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A while back I filed a complaint with the board of funeral directors against the funeral home that handled Charlotte's cremation. A quick recap - we decided we had wanted to turn her ashes into stones and they never ordered them, they didn't respond to my numerous phone calls asking what the status was, they didn't respond to my sister's numerous phone calls when I felt incapable of continuing to follow up on this because it hurt so much to call them over and over again, they FINALLY responded 3 months later that her ashes had never been sent out, tried to blame me, sent a teenager to drop them off, and then called 4 months after that to tell my husband that they were still there which was the final straw. I had already reached out to express how upset I was at all the mistakes they'd made before they called my husband (guess what - they never responded) and felt I had to do something official in response to that phone call because it was all too much.
I finally heard back with the resolution and the funeral home admitted they'd made a series of very bad mistakes, they fired the responsible employees, they received an official reprimand with procedures that need to be changed and what will happen if they allow this to happen to another family, and will need to send us a formal letter of apology. I kind of wish they'd just apologized on their own without being forced to do so, so that will be kind of a hollow gesture, but overall I'm happy with the outcome. I still CANNNOTTTTT believe they treated us this way, in the aftermath of losing our baby and the worst most horrible time in our lives but I'm glad they admitted culpability and will (hopefully) never ever do this to another bereaved parent.
something i actually just realized on call w some friends recently is how crazey it is that your online friends are as many as thousands of feet above or below u right now. like if you teleported to their location without changing your height above sea level, well your fucked in some way basically
How high above sea level are you right now?
0-250 feet
251-500 feet
501-750 feet
751-1000 feet
1001-2000 feet
2001-3000 feet
3001-4000 feet
4001-5000 feet
5001-6000 feet
6001-7000 feet
7001-8000 feet
8001+ feet
5,300 and change. So many Californians move here and find out they can’t breathe.
I had an OB appt followed by an ultrasound today and both were great. I’ll have an MFM visit to talk about the blood sugar monitoring at some point soon but my OB was really reassuring about it this morning. Little buds heart sounded great at the appointment. I came home, worked for an hour and then went to the ultrasound with Mike. She looked so good, I thought we were doing a growth one but it was too soon after the echo so this was just a wellness check. She’s yawning in the second photo and the third is her face head on, you can see her nose and one of her eyes, and she had her little fists up. She did two big yawns back to back. These appointments are so stressful but I’m so so happy when they go well. We have nothing next week but then after that I get to see her every week until she’s born!
My friend and I are visiting our other friend in New York this weekend, they both have 8 year old daughters. We visited the American Girl Doll store, had lunch at MoMA and saw the Frieda Kahlo exhibit and the Marcel Duchamp exhibit. Then we went to St Patrick’s and I lit a candle for Charlotte and one for my grandma. There was a mass going on, my grandma was a very devout catholic and the last time I was in church was for her funeral. I missed her and Charlotte so much standing there listening to the mass. I never pray but I prayed that somehow my mumma and Charlotte are together somewhere, and that little bud will get here safely.
Obviously I’ll get more info from my dr next week but I’m less spun out about the gestational diabetes diagnosis than this morning. It looks annoying but manageable. I have felt this whole time I wouldn’t get through this pregnancy complication free and the amount of control I have in this is actually pretty reassuring. I’m going to be sad not enjoying my nightly ice cream but that’s okay. Mike was also so cute, he texted me that he reactivated our Costco membership and bought a bunch of things for our new low glycemic journey lol 😍

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I failed the 3 hour glucose test ☹️ I have gestational diabetes ☹️☹️☹️
There’s some ambiguity as to whether you’re supposed to fast for the glucose test - my dr didn’t tell me to and the internet said to eat a normal breakfast but several friends said their dr told them to. Anyway I had yogurt and berries for breakfast and then immediately went to do the test and failed 🥲 so I get to go to the lab for 7 am and do the three hour test! How exciting for me.
This honestly counts as sexting to me these days lol 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Stars, Metric, and Broken Social Scene are playing at the end of the month in Boston and I want to go so bad but I can’t make up my mind whether it’s a good idea. I will be 7.5 months pregnant by then and it’s a Monday night at least two hours away. On the other hand, that is a Canadian super band line up and I’ve never seen any of the bands despite loving all 3. Tickets aren’t even terribly expensive. What would you guys do?
It’s seven million degrees in Massachusetts and I’m going to two pools today! And I have a great variety of seltzers and some cherries. Third trimester of pregnancy in a heat wave is not my most favorite!

