remain nameless

A collection of alternate Game of Thrones names that my phone has decided to invent, taken from my twitter account today.

Cutting all of the Ironborn out of this season, including Asha Greyjoy when she is already in the North from being chased off by a few dogs this season and therefore a pre-Kingsmoot Deepwood Motte could make sense, but declining that opportunity.

Cutting Arianne Martell and replacing her with Ellaria Sand and the Sand Snakes which are universally despised by show watchers, as well as mischaracterising Ellaria Sand, one of the most vehemently anti-revenge characters, as one of the most vengeful characters of the series.

Consequentially causing Trystane Martell to be the heir to Dorne as Quentyn Martell is also cut, (which possibly removes the “sun setting in the east” part of Daenerys’ prophecy) effectively placing a male character in a female character’s place, as well as having him take another female character’s role by taking Nymeria Sand’s place on the small council.

Consequentially causing Dorne to be the most despised place amongst viewers and characterising it as the “funny foreign country” which appears to have no future purpose and exists only so Jaime and Bronn can meet the funny hyper-sexual foreigners and have an awfully choreographed fight scene. 

Cutting Jon Connington and Young Griff from the series completely, when Young Griff is such an important plot point that ADWD literally ends with Varys asserting Young Griff’s claim on the throne.

Cutting Wyman Manderly as well as literally every other Northern lord and removing any political tension in the North.

Cutting Lady Stoneheart and placing all of her “revenge” on Sansa Stark.

Having Sansa Stark fulfil Jeyne Poole’s role and making her arc and characterisation suffering instead of resistance, and stripping her of her defining compassion and empathy.

Keeping the rapes and tortures of Theon Greyjoy and the wife of Ramsay Bolton as the only aspect of the Winterfell storyline that remains the same between the novels and the television adaptation.

Effectively making Ramsay Bolton the main character of the show and sacrificing the characterisations and core themes of many POV characters’ storylines in expense of his.

Destroying the emotional resonance that Brienne of Tarth experiences when she kills for the first time by characterising her as a murderous and apathetic “tough female warrior”, despite her actually having a less active role by simply camping outside of Winterfell instead of actively searching the Riverlands for Sansa Stark.

Having the Riverlands and Iron Islands seemingly not exist for the entirety of the season and removing any conflict there, instead sending the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard on a solo rescue mission to Sunspear.

Again having Jaime Lannister’s character becoming completely inconsistent, leading the viewers and show to define his character solely by his incestuous relationship.

Cutting half of Cersei Lannister’s prophecy for no real reason, and presenting her as a character that the audience should empathise with despite her character being completely changed and inconsistent.

Making Cersei’s love for her children more of a strong attribute rather than having her see her children as more of a symbol of revenge, as well as defining motherhood as a weakness and strong parental feelings only being experienced by mothers, as shown by the depictions of Karsi and Selyse Florent.

Having Loras Tyrell being a walking gay stereotype instead of going to break the siege of Dragonstone.

Having Margaery Tyrell being arrested because of false testimony when the only evidence present for the situation was Loras’ squire seeing a birthmark on his behind.

Having religion being presented as wholly evil and vilifying the Faith Militant using modern day issues instead of being presented as one of the only organisations that cares about the smallfolk, as well as the vilifications of Melisandre and Stannis Baratheon.

Having Stannis Baratheon consent to sacrificing his only heir in order to take one castle because he had low supplies, completely vilifying him to the audience and effectively making him the worst parent in the series after Craster.

Having Davos Seaworth not go to Skagos because Rickon Stark has completely forgotten about.

Cutting Bran Stark from the entire season.

Sacrificing Jon Snow’s prowess in leadership skills in order to create a battle scene.

Not having Samwell Tarly go to Oldtown and effectively contributing nothing to the storyline except saving Gilly from a non-canonical attempted rape.

Olly.

Having Arya Stark’s storyline being devoid of any real themes or characterisation.

Removing any questionable motives or actions from Tyrion Lannister’s storyline and making him simply sullen instead of having a burning hatred.

Having Tyrion meeting Daenerys early as it “creatively made sense as [you] wanted it to happen”.

Killing off Barristan Selmy.

Having Daenerys Targaryen do nothing but spout meaningless rhetoric and appear stoic in order to make her seem “badass” to the auidence, draining her of any real character.