Tip