Writing and Things I Like

I had to go back and read a couple of chapters of DIKY to make sure I was getting some information that had already been shared correct, but I may have still missed something. In reading, I forgot how much I truly love that series. Like, I know that I was the one that wrote it, but they make me so giggly when I reread parts of it because I enjoy it so much. Anyways, I hope this fits what you're looking for, and thank you for requesting!

Do I Know You? Masterlist (DIKY)

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It comes to you months after moving into the new apartment. It's late, and you’re lying in bed staring at the ceiling, reminiscing. You couldn’t quite get yourself to fall asleep. You couldn’t believe the way your life had turned since the accident. Gotham had changed your life. Jason had changed your life for the better despite everything. It’s not that you like thinking about all the terrible things that happened. Admittedly, it was scary to think how many times you almost died. Beyond that, you couldn’t believe how long you and Jason had been stupid. 

You had grown a lot closer with all the cards on the table. You hadn’t known it was possible to love him more. There were some things he still steered clear of. Things even the family tended to avoid, like when Jason came back from the dead. You still hadn’t braved yourself into researching. Once again, it felt wrong to Google what Jason could just tell you. All you had to do was ask. That was your deal.

 Jason had given you an estimated time of getting home when he’d called earlier in the evening. It was a slow night, and he’d let everyone else handle patrol to come home. That may be part of why you were still awake, waiting anxiously to cuddle him.

You shift on the bed at the sound of one of the windows in the living room opening. Slow and practiced, no alarms. Jason was home. You don’t move, knowing he had a bit of a ritual to post patrol even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

Into the guest room to undress from his suit, pack it away out of sight. This was followed by his own inspection in the bathroom to make sure he didn’t hurt anything without noticing. Then a shower, PJs already set out (a task you're happy to do every night), before he piles in to bed with you.

Jason: -cause i remember being really argumentative when i first came back. even after i started joining the bats for patrol stuff.

Dick: to be fair, it’s not like you aren’t argumentative now,

Jason: no- shut up, you know what i mean. like, angry argumentative. especially with B, i wanted to fight with him on everything.

Tim: i remember the first case you joined us on, you started yelling at him over whether or not he was pronouncing ‘rendezvous’ correctly, and Damian got so sick of you both he brought out a spray bottle.

*a beat*

Jason: when the fuck did you join this line?

Tim: … *incredulous* like half an hour ago????

Dick, casually: …shit man, we were not paying attention.

Tim: unbelievable.

Jason: what are you up to?

Tim: uh, well i was doing a solo case—that string of robberies in the Narrows? but that’s about finished so just gonna head back to the cave now. what about you two? are you together?

*a couple seconds of silence*

Tim: guys?

Jason: c’mon, he’s seventeen. it’s not like he doesn’t drink anyway,

Dick: yeah but we’re not supposed to encourage it.

Jason: oh boo, you whore. stop babying him, it’s boring.

Tim: what the hell is happening right now?

*a beat*

Dick, sighing: come to Jason’s apartment, we’re on his balcony with a bottle of whiskey i stole from Bruce’s collection.

Jason: mid-patrol drinking break, get your ass over here Timmers.

Tim: wait- seriously?

Dick: *snicker* yeah, come on, you’re close by anyway.

Tim: um. ok? i’m- i’ll be there in a minute or two.

Jason: it’s like granting a make-a-wish.

Dick: *laughs*

Tim: fuck off Jason.

Dick: just nobody tell Damian. if he’s the only Wayne kid not allowed to drink with us, he’ll be pissed.

Tim: that’s like, a main reason to tell him. and i’m surprised Jason hasn’t given him beer already, considering he let him try weed.

*silence*

Dick, softly: Jason, come on.

Jason: oh, grow up. i let him sip from my glass if i drink around him, fuck off. he’s my kid, mind your business.

Tim: i don't care; he's not the one invited to the older brothers' balcony time. fuck him.

Jason: *wheeze* this is- this is what it was all about, huh?

