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@stridssongur
s t r í ð s s ö n g u r
independent & selective
est. 2021 — 7+ years experience
a warrior's code — thor ♦ þór — war ♦ stríð — discord

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official semi-hiatus announcement
when I am active, I will be focusing solely on thor, war, and my oc, valariya. tony only comes to me in short bursts.
Muse talking about the mun
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REBLOG IF YOU ARE HELLA BORED AND WOULDN’T MIND SOME CURIOUS ANONS.
stridssongur:
Thor knew, of course, that his brother would be blue in his true form. but to see the transformation— he did not know what to feel. his brows pulled down over troubled eyes so deep a blue that they resembled the raging waters of the ocean caught in a storm. this was not his brother. this creature before him—
he shook his head, forcing himself to look beyond the color, the lines, everything that made Loki so different from himself. the chill in the air called up memories of killing beings of the same kind. Thor clenched his fists.
’ aye, there you are brother. ’ no matter his internal turmoil, Thor would not cast Loki out— he would not become his father. ’ you deserve to know the truth of things, Loki, and so I must tell you I am struggling. I can not yet see you in this form, brother, though I know it is you before me. ’ his fingers curled tighter into his palm, nails biting into the calloused flesh. ’ if I were to tell you it is not disturbing, seeing you as such, it would be a lie. ’
Loki watched Thor just as closely as he watched him - looking out for telling expressions. He did find some, but his stomach turned as his expectations grew more and more realistic. So deeply he wanted to believe Thor would react positively, but his heart knew the lies they’d been told about Jotnar were too deeply ingrained for that. He wanted his brother to hug him, tell him he wasn’t unnerving. Expecting the worst didn’t spare him any hurt, though.
Disturbing. Seeing the other god for his true self disturbed his brother. Loki flinched and stepped backward as if burned. Fearful tears blurred his vision; in the past he would have turned and run, but he had to face this. No matter how much more it hurt to stand his ground in this situation. “Oh.” The silvertongue was nearly wordless. He forced a smile through the obvious despondence written all over his face, and quietly added, “I suppose I can understand - I think it’s disturbing and I want to get rid of it and I want to look like you and all the Aesir so I can be accepted fully.”
“I’ve always wanted to look like you so I could make your father happy. I tried looking like you; I did very bad things to myself so I could look and be just like you and I still failed. So I settled for wanting to look like everyone else and that failed spectacularly. Still, I continue to do very bad things to myself so maybe, just maybe, I can be beautiful. Nothing is working. I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I weren’t so hideous. I wake up, see my ugly and disgusting reflection and cry again. Rinse and repeat.”
failure. all Thor knew how to do was hurt and destroy. he would never amount to more than this— the fool responsible for his brother's pain. Thor's face broke open in such an uncharacteristic way, and he stumbled forward, hating the distance he'd forced between himself and Loki with his words. honesty— a coward's game, and well he knew it. to hide behind that shield as if he meant no harm, as if he wasn't aiming only to protect himself.
the fake smile upon his brother's still-blue lips was Thor's breaking point, he dropped to his knees, prostrate before his brother, and dug his nails into his knees. ' you will never be accepted by the Aesir Odin worked so hard to turn against the Jotnar. their acceptance isn't worth the dirt beneath your boots. ' War spat and shook their head. as if he hadn't caused enough hurt. Thor fought back the control over his mouth, War did not need to make an appearance in such a fragile situation. ' I am protecting myself from my guilt and not taking your feelings into consideration, Loki. I apologize.'
War cocked their head back, recoiling from the piss poor excuse of an apology. ' Loki, I am not the golden Aesir Odin wanted me to be. I am a painted face, a facade worse than any prank you've pulled. you should not strive to be more like me or look like me. you are so spectacularly singular that there is no one and nothing to compare to you. look at this waste of pale skin, this common straw hair— ' War tangled their dirty fingers in the tangled braids at their shoulder. ' he may be disturbed by your appearance, brother, but I do not believe I have ever seen you look more like yourself. the Jotnar are uncommonly ugly, but yet here you stand, small and lithe as you are in your Aesir mask, yet also the striking hue of a starless night bleeding into morning. —ugly? '
' cease this self-loathing, Loki, as quickly as you can, for you will not find hatred within me. —ah, you will not find hatred within me where it concerns you. you, Loki, are more kin to me than this oaf whose acceptance you so desire. ' War dusted their knees off and stood again, closing the distance between them and Loki. ' but that I had better words to dry these tears, brother. you are deserving of much more than this pain and isolation. '

