I am not in support of the label bi-lesbian
This might come as a shock to some, but since I’ve noticed this label become more popular I’ve decided that I need to make this clear and set a boundary that if you are in favor of bi/mspec-lesbians that I do not want you to interact with this blog or me.
At some point in history, lesbian was a term that implied a behavior and not an identity, same goes for bisexual. I’m not saying that the term lesbian was never applicable to bi wlw, but both of our communities have worked incredibly hard to make bisexual and lesbian distinct labels and not descriptors of behavior which pathologized our attraction and implied that the “behavior” could be corrected.
The wlw community already has a hard enough time addressing biphobia and lesbphobia within ourselves, by reducing our sexualities again to behavior and not powerful and specific identities it makes it almost impossible to call out when we are experiencing lateral-violence. If bisexual and lesbian are basically the same we are losing the language to properly talk about our demographics specific needs and differences, and I believe those differences need to be recognized and in the right circumstances, celebrated.
I will not speak for bisexuals, but as a lesbian I need this label to communicate my specific boundary that my sexuality and who I wish to engage with does not include men. Lesbian as an identity that excludes men from my romantic, sexual, and otherwise intimate interactions with people is one that I need, and I am allowed to describe myself in this way. If you believe other people have the right to do that with their identities, to describe the specifics of their identity, then it is pure lesbphobia to say that lesbians cannot.
More than that, I see that this label has the potential to affect real life resources and statistics on violence that bisexuals and lesbians face, especially for bi women where the rates for domestic violence and homelessness are high. Without the language to address their specific needs, it impacts how resources are distributed. As someone who has worked in and is active in the field of Mental Health, Addictions, and aiding the unhoused, this is not something that I can stand by.
The label bi-lesbian and variants of that is also very loosely defined, over the past three years I have seen people define it in multiple incredibly biphobic, lesbphobic, and more importantly transphobic ways (often very trans misogynistic). Because of the rampant transphobia I have seen come from this label, the reactiveness and hostility that I have seen from its supporters without even a hint of being open to listening and caring for the needs of everyone else in the community, I am now stating a boundary that you do not interact with me. If you send hate, if you reply or comment in a hostile way, it will be deleted and/or ignored.
I understand that me posting this comes at the risk of harassment, but I need to set this boundary and show trans people, bisexuals, and lesbians that have been harmed by this label that I stand with them, and to everyone else that I won’t be silent as I see people act in the most careless and hostile ways in the name of inclusivity while they are actually running people out. I do not think all bi-lesbian supporters are bad people and I think this is a very difficult time to process so much different information about wlw communities, but I still ask that you do not interact because of my personal safety and comfort.
And before anyone comes at my throat, I am literally a multi-gender 2-Spirit intersex person. I understand very intimately the way sexuality and gender can be difficult and will not take kindly especially to cisgender or white people trying to explain this to me. I do not care if you block (in fact I prefer it if you are going to vague post about me), and I do not care if you unfollow. I care more about this being a space place for bisexuals and lesbians and trans people who are harmed by the label.
Obviously there’s so much more to this, there’s so much misinfo going around and different definitions and statements put out there as “facts” that it would be impossible to address all of it, but I really encourage you to do some real thinking and listen to bisexuals and lesbians who talk about how biphobic and lesbphobic this is.