Tim: if you think little eleven year old Tim wasn't daydreaming about one day sharing a bottle of whiskey with Nightwing and Robin then you're an idiot.

Jason: *wheezes harder*

Dick, snickering: your dreams were so weird, man.

*clang*

Tim: here.

Dick: jesus that was quick- you are eager.

Jason: no, he's thirsty.

Dick: *laughs*

Tim: you got fuckin- deck chairs here and everything. is it not a security risk to hang out on your civilian balcony as Red Hood and Nightwing?

Jason: no, it's an intimidation tactic. Carol from the HOA finally cornered Red Hood to talk about 'Todd Peters, the prick from apartment 3B that should be run out of the alley' and Red Hood told her that Todd was an old school mate of his that was under his protection. so this is really just to rub it in.

Tim: no way,

Dick: *cackles* no he's- he's being serious. he told me yesterday that apparently she now believes that Todd Peters is bribing Red Hood for protection and is spreading conspiracy theories that he's robbing people for money in his spare time in order to pay off his debt.

Jason, casual: if i see her on patrol she always tells me 'you don't have to do this, Hood' and i tell her 'leave my frat bro alone' and then she scowls and storms in the opposite direction.

Dick: also Damian made her cry once,

Jason: -that too.

Tim: *wheeze* and this is why i forced my way into being Robin.

Jason: *laughs loudly* *glass clinks*

*liquid sloshing*

Tim: *sipping noise* *instant choking coughs*

Dick: *loud, long wheeze* that's- yeah this is stronger than the usual stuff buddy,

Tim: -jesus?? *more coughing*

Jason: you know- talking about you forcing your way into being Robin, that was the one thing i couldn't successfully argue with Bruce about when i first came back.

Tim: what, *cough* *slightly strained* the fact that i was Robin?

Jason: yeah, 'cause i didn't know that you forced your way in, did i? Talia told me that Bruce had replaced me, so i assumed he'd picked you. and i kept- *wheeze* when i came back, i kept trying to be all bitter and snide about how he'd fuckin- that he'd let another kid wear the suit when it had gone so badly for me, and it never worked.

Tim: yeah, i can't imagine that kind of argument lasting very long.

Jason: well no, because i would be all like 'do you know how dangerous this is?! he's just a kid, he could DIE'. and B would just be like 'YEAH NO FUCKING SHIT JASON, I KNOW.'

Dick and Tim: *twin wheezes*

Dick: *cackling* fuck, that's right, he didn't want Tim to be Robin either-!

Jason: i tried so hard to make him the villain in that whole situation, and it was just just completely ruined by the fact that he was just as devastated about Tim being Robin as i was.

Tim, still laughing: fuuuck, right, he did not want me there! i genuinely- i had to sneak in half the time because he wouldn't let me in the front door.

Jason: every time i tried to be mad at him it was just like 'this is a horrible idea!' 'fully agree with you.' 'what.'

Dick: *still laughing*

Jason: i had nowhere to go, it was horrible.

Tim: he was like... really scared of me being hurt in the beginning. i never knew whether to be offended or to find it sweet how much he cared.

Dick: yeah, cause' like, on one hand if it's offensive that he didn't trust you to stay safe, then it's great to see how much his trust in you has grown now,

Tim: -but on the other hand, if it was sweet that he cared that much in the beginning, then that man's affection for me must have died out so much over the years.

Dick: *wheezes again*

Jason: i remember- i remember confronting him in the batcave one time, and i was like 'if you agree with me then why did you let him become Robin?' and Bruce looked at me like he wanted to kill himself and just went 'because Alfred wouldn't stop letting him in here and i didn't know how to keep him safe without helping him'.

Tim: me and Alfred were the original partners in crime; he had my back.

Jason: yeah he was down there, and i turned to him all accusatory asking if B was telling the truth, and Alfie just looked me straight in the eye and dead-faced went 'and what are you gonna do about it?' and i was genuinely fucking speechless.

