I hate that you still linger in my head
I hate that some nights I still cry before I sleep,
And that so many things still remind me of you.
The other day my breakfast tasted like burnt garlic because my motherâs mind was somewhere else.
I remembered the time when your love tasted like that because your heart was somewhere else.
See, I hate that I still think about you in metaphors,
And that Iâm writing about you again
For the first time in three months.
I donât know how to forget you
Like I canât forget the first shooting star I ever saw.
How could I? You were practically that shooting star, remember?
It was that time I realized I didnât want to lose you. And by some miraculous celestial intervention, you came back to me.
I know - thatâs not going to happen again.
I keep saying that itâs okay. That Iâm okay. And that whatever it is that happened between us is okay.
I hate it. I hate that I have to convince myself that you werenât a monster,
That I have to preserve the person who once loved me, but thatâs no longer you.
The hard truth is that I donât know you anymore.
The last time you talked to me you said that you bought more stuff for your apartment, that you cook now, and that youâre always exhausted when you get home
You wear suits to work,
And you were just in a business trip in Korea.
I saw your new pictures, and I donât think I know you anymore.
You changed, and itâs good to change.
Itâs just that I no longer connect with the changed you.
So this is the last time.
God, I hope this is the last time I feel that I still have too much to say to you that I have to let it out like this.
It is what it is.
You had to leave,
And Iâm living with the choice you made.
You are, too.
It is what it is.
My mother didnât apologize for burning the garlic.
She had to swallow it, too.
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
theartofmadeline
dailybridgerton
areudirty
turnnoffyourmind
stormborns