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❝ i’ll ruin everything if you touch me.
i’ll ruin υѕ i’ll ruin тнιѕ i’ll ruin уσυ just like you said i’ll ruin you and i’ll ruin your ℓιƒє and i love you too much to ruin уσυ.
so i’m leaving. ❞
If I ever say that I need you, take it as the highest compliment
I can be (forced) to trust someone
can (trick) myself into loving someone
can (grow) to enjoy someone
but I never (allow) myself
to {need}
stridssongur:
’ t’was never you, loki, but your actions that were hideous. ’ Thor shook his head. He did not have any ground on which he could stand with such a statement. He began again.
’ I am in no fit state to pass judgment even upon your actions, as it were— for I am celebrated for my rage where you have always been cast down for even daring to speak your opinions. ’ He would never be able to ask for forgiveness for the years that he allowed this treatment of Loki. ’ do what you feel you must, brother, and know that father’s hatred has not been passed down. I will see you and I will remember you are my brother, no matter your form. ’
Instinctively, Loki turned away and began to walk off, once he heard Thor’s first reply. He had no energy to argue with the son of Odin. Even after Loki’s contract with his fellow Jotnar to bring down the Allfather, Odin’s words lived on. He only dared to turn back, a myriad of expressions flitting over his face when Thor corrected himself.
Vindicated and yet feeling no joy in being proven right, Loki just kept staring at the storms in his brother’s eyes. The new king of Asgard agreed the chaos in his own emerald gaze had been kept in chains just like Fenrir. If their conversation was already this out of the ordinary, he supposed his risk was a smaller one than he’d thought.
Taking a deep breath, Loki shed his Aesir glamour, revealing his true skin. Deep cobalt; every muscle traced with heritage lines; crimson irises with an unfathomably blood-red sclera behind them. His black-nailed fingers clenched into fists as he tried to stave off the temperature around him dropping any lower. “Now you see me truly, brother.”
Thor knew, of course, that his brother would be blue in his true form. but to see the transformation— he did not know what to feel. his brows pulled down over troubled eyes so deep a blue that they resembled the raging waters of the ocean caught in a storm. this was not his brother. this creature before him—
he shook his head, forcing himself to look beyond the color, the lines, everything that made Loki so different from himself. the chill in the air called up memories of killing beings of the same kind. Thor clenched his fists.
' aye, there you are brother. ' no matter his internal turmoil, Thor would not cast Loki out— he would not become his father. ' you deserve to know the truth of things, Loki, and so I must tell you I am struggling. I can not yet see you in this form, brother, though I know it is you before me. ' his fingers curled tighter into his palm, nails biting into the calloused flesh. ' if I were to tell you it is not disturbing, seeing you as such, it would be a lie. '
stridssongur:
to say he was surprised by the admission would be a gross understatement, he could scarcely remember a time his brother had ever sounded so vulnerable. a soft throbbing began in his chest at the thought of how long it’d been since Loki had sought him out for anything more than companionship.
’ aye, brother. no matter our past, I will always hear you. ’ Thor frowned and shifted, lifting a hesitant hand to curl around the back of Loki’s neck. ’ I am truly sorry to have allowed you to question my willingness to listen. ’ his stubbornness was certainly to blame for some of it, he knew. ’ please, tell me what is troubling you about a battle so far in our past. ’
The gentle touch gave Loki the strength he needed to confront the swarm of feelings and thoughts threatening to eat him alive. “I do not think about the battle. I think about what I learned during it.” He shakily sighed and gathered the bravado to look his brother in the eye while he voiced his emotions.
“I feel as though my Jotun heritage was never addressed. Your father had to face it when I confronted him, and wasn’t keen to do so. We, however, never even once talked about it. It is partially my fault, because I did not want to talk about it. I did not want it to be such an integral part of me, but… it is. I need to show you my true form, so you can see me for who I truly am. No glamours, no illusions, no lies, no facades, just the hideous truth.”
' t’was never you, loki, but your actions that were hideous. ' Thor shook his head. He did not have any ground on which he could stand with such a statement. He began again.
' I am in no fit state to pass judgment even upon your actions, as it were— for I am celebrated for my rage where you have always been cast down for even daring to speak your opinions. ' He would never be able to ask for forgiveness for the years that he allowed this treatment of Loki. ' do what you feel you must, brother, and know that father’s hatred has not been passed down. I will see you and I will remember you are my brother, no matter your form. '
"Asgard is not a place, it is a people." ~ Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
"My land's only borders lie around my heart." ~ Anthem: Chess the Musical (1984)
Asgard/Chess the Musical GIF Series
Asgard's Destruction/Anthem
Loki/Nobody's Side

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;
LOKI - THOR: THE DARK WORLD (2014)
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
stridssongur·:
’ lady you are not fat, I do not believe anything could make— is that the captain’s suit? ’
‘ i meant my ass looking big, and i’m happy about it! there’s nothing wrong with having a little extra to love, thor. ’ she pauses, looking down at her costume. ‘ it is! it’s my halloween costume. ’
' aye, there is nothing wrong with it. truly I prefer it. ' thor's eyebrows pull together in confusion before his face breaks open on a surprised laugh. ' would you believe I truly thought this to be the captain's suit and not a shop's halloween imitation? '
Simba began sniffing the other’s outstretched hand, his gaze going between the cape and the knelt form. Oh, good! He was okay! “You’re not?” Not a bad reaction considering it was a first time. Usually there was screaming and running when others found that he could speak. “Y’mean you’ve never ever spoken to an animal at all? Ever? Uh. You’re doing fine. It’s just like regular talking and you’re already moving your mouth like normal so the thus whatever that is is okay. I think.” Guess learning new words was on his end of the conversation. Big and unusual ones but still words all the same. “If that’s not blood then what is it?” A paw reached forward hesitantly wanting to touch the material though the little animal was unsure of what would happen. “It’s not gonna eat me if I touch it is it?”
@stridssongur
' truly I don't believe I've seen a beast speak ever in my life— no no that is not true. I spoke with the feral little beast called Rocket. he was an experiment, according to Anthony. are you an experiment? '
thor gathered his cape into his hands, letting it fall open and spill back onto the ground after a moment. ' it is not but some cloth. red for my family and for my name, not due to an injury. have you not seen clothing in this color before? it shall not eat you. '

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Don’t you know
That we are gods
Holy blood
Runs through our veins..
‘ okay, i’m giving you full permission to look at my ass right now, but does this suit make my ass look fat? ’
' lady you are not fat, I do not believe anything could make— is that the captain's suit? '