Tim: *laughs loudly*

Dick: that man... he's awesome, and i love him. but sometimes i do think he might be slightly evil.

Jason: *wheezes*

Tim: to be fair, Jason, you weren't gonna win any arguments about me being Robin regardless; because every argument you make against making another kid Robin is ever-so-slightly undermined by the fact that Bruce knew full well at that point that you were the one who had delivered Damian to Gotham 'so he could train under Batman and claim his inheritance'. so anything you said against me being Robin was completely hypocritical on your end.

*a beat*

Jason: ...ok, point.

Dick: *starts giggling again*

Jason: if you ever point that out to Bruce i am telling you right now we'll be doing Titans Tower two; electric boogaloo, and i am being completely serious.

Dick: *giggling harder*

Tim: damn, you guys get mean when you drink.

He loved places: his home, his bedroom, Gotham, the tower, his work, the manner.

He loved things: science, photography, mechanics, learning and studying, fighting… winning.

He loved people: his parents, his friends, Bruce and Dick and Alfred and Cass.

He had loved Steph something fierce. A burning passion that made him feel alive with every argument and moment of open honesty between them. He would always mourn what they had and what they never got the chance to keep.

He loved Bernard. He was so sweet and kind and so utterly entertaining. He listened to every theory Tim had and responded with a dozen of his own. He wasn’t a hero and he didn’t expect Tim to do all the hard tasks. He was beautiful and warm and- safe.

Tim also loved Kon.

Oh God did he love Kon.

His love for Kon wasn’t just born deep, it was in his veins and travelling like a steady stream throughout his body, making camp in his heart before moving on to explore again. It was a heat that would never burn, only warm the cold spots of Tim’s life.

He felt it in his finger tips as they ran across keyboards and stitched wounds.

He felt it in his lungs when he breathed in deep as soon as he woke up.

He felt it in his eyes when they burned from staring at screens too long or holding back tears.

Kon was apart of him. The love he held for the clone was all over him, in body, mind and soul. If he was left incomplete then Kon held the missing part. If souls were made of four parts then Kon must have been his direction.

Tim could never express any of it, never knowing how to string words together in a way that made them sounds even remotely similar to what he was feeling. He wasn’t never a poet, despite how much he had tried, and maybe that was why he never got to have what he so desperately wanted.

Kon would accept it, would take Tim’s love and hold it with gentle hands.

But Tim knew it wouldn’t matter if Kon held it for him because the weight was too strong for even a Kryptonian to bare.

Tim couldn’t handle the love he had for Kon.

He wasn’t using Bernard as a replacement, he could never strive to be so cruel.

It’s just that Bernard’s love was safe. Safe, simple and comfortable.

It didn’t tear apart his mind and make him feel consumed with the agony of endless devotion and the unstoppable urge to give and give and give and sacrifice anything and everything for the love that fuelled each breath and formed each word and made Tim feel so utterly inhuman he had to step back from the work he loved.

Tim was obsessed like a priest to a god.

Tim wasn’t a fool, he knew that he would go too far eventually. Be too eager to protect and defend Kon. To quick to act that he would fail to think. Be too smothered in the feeling process the rules he set himself.

He knew that one day he would get an opportunity to kill for Kon and he would take it.

He would break everything he stood for.

He would shatter his relationships and honour.

He would forsake his humanity.

And he just couldn’t let the risk stand.

Tim: *observing Dick being a little too close to Wally for a platonic friendship, and Bruce being very indifferent about this*

Tim: (in his mind) Oh yeah he’s definitely gay. At least bisexual. Guess Bruce doesnt care.

—

(A couple years into the future, the whole batfam in one of their many living rooms)

Tim: Hey, Bruce?

Bruce: What’s up, chum?

Tim: I just wanted to tell you that I will not go to patrol this saturday.

Jason: *putting his book down*

Dick: *leaning forward and focusing in on the conversation*

Damian: *Pausing his hand that was petting Ace*

Steph: *stops her scrolling and stares*

Cass: *already knows*

Bruce: *lowkey sweating*

Bruce: Why?

