A house isn't a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail folded about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion.
Emily's Quest, by LM Montgomery
hello vonnie
Sade Olutola
almost home

Love Begins

titsay

oozey mess

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
will byers stan first human second

PR's Tumblrdome

#extradirty

Xuebing Du
art blog(derogatory)
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Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor

roma★

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@straw-robbery
A house isn't a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail folded about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion.
Emily's Quest, by LM Montgomery

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Some other photos from this weekend- roses and pretty purple flowers blooming in front of Charlottes bench and my duck family from my walk this morning. Yesterday we went to a brewery with an old friend of mine and her family and had so much fun. Today I had my walk community and then Mike and I picked up bagels and went to his parents house to look for my pregnancy pillow. His parents did end up getting to go to SD for our nieces graduation, Lisa is in the hospital until they get back so it worked out really well. She’s been texting here and there and seems to be doing ok.
We didn’t end up finding the pillow. All of Charlotte’s things are in my in laws attic, and we haven’t seen any of it since our friends took it all away since we were in the hospital. I was admitted the day after her baby shower and didn’t even have a chance to open any of her presents so it was so freaking hard to see all these gifts and all her little outfits and the crib we’d assembled and everything. We do need to start going through it and organizing. I don’t feel like I can decorate the nursery again until after little bud is born but we should at least sort out the newborn clothes and get the bassinet ready and diapers sometime in the next like 10 weeks or so. My sister said she’d come up and help- she’s excellent at organizing and I’d trust her to do it solo if it ends up being too hard. Not urgent but glad I have some sort of plan around it.
I was really sad today and my husband made this about our kitty Brie. I love him so much 😆😆
Things have been tough! I have talked about this a little bit but my sister in law has bipolar (unmedicated) and was in a manic episode for nearly a year. There was a lot of chaos associated with that, and we all tried so many times to get her help but it's very difficult to get someone in a manic episode to recognize that they're in a manic episode and so were unsuccessful. She cycled to a depressive episode finally at the end of March. She was staying at my inlaws, which had the added benefit of her being there to help my MIL with my FIL who had just been discharged from the hospital after being in and out of there/rehab since the beginning of January.
The morning of the anniversary of the day Charlotte was born, we woke up to a missed call from my MIL in the middle of the night, asking Mike to come over. He called her back, and was told that my SIL had attempted to take her own life. Thankfully she told her mom immediately after the attempt so JP took her to the hospital, she got her stomach pumped and was physically ok. She ended up staying for about two weeks and then came home. I have had a lot of really complicated feelings about this, sadness & fear for Lisa, sadness & fear for her parents who have been through just like a relentless barrage since last year with so many bad things happening, I was really upset that it was Charlotte's birthday that this happened on, it was all very confusing and scary and hard. We've seen her many times since this happened, and she was not really herself (unsurprisingly) but I was told that she was finally amenable to taking medication & was regularly seeing a therapist. She's had bipolar for a long time but was trying to self manage with meditation and exercise. So I was hopeful that she was taking the right steps to get help.
Mike's oldest niece lives in San Diego and is graduating from HS this week, so my inlaws and Lisa were all flying out to SD. For some freaking reason, Lisa was going to be traveling by herself. She missed her flight, got put on a later one but was acting visibly unwell in the airport, to the point where a nearby passenger called the police and she was taken to the hospital. I don't know if she stopped taking her medication or if she's not on the right one/dose but JP said she is not really connecting with reality right now, she's in the psych ER waiting to be admitted inpatient. I don't know if my inlaws are going to be able to go the graduation and that really upsets me. We're trying to figure out how long Lisa might be in the hospital, and if there is any gap, if we feel comfortable going to get her and having her stay with us until her parents get home. I feel so strongly that they should go, they deserve this little pocket of joy and their granddaughter deserves to have them there but Lisa is really unpredictable and I'm closing in on 6 months pregnant.
My little sister is ALSO in the hospital right now. She had a surgery a couple of weeks ago and isn't recovering very well, she's not listening to the dr when they say she needs to rest and she's doing too much. Consequently, she's landed herself back in the ER several times and last night was admitted. I'm also super worried about her, for like a hundred reasons.
I had been feeling a lot of like free floating anxiety after the anatomy scan last week. I thought after we saw her and were told she was good I would feel better but I've been having a tough time. Strangely I haven't felt anxious since we heard Lisa was in the hospital last night, like my anxiety has somewhere to go now so it's dissappated a little.
I wish I was napping as hard as Olive is right now

