Strawbeetle

Whole song is kinda perfect for him but "I'm not proud of all the choices I've made for a lot of my life

Following the shadow when I damn well know that behind me is the light

But I've lied to my mother, I made people feel like hell

But I refuse to believe I have to keep being cruel 'cause I'm a coward myself" LIKE DAMN

"the blood in the water is the blood of my brother; We both learned it didn't mean a thing in the end if one was thicker than the other" in reference to faust and auron being non biological siblings with blood is thicker then water but it doesnt matter, it doesn't matter if faust clings to him being step family or not technically related because that IS his family, not the man he called his father but Auron was his family and he left him and hurt him because he thought itd spare him

Commissioned from the one, the only

drumroll please

@strawbeetlez !!!

There's something to be said about setting the tone with a childhood home getting flattened for an apartment complex (or whatever project was going up I don't recall exactly) and this concept of capitalistic expansion overwriting personal sentiment. In this case, the handprints in the driveway. What was meant to be a permanent fixture in a larger whole now is the small remaining piece.

Then there's the more prominent case of furniture! Everything in Clark's store is dated, which of course fits the visual styling of the Backrooms, but they make a point to drive home that its old shit people don't want and is out of style.

Capitalism uses incremental innovation as an excuse to sell you things you already have that are new, more fashionable, or allegedly better. And this happens faster, and faster as time goes on.

So my argument is that capitalism actually contributes to that sensation of slowly forgetting what things looked like, how they were, etc because of this acceleration. Like consider what Sony is doing right now contributing to the phasing out of physical media, etc.

This past year has removed me from much of what I love. I've felt distant from many of my joys and comforts. It has been a gauntlet of challenges and trials in my attempts to get back to whatever I had that felt so safe before.

Would it be the same if I made it home? Am I worthy of it? Have I broken too many promises, crossed to many lines, lost who I thought I knew myself to be?

I've gone in circles wondering about change, transformation, and death. The death of dreams, the passage of time. I've struggled to let myself go and see what's on the other side of it. I keep lingering, a self made ghost haunting my own mirrors.