Tim: *not even looking up from his laptop*

Tim: Hmm? Oh, I’m going out with my boyfriend.

Jason: Hold up. Boyfriend?

Tim: *raising an eyebrow*

Tim: Yes?

Dick: Wait wait wait. You didn’t even— you never told us!

Tim: That I was bisexual?

Steph: Tim, I think we would all remember you coming out.

Damian: I do not recall you having told us such significant news.

Tim: I mean, I guess I never really.

Bruce: *clasping his hands together*

Bruce: Did you.. think we wouldn’t accept you? Why tell us now?

Tim: Wait, what? I knew you guys wouldn’t care.

Dick: Wha— what do you mean?

Tim: I mean, Dick’s out. No?

Everyone:

Jason: ..Dick, do you have something to tell us?

Dick: I— what?

Jason, sympathetic: it’s tough, isn’t it? to go back to Bruce after Dick almost adopts you. i get it, kid. i do.

Damian: …are you saying you’ve been through the same thing?

Jason: oh, yeah. i mean- i mean Bruce wasn’t presumed dead at the time, but Dick did try to adopt me a bunch back when i was Robin, so it’s almost the same.

Damian: i don’t understand. why was he trying to adopt you if Father was around?

Jason: …i dunno. i think i made him laugh once and he just made the decision to steal me after that. kept trying to sneak me to Bludhaven and hide me in his apartment. Bruce had to leave work early a bunch so he could drive up and drag me out by the hood of my sweatshirt.

Damian: *squinting*

Jason: yeah the constant changing was weird… it was like being a child of divorce where your parents are actively fighting over who gets to have you. flattering, sure, but tiring after a while. you have no idea how many times i had to buy a new toothbrush because i left mine in a different city.

Damian: …could you not just choose who to stay with for yourself?

Jason: well, i tried. i got mad at Bruce and chose Dick at one point, but Dick was like, twenty years old. i went up to Bludhaven and found him living in a one-bed apartment with a mattress on the floor instead of a bed and a bench dragged in from the street instead of a couch. he was eating noodles out of a ceramic vase. so when Bruce came to get me again, i just let him win.

Damian:

Damian, baffled: i fear you and i are not experiencing even remotely similar situations.

Jason:

Jason: yeah i dunno why i started talking.

*awkward silence*

Jason: …want a beer?

Damian:

Damian:

Damian: no?

Part 29

Get flipped idiot

Prev / Index

Dick: -worst part of growing up in the manor is the amount of time we all spent around Alfred for our adolescence.

Bruce: ...you all love Alfred, what on earth are you talking about?

Tim: no he's right, B. we pick things up from him and it's humiliating.

Bruce, exasperated: like what?

Dick: i went to London once for a case and i had to ride the bus while i was there, and a guy shoved into me and i instinctively called him a wanker because i grew up hearing Alfred call people wankers whenever they tried to cut him off on the drive to school, and the entire bus made fun of me the entire drive for being an American poser.

Tim: ...*snort*

Dick, betrayed: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE?!?

Tim: i am- i am! i'm just.... *snorts again*

Dick: fuck you.

Bruce: i don't think you can blame that on Alfred. he very rarely curses.

Tim: around you. Damian called me a 'twattish handlebar of a cunt' the other day, and when i asked where the fuck he got that from, he said he heard Alfred mumble it under his breath after serving drinks to one of the egotistical pricks at WE you had round the week before.

Dick: yeah- Damian gets the worst of it, because not only does he pick stuff up from Alfred, but he also picks stuff up from Jason that Jason picked up from Alfred when he was twelve, so it's like when you run a word through google translate a bunch of times and it comes back completely different.

Bruce: ok- Jason doesn't speak like Alfred at all, so i don't know what you're even referring to.

*connecting ping*

Jason: wagwan, sluts.

*silence*

Bruce: ...ok there is no way he got that from Alfred. you can blame all of your stuff on Alfred all you want, he's just like this organically.

