Wow what a nerd

Me:

[WARNING: LONG POST. I tried to format this to be easier to read but sorry if it’s still difficult]

Thank you to @useless-uterus for helping me come up with this

Have you ever wanted to play through the Bioshock series and get absolutely plastered? Here’s the game for you! (note: please drink responsibly and only if you’re of legal drinking age. Don’t try hardcore mode if you’re a lightweight. You don’t have anything to prove to your friends, you’ll just get alcohol poisoning.)

[OPTIONAL: Make cocktails based on the vigors/plasmids and take a shot from whichever one you have equipped when you need to drink]

BIOSHOCK INFINITE:

NORMAL MODE:

Take a drink

Every time the Luteces appear

Whenever someone hits on Booker

Every time you take a new vigor

Whenever you find a voxophone–the sample one from the vendor doesn’t count (ONLY APPLICABLE IN A NON-COMPLETIONIST RUN)

Whenever you find an infusion (if you have the DLC with all the infusions in the Blue Ribbon you can take a drink for every three)

Whenever you find gear (same rules as the last one apply)

Every time Comstock says something he knows about you

Every time your nose bleeds

Every time Elizabeth picks the lock on a safe

Whenever Elizabeth specifically says “Booker catch!” (don’t drink for any variation. Save it for hardcore mode)

Finish your drink for the ending

HARDCORE MODE:

Take a drink

Every time Elizabeth throws you something

Every time Elizabeth opens a tear

Finish your drink when you find all the infusions in the blue ribbon (shotgun another drink for the gear while you’re at it)

Every time the Luteces say something cryptic

Every time Comstock says something racist

Every time Lady Comstock is mentioned

Every time Daisy Fitzroy is mentioned

Whenever you find a voxophone in a completionist run

Every time Elizabeth picks a lock in general

Every time Jeremiah Fink strokes his own ego

BURIAL AT SEA BONUS ROUND:

Part 1 NORMAL MODE:

Take a drink:

Every time Elizabeth snaps at you to hurry

Every time you have to go off course to get to your objective

Every time there’s a samurai for no real reason

Every time Elizabeth opens a tear

Every time you get a new plasmid

Every time Elizabeth hints that she’s not from Rapture

Every time somebody lowkey insults Booker

HARDCORE MODE:

Take a drink:

Every time you close a vent

Every time Elizabeth says something heartbreaking

Finish your drink for Sander Cohen

Finish your drink for the radar range

Finish your drink in baby Anna’s honor

Every time your nose bleeds

Part 2 NORMAL MODE:

Take a drink:

When the mood shifts in the Paris scene (you’ll need it)

For dancing baguette boy

For any foreshadowing you spot while in Paris

Every time Booker talks to you

Every time Elizabeth says something she has no reason to know (for example make and model of bathyspheres)

Every time Andrew Ryan talks to you

Every time Elizabeth’s brain goes into puzzle mode

Every time Elizabeth’s strength stat doesn’t match up to what she’s doing (can’t kill someone with the skyhook my ass)

Every time she refers to Suchong as an ego-maniac

Every time she has a flashback whether or not it’s her own (or flash forward in some cases)

HARDCORE MODE: (please use a small cup for this)

Take a drink:

Every time Elizabeth says something heartbreaking

Finish your drink for the attempted lobotomy

Every time you knock someone out

Every time you die (only if you’re bad at stealth games but you’ll be drunk so it probably doesn’t matter)

Whenever you crawl in a vent

Finish your drink when you find your own dead body

Finish your drink every time you hear La Vie en Rose

Finish your drink if you die and you get a Lutece monologue

Finish your drink for the ending

BIOSHOCK

NORMAL MODE: 

Take a drink:

Every time you get a new plasmid

Every time Atlas says “Would you kindly?” (excluding his reveal at the end) 

Every time you get a gift from Tenenbaum 

Every time you find an audio diary

Finish your drink whenever a splicer yells “The bees! They’re in my eyes!” when you shoot bees at them

Finish your drink when Sander Cohen stops you in Fort Frolic

Every time you fight a Big Daddy (with a little sister. Doesn’t count if they don’t have one)

Every time Atlas calls you “Boyo”

HARDCORE MODE:

Take a drink:

Finish your drink if you activate the plaster splicers

Finish your drink during Ryan’s monologue 

Every time Cohen complains about something

Every time Cohen mentions his muse

Every time Fontaine talks

Finish your drink when Atlas becomes Fontaine again

BIOSHOCK 2

NORMAL MODE:

Take a drink:

Every time you get a flash from Eleanor 

Every time you find an audio diary from Eleanor

Every time Sophia Lamb threatens you

Every time you save a little sister 

Every other time you fight a big sister

Finish your drink every time you see an homage to the first game

Finish your drink every time you encounter a moral path (Stanley Poole, Grace Holloway, Gil Alexander–little sisters not included because you would die)

Every time Sinclair says something suspicious 

Every time you get a new plasmid

HARDCORE MODE:

Take a drink:

Every time Sophia Lamb says something about communism 

Every time one of the Wales brothers says something overly religious 

Every time Sinclair says something that makes you remember exactly how Southern he is, sport

Every time you get jumped by a brute splicer

Every time you wish Eleanor was a better written character

Finish your drink if you get the bad ending

Finish your friend’s drink if you get the very bad ending

MINERVA’S DEN BONUS ROUND:

NORMAL MODE:

Take a drink:

Every time you get a new plasmid 

Every time you fight a Lancer

Every time you find a vacuum 

Every time you fight a Big Sister

Every time Reed Wahl calls Porter a traitor

HARDCORE MODE: 

Take a drink:

Every time there are cryptic numbers everywhere

Finish your drink for the climax