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saying cats don't contribute to the household is slander: they do have a job and it's going into mystery crevices and collecting all the cobwebs on their stupid little head
I’ve been up since 4 am, too nervous about the baby’s echocardiogram to sleep. Thankfully all was good, her heart looks great and there are no concerns. My favorite doctor, the one we had the week we were in the hospital with Charlotte, was the one to review and come talk to us. I am like trauma bonded to her and she is an incredible doctor, it makes me feel better knowing she’s looking after little bud. I also scheduled my c section already for late September which feels CRAZY to have that on the calendar and know her (if all goes well) birthday.
I made plans to go to trivia with friends tonight and I am so tired I really don’t want to. I have canceled plans a few times this year with this group so I feel like I need to just suck it up and go. I’m sure it’ll be fun once I get there. I have dinner plans tomorrow with a loss mom I’ve gotten quite close to, and then visiting my sister and dad in LI for the weekend.
Perfect little face 🥹 she was so wiggly during the echo as usual, we got to see her stretching too. It’s really wild to see this whole little person inside of you doing things!
Tumblr has been pretty quiet on the bot front for me lately but my last post got reblogged twice by bots ☹️ I don’t think that has happened to me before and it feels so icky! I get lulled into a sense of thinking you my dear internet friends can see the things I post.
I am in a freaking MOOD this morning. Work is being extremely annoying, a bunch of stuff is going wrong and even though it's not my fault - like I'm literally not involved in any way - I am somehow in the position to apologize to the sales team AND this customer. Ugh!
I went to get a donut hole to cheer me up and immediately chomped the side of my cheek when I bit down. Infuriating!
I'm also reaching a point in this pregnancy where sleeping is becoming more difficult. I'm having some SPD/hip pain, I stopped doing lunges when I work out and that seems to help but my hips were so sore last night, I had to get out of bed a few times and stretch. I also had to pee every 20 minutes for and hour and a half before I could fall asleep :(
Not everything is bad, so let's change subjects to the good stuff:
I felt little bud kick on the outside for the first time last night! I wish I'd woken my husband up but she only did it a few times. Hoping he can feel it soon, he looked so excited when I told him this morning.
Little bud is a very wiggly baby in general which really is so reassuring. I had an appointment yesterday at the OB and something had happened in the morning that made me really nervous something was wrong but nothing was wrong at all! When we did the doppler she kicked twice and was rolling all around. We could hear her heartbeat and then she'd move away so it was kind of hard to get her in a place where we could hear for more than a couple seconds lol. The fetal echo is next week, and then I have weekly ultrasounds scheduled starting at the beginning of July for the duration.
My father in law was hospitalized last week with pneumonia. He had pneumonia right after he had the seizures and they had to sedate him/put him on a vent. He was hospitalized last Wednesday and by Friday morning was in bad enough shape that they sedated him and put him on a vent again, which scaared me very badly. Because he is in the ICU, we decided I shouldn't risk catching anything so I haven't been able to see him. He did well over the weekend on the vent and the drs weaned him off the sedation yesterday and removed the vent, he woke up without complications thank god. My husband went to see him and said that he was pretty confused/groggy which is likely a side effect from the sedation so hoping he seems cognitively better today.
I get to see my sister and her kids this weekend. And next weekend!
I have Friday off.
My kitties continue to be the cutest in the world.
Nearly 23 week bump, a peacock who is supposed to be in the zoo showing off, Olive being a cute little weirdo, my latest pregnancy obsession toaster strudels and a kitty snuggle pile.

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The roses in front of Charlottes bench are in full bloom! There’s not another rose bush in the garden that has this many flowers. Amazing!!
A house isn't a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail folded about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion.
Emily's Quest, by LM Montgomery