Jason, confused: hm?

Dick, pointedly: Jay, where'd you pick up saying 'wagwan' from?

Jason, casually: oh, i knew some English kids in the alley before i got adopted.

Bruce, vindicated: see-

Jason: -also Alfred used to say it when picking me up from school as a kid. i believe it was a terrible attempt at flirting with my social studies teacher, who was his age and also British. why?

Bruce: ...jesus christ

Dick: case and point.

Dick: i still think it’s mean that you let Jason have the front seat.

Jason: too slow, Dickhead.

Dick: keep it up and i’ll press your eject button.

Bruce: do not do that- we’re supposed to be hidden right now, do not do that.

Dick: *groan* i’m bored. this is why we make Damian and Tim do these kinda jobs with you. speaking of- ‘s it lonely at the manor with the kids gone for the weekend?

Bruce: well Alfred’s still there, but yes i suppose it is odd. i don’t think i’ve really had multiple days with no kids in the house since Jason died, and before that when you were the only child.

Jason: did Dickie-bird go out like this a lot as a kid? sleepovers n’ shit?

Bruce: oh yeah, he was constantly in and out. it was hard to keep track of, honestly. i used to try and call him down for dinner only to be told by Alfred that he was in Star City, or staying with some classmates i’d never heard of before.

Dick: it got stuffy in the manor! i wanted to go out and talk to people!

Jason, snorting: ‘it got stuffy’ and it’s like, the size of a fucking palace.

Dick: well you would say that, being as when you were a kid you never left,

Jason: *indignant* w- i left?? i had to go to school every damn day! and patrol every damn night!

Dick: oh shush, you know what i mean. for social activities—and don’t say galas! because that doesn’t count, that wasn’t your choice!

Jason: i- *brief hesitation* i left all the time,

Bruce: chum, i love you, but no you didn’t.

Dick: *wheeze* clock his shit, B!

Jason, defensive: he’s not clocking anything!

Bruce, slightly amused: you were- Jaylad, you were a great kid, but you were a bit of a hermit.

Jason: excuse me?

Dick: *cackling* he’s- he’s calling you a loser, by the way.

Bruce: now i never used that word-

Jason: YOU WERE THINKING IT THOUGH!

*a beat*

Bruce: well,

Dick: *uncontrollable wheezing*

Jason, annoyed: oh my GOD.

Bruce: Jason, you had no friends.

Jason: I HAD FRIENDS.

Dick, choking: you didn’t,

Jason: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON—i was fine, i was a happy child.

*pause*

Jason: relatively.

Bruce, fondly: i’m sorry Jay, you know there’s nothing wrong with preferring your own company, but you have to at least admit that the only person you visited outside the manor was the very rare occasion of Dick letting you go stay with him in Blud.

Dick: -which Alfred paid me to do, by the way. at least for the first few years.

Jason: I-

Bruce: you had no friends. which was fine. …but you did have no friends.

*three seconds of silence*

Jason: i fucking hate this family.

Dick: *cackle*

Jason, indignant: for the fucking record- i didn’t like anyone you wanted to be my friend. it’s not that i couldn’t, it’s that i didn’t want to.

Bruce, conceding: that is also true; i used to try to encourage you to talk to your classmates and you’d tell me you’d rather drink hot oil.

Dick: genuinely what was your problem?

Jason: do you know how annoying kids my age used to be back then??

Dick, pointedly: yes.

*a beat*

*scrabbling, shuffling, smacking sounds*

Bruce: do not- DO NOT- STOP CLIMBING OVER-

Dick: *thud* ack-

Jason: fuckin- not so tough now i’m back here with you, huh? OW-

*thud, smacking, more shifting sounds*

Dick: get your- FUCKING FOOT out my FACE-

Bruce: stop it- don’t make me come back there! JASON- take his head away from the window before you smash it!