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Today was our 20 week anatomy scan with the high risk maternal fetal medicine drs office. I was so so nervous going in, I got a high heart rate notification lol
Little Bud looked perfect, everything is measuring and developing exactly as it should. She was so wiggly! I can only feel her a little bit, it’s really wild to see how much she’s moving around in there. She had her little ankles crossed which just killed me
We had an INCREDIBLE dr when we were in the hospital with Charlotte, so compassionate and smart, every single other dr we saw that week said she was the best and she really is. Today was her first day back from maternity leave, she saw us on the schedule and came in to see us. She had tears in her eyes 😭😭 it was such an emotional moment and I’m so so glad we got to see her today. Long road ahead still but today was a really good day.
First hot day of the year means kitty bellies are out
We went to Rubato, owned by Laurence Louye from this season of Top Chef and everything was soooo good. We really underestimated how long it would take to drive from Foxborough to Quincy so the order sat for like 25 minutes before we could pick it up and it was still super yummy! Mike ran in to get it and Laurence was there! He’s my favorite chef on this season, hoping he at least gets to the finals.
Sometimes therapy is so freaking HARD 😭😭😭
Brie Brie has such a little RBF lol

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“Baby goats in pajamas” by Heera Cha on INPRNT
I had a mole removed in February that came back with atypical proliferation so the dermatologist wanted to do a wider excision and make sure they got all of the sketchy cells. I thought it would be like only slightly more intense than the mole removal but it was a whole little surgery! I have a 2 inch incision with stitches I have to go back to have removed in 2 weeks, a pressure bandage I can’t remove or get wet and so can’t shower for 48 hours, and am on antibiotics. It was on my left lower back so at higher risk to pop the stitches, so I can’t work out for 2 weeks and am supposed to limit the amount I bend at the waist. ☹️
I saw this meme yesterday and it made me laugh because my tuxedo is the worst of our 3 kitties
Olive broke into my husbands closet while I was working out (I was using the 15 lb dumbbell we keep in front of the door to keep him out) and then while I was getting ready he opened both of the kitchen cabinets that don’t have toddler locks (the locks are there because of him! But these two are awkwardly positioned so we don’t have locks on them) AND tried to drag a bag of sweet potatoes out of one of the cabinets that IS locked.
Im facilitating a walking group for bereaved moms and this was my second week. I had seven women sign up, four came the first week and three let me know they couldn’t make it. Today one lady came, one said she couldn’t come, and the other five were no call no show ☹️ does not feel super good!
I went to my mom’s for the afternoon and it was lovely. She and my stepdad built a house and moved in in the fall, I got her a drawing of the house for a Mother’s Day present and she LOVED it. I also got one million puppy snuggles from her little English setter puppy Gertie.
Now I’m bed reading Once There Were Wolves. I have a mini fridge in my room that makes seltzers ever so slightly slushy which is a true treat. So all in all not a bad Sunday!
Here’s some bonus photos of kitties being so cute.
My friend had an extra ticket to see Stars on Ice last night and offered it to me, it was a BLAST. Alysa Liu, Madison Chock & Evan Bates, Ilia Malinin, Amber Glenn, Ellie Kam & Danny O'Shea, Jason Brown (who was so cute and fun!) and some other skaters I wasn't famililar with. If you were into the Olympic skating and its coming to your area I could not recommend it more highly. Tickets aren't terribly priced and it was easily two and a half hours, and so so so much fun.
Speaking of ticket prices, I saw Modest Mouse is playing at Treehouse in Deerfield in August and was like ooh that would be fun, Treehouse is a fun venue and I like Modest Mouse so why not? I clicked in to see ticket prices and the CHEAPEST were $260 a piece. That is crazy to me.
My pupils have been normal since Friday but they seem to be super slightly different today. I have an eye dr appointment Friday so I'm trying not to think too much about it.

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Two little daffodils bloomed at Charlottes bench 🥹🩷🌼🩷
I have been reflecting on what a great husband I have, he's ALWAYS great but I'm feeling particualarly grateful for him right now. Thank god nothing was actually wrong but I'm so glad he saw that my pupils were different sizes. What if something WAS wrong and we missed it and something horrible ended up happening? The neurologist said that that kind of symptom when it is for a stroke or aneursym goes south pretty quickly so god forbid I was having something happen, it could've been so bad. It's striking me as so romantic that he really looks at my face when he looks at me and picked up on a subtle little change like that.
We've had obviously a really challenging year and at times it felt really relentless. It's not really my story to tell but his family member did something on Charlotte's birthday that made an already very difficult day so so so much harder and I've been really pissed at her about it, as well as feeling very sad and scared about what was done in general. Because it's his family member, I was having a hard time talking to him about these feelings but I finally did recently and felt so supported and listened to. We're choosing to handle this situation differently but we both respect the other person's feelings and that means everything to me. It is also a good reminder to me that there isn't anything I CAN'T share with him, no matter what it is when I take it to him and we talk about it I always feel better after, even if we don't end up in agreement.
What we went through together last year proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he really has my back, he will ALWAYS be there for me and do whatever he can to help me and I will always be there to help him with everything I can. I trust him in a way that I have never been able to trust anyone, including myself. It's hard to consider myself a lucky person after everything that has happened in the last year but truly, having the right person as my partner in this life makes me so incredibly lucky and I love him so freaking much.