Strange New Quotes

TOS

Jim: I’m going to lead the landing party

Spock: Of course, captain

Bones: What are you stupid? It could be dangerous!

Jim: Bones…Did you see the way the magistrate’s daughter looked at me?

Bones: Okay, fine. Go.

Bones: …Maybe I’ll beam down too.

TNG

Picard: Maybe I’ll just-

Riker: No

Picard: But I didn’t-

Riker: No… It’s my sworn duty as your First Officer to mollycoddle you at all times and I take that duty very seriously indeed

Picard: But… but I just wanted to do some archaeology and stuff

Riker, grumbling: Fine. Riker to Worf. Meet the away team in Transporter Room 3. You’re on babysitting duty.

DS9

Sisko: I think I’m going to go a camping trip on an unexplored planet in the Gamma Quadrant with my teenaged son

Kira: Sounds like a good idea sir, have fun!

VOY

Janeway: You, you and you…yeah you. Go down to that planet and do science stuff.

Chakotay: Captain…You’re a scientist and you’ve not been off the ship in a while. You might enjoy joining the away team and getting some fresh air.

Janeway: Nah… I’m going to the holodeck to do fun shit then I’m going to go and wind up Seven

Chakotay: ...Understood Captain

Tuvok: *dislocates his neck trying not to roll his eyes and sigh out loud*

ENT

Archer: That looks like a mighty fine planet

Trip: Yeah Captain it sure does!

Archer: Think we should go down there?

Trip: Sounds like fun sir!

T’Pol: We’d be best letting the survey team finish their work. There could be toxins or dangerous animals or-

Pike: Okay kids, who wants to go on a field trip? And I'll make pack lunches for everyone!

Everyone: Me, me! Pick me sir!

Pike: We'll all go, and let's make it fancy dress!

Pike: except you Ortegas, you fly the ship.

Enterprise - A group of idiots with no business being in space go into space while being babysat by a Vulcan who has Had. Enough.

Discovery- A group of idiots get high on shrooms then go time travelling

Short Treks- An Idiot Anthology

Strange New Worlds - A very handsome idiot takes a group of younger idiots on an interstellar roadtrip, while teaching them to cook. Singing is involved.

TOS - A vulcan and a doctor accompany a man known as a galactic fuckboy around the galaxy. Galactic fuckboy isn't really a fuckboy but more of a philosopher who's totally in love with the vulcan.

TAS - Galactic not-a-fuckboy and friends in 2D.

TNG - A group of educated idiots accompany a gentleman scholar around the galaxy. He's more of a fuckboy than the last captain but we keep forgetting this because his first officer is That Slut.

DS9 - A group of fucked-up idiots move to a space station with their space dad and add trauma and war crimes to their pre-existing traumas. And the universe hates on an Irish guy.

Voyager - A group of clueless idiots get lost while looking for angry idiots who got lost first. They then adopt a hitchhiker who seems intent on poisoning them.

Lower Decks - An idiot captain refuses to acknowledge that her ship is full of idiots, but she sure does treat them like they are

Prodigy - A group of kids want to boldly go and join Starfleet. Unfortunately they're borderline competent, jeopardising their chances.