Jason: i’m trying to smash it,

Dick: OW- OW THAT’S MY HAIR-

Bruce: LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE. fuck- that’s the guy we’re waiting for,

Jason: DON’T PINCH MY NECK??

Dick: you have mud all over your fucking boots—you were getting it on my face!

Jason, smugly: how do you know it’s mud? how do you know i didn’t tread in dog shit?

Dick: EUGH!?! I’LL KILL YOU-

Jason: *evil cackle*

*more fighting sounds*

Bruce: oh for- OK THAT IS IT. I’M DRIVING. IF YOU’RE STILL FIGHTING WHEN WE GET TO THE BASE THEN I’M LEAVING YOU OUTSIDE FOR THE FIGHT.

*car revving*

Dick, as Alfred walks into the Batcave, seeing him, Duke, and Tim lounging around the Batcomputer: i dunno guys, he's pretty tetchy about people contacting him while he's taking time off on the Outlaw island.

Tim: well we need his input on this, so he doesn't have much of a choice.

Duke: get Damian or Cass down here, he's more likely to pick up if one of them calls.

Alfred: everything alright, children?

Tim, spinning in the chair: oh- hey! Alfred! can you do us a favour and call Jason for us so we can-

Alfred: i'm afraid, Master Timothy, that i pride my relationship with Jason on being fairly active precisely because i don't get involved with schemes like that.

Tim: *throws his head back, groaning*

Alfred, as he moves over to start checking the medical supplies: i'm sure you'll figure things out on your own.

Duke: ok well we'll just have to figure out who of the three of us he's most likely to answer then.

Dick: well i mean- look, guys, he loves you, but i'm his big brother. we drink together, we talk, we're part of the older crew. i'm obviously closest to him.

Duke, flatly: do you actually think he hasn't drank with us as well?

Dick:

Dick: well that's irresponsible.

Tim: yeah so are the stories he's told us about you providing him with beer when he was thirteen-

Dick, loudly: OK MOVING ON-

Tim: look i'm just saying, you aren't the only one he has a long history with. i met him a bunch before he died too, you know. you're the annoying big brother from when he was a kid! I'm the one here closest to him in age, and- Duke didn't even know him until after he came back from the league! i have an edge on both of you.

Duke: *squints*

Dick, face flat: yeah- hey Tim? for the record, him knowing more of you really does not equal him liking you more.

Tim, voice dropping an octave: the fuck's that supposed to mean?

Duke, staring at Tim in bafflement: you know i knew Jason before you ever met him, right?

Dick and Tim:

Dick and Tim, in unison: what?

Duke: ...? guys i grew up in the Narrows, that's like, right next to the alley.

Dick: ...you knew each other?

Duke: yeah??? he helped my mom when she dropped her groceries once and she invited him in for iced tea as a thank you; we just kept running into each other after that. he and my mom really got along so she practically took him in once she realised his parents weren't around; he was my brother way before he was either of yours.

Dick and Tim: *baffled*

Dick: how the fuck do we not know about this???

Duke: i dunno, it didn't seem relevant? i stopped seeing him around after he got snatched up by the rich society and then i found out he was dead, which sucked but i had my own things going on at the time, and then when he came back to Gotham and we figured out he was him we were just like... cool. reunion. and we moved on.

Dick: and you just moved on???

Duke: *shrugs*

Tim, scoffing: can't have been that close then--he was an asshole before he died anyway. not that he isn't an asshole now, but you know what i mean. he was an ass, right?

Duke: uh, no? he was actually really sweet. always kept an eye on me when i was playing outside, helped my mom and dad whenever he could. taught me how to fix our TV once, and helped me nurse a bird back to health when we found it with a broken wing.

Tim:

Tim: unbelievable.

Duke: what? you knew him before he died too, right? was he... not nice to you?

Tim:

Tim: no, he was great. i don't know what you're talking about. we were thick as thieves. fuck you.

Dick, raising an eyebrow: dude you used to follow him around galas like a Pomeranian with separation anxiety. i watched him lock himself in a broom cupboard just to get away from you.

Tim: OK CAN WE MOVE ON-

Duke, snickering: it's ok, he loves you now.

Tim, mocking: does he?

Duke: yeah. i mean, not enough to pick up the phone, but enough.

Tim: ok well fuck you he doesn't pick up the phone for you either.

Duke: he just doesn't like phone calls, he never has! we had walkie-talkie's once; he left his in a chicken coop to get shat on by birds so he wouldn't have to answer me. face it, we're probably better off just waiting for him to get back from vacation so we can talk to him in perso-

Steph, coming down from the manor, phone to her ear: -yeah, it was totally insane, i never saw it coming. fun episode though. hold on, *lowers phone, looking over the railing to Alfred* hey, Alfie, where'd you put the vacuum? i spilt chip crumbs all over my carpet.

Alfred: in the third maintenance closet on the first floor, dear.

Steph: thank you! *back into the phone as she leaves* anyway, Jason, when you get back we have to do another movie night, because i have this theory that-

Dick, Tim, and Duke, watching her leave: *silent*

*continued silence*

Dick, dryly: so when'd Jason meet her?

pairing: jason todd x reader

summary: when you get the call from dick that jason is in the hospital, your whole world stops spinning and nothing- nothing- could tear you away from his side

word count: 3.4k

warnings: mentions of injuries and surgery, hospitals, slight angst

Bruce had to have dragged Jason kicking and screaming to get him to go to the hospital. Or, more likely, his unconscious body.

In the entire time you had been together with Jason, he had never once allowed himself to go to the hospital for any injuries sustained on missions or patrol. At the very most, he had one time stayed overnight at the manor to allow Alfred to look after him, but even that had only been decided after a huge hissy fit had been thrown.

So, when you had gotten a phone call from a frantic Dick Grayson at nearly three in the morning, words like ‘hospital’, ‘bad accident’, and ‘come now’ spewing from his lips ways you couldn’t even hope to keep up with, you didn’t hesitate to hurl yourself from the warmth of your bed.

baffled, everybody else watches as Damian looks up from his book in a bewildered fashion, gradually turns from confused to sceptical, and asks, “…Why, what’d you do?”

“I may have accidentally blown up another helicopter.”

Damian takes this in calmly. “Twenty dollars.” He demands. The masked teenager squints.

“Five.”

“Twenty.”

“Ten.”

“Twenty.”

“Eleven.”

“Nineteen.”

“Fifteen.”

“Seventeen.”

“Done.”

Damian takes the money from the older boy and then causally turns to Bruce before telling him, “Father, this is my eighteen year old half-brother, Hood. he struggles with paranoia and is slightly mentally unstable from being submerged in the lazarus pit while young, which is why he keeps his name and face confidential from everybody other than our immediate family on our mother’s side. if Mother calls, please tell her Hood has been staying with us for the weekend.”

the rest of the bats are completely indignant, but Hood just considers Damian’s words for a few seconds and then resigns himself to, “Yeah, guess that’s fair.” and doesn’t deny anything, baffling them even more.

and that’s how the Waynes become acquainted with Hood, the probable-pyromaniac-definite-bad-influence older brother that, as it becomes increasingly clear the more he comes around, Damian adores with his whole heart. it’s also how it becomes a semi-regular occurrence that Damian’s older brother runs to the manor to demand refuge and plausible deniability from whatever bullshit he’s done at the league that Ra’s 100% knows he did but can’t fucking prove, at which point Hood will just hide with the Waynes for a few days, masked up 24/7, running around with Damian and causing chaos, confusing the fuck out of everybody because this is the first time they’ve ever been able to see Damian indulge in a genuine childhood sibling-dynamic and it knocks the bats off their feet Every Fucking Time. the only time that boy ever acts like a child is when Hood comes to visit and it both infuriates Dick and Tim, fills them with jealousy, and makes them oddly relieved to know that underneath that weird victorian-boy shell, there’s an actual modern-day child somewhere in there.