing works on asexuality and aromanticism as social-political frameworks, to educate others and create an archive of our works for future aspec generations, like this very essay you are reading right now. And yet we are the most insulted, most hated and most neglected people of this entire online aspec space.'
... Wow I had no idea it was like that in other corners of the aspec world. What the *fuck*. I'd have imagined we'd be a lot better than that, collectively, by now.
If you're Ace or Ace-adjacent, you're A-spec, and that should be the only requirement to be under the A-spec umbrella with the rest of us. There is no reason being black, latino, amab, asian, disabled, autistic, adhd, ptsd/c-ptsd or any other HOST OF REASONS should exclude you from the aspec world. I have seen *all of these* used as weapons against the people we should be WELCOMING into our village, because strength is in numbers!
Exclusionists can chew broken glass, this shit is NOT okay jesus FUCKING Christ get a goddamn grip you infantile calivinist fucks.
Being a-spec does not inoculate you against bias and hate. Check that shit before it becomes the poison that the evangelicals use to kill us, or you become a fashy little puppet.
thing about perry using a walker or a cane when he's elderly is, he's naturally quadrupedal. it's been a strain on his body his whole life standing upright. it makes sense at a certain point it would become too painful on his joints and spine. but of course he'd stubbornly want to maintain it, even around home (with heinz), because walking on all fours is undignified, demeaning, being a dumb animal. especially around heinz (and vanessa, et al -- the people who exclusively know him as a full adult person, not a pet)
so i imagine he only resorts to four legs when hes alone. but obviously heinz thinks it's cute, wishes perry wasn't embarrassed about it. so he'd gradually do it more around home as they age together. and he'd gradually accept more hip/back massages from heinz (until its an everyday thing, of course. heinz fucking loves doing it)
(insomnia) thinking abt this eppy and it's actually that both heinz and perry are more feeble in the "good" future where they're living together (trust me): heinz owning an electric wheelchair, his arms visibly shaking, and perry with the more supportive walker vs a little cane.
and whether you accept this as the definitive future for them it's interesting thinking about them both accepting a future where they're together after years of mutual physical impairment and more disabled as a result but still happier cohabitating. and to the question of why they don't just fix up their bodies -- maybe they already did and they're past a point of repair via science magic, or maybe they just make peace with letting themselves deteriorate naturally, bearing the signs of one another's loving abuse.
As someone with some serious experience of living with someone with age/illness related physical disability/progressive impairment issues, there can also be a WORLD of difference between how physically impaired you are and how disabled you’re willing to accept that you are. You can need a walker but technically be able to get around for the most part with a cane so that’s what you use. So it’s also entirely possible that Heinz and Perry are equally impaired in both timelines but in the good one they’ve got each other looking out for them and as a result they’re willing to use the aids that best suit their needs rather than try to hide it in an effort to appear more able-bodied than they are.
