Fuck

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

Holy hell. The reminders.

me, when I see my favorite video game that’s a couple years old in the store priced at $10.99: it’s ok baby I know you’re worth more than that don’t let them tell you otherwise you’ll always be $60 in my heart ily stay outta trouble now

me, when i see a 15-year-old nintendo game in the store still priced at $60: why

why do teenage boys go through that phase where they just imitate female moaning noises

it’s the only way they can hear it

Passing as a neurotypical in social situations is like playing a game with rules you didn’t create and that you don’t know the objective of.