eli!

we need more charden fanfics fr. i'm getting a little feral about it.

so, i've been obsessed with stiles since i was twelve??? (I know that saying that I'm obsessed with someone - and especially a fictional character - is completely weird, but I hope you've extended my point of view here ) he stays in my mind like glue, honestly. even though i don't watch teen wolf anymore stiles is still on my mind. there's so much about this character that I can relate to that it's insane. constantly, I find myself relating things to it. like a song, a movie, a book ( when I feel ashamed of myself and I struggle to read more than three pages). and if I'm honest with myself, even "silly things". like an animal, an object or a color. I was talking to a friend about this once (which is really interesting because for some reason talking about my obsession with this specific fictional character is really hard for me) and he said I have "the vibes of an autistic person" or something like that. which I can agree with, because I'm very aware of autism in general although I am not diagnosed and do not want to self-diagnose. but as the years have passed, it has become difficult for me to accept that I am not letting this character go. I feel deeply connected and understood. What I believe is about a part from my pre-teen years that I haven't gotten over yet. and that's a bit humiliating for me. I hit a part of me, actually. but somehow it's really interesting how things like this can be part of you, "explain you", justify. like "your comfort character acts and thinks this way so you should be similar to them" . but more deeply when that same character saved you from a phase extremely bad, and now it feels comfortable to you even though you don't need it (or maybe you do, you just don't understand it very well). and indeed, "you two look the same."

Stiles lets Peter get closer. only because he needs to feel some kind of warmth to feel human. if Peter is getting any closer than necessary - his arm just inches from his. skin on skin in an electric sensation that makes Stiles shiver from head to toe. - he doesn't comment.