[Does a sick kickflip]

hello, walter white. before you is the bad. you have 5 minutes to break it or else it will be you, who is broken. im jigsaw

shoutout to people who make tutorials for things that are “obvious” or that people “should already know” thank you for your service

@leehttuce @theintelligentfool @hearties-circus

I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its inception. It was designed by disgraced Cirque du Soleil clown John Roosters, who had never seen a math textbook."

they should do a film noir set in the cambrian period

alien (1979) and aliens (1986) are two of the most powerful film titles in cinema history. like the first one? yeah its about an alien. and the second one? brother take a guess

being on tumblr desktop version is so fucking funny like girl i’m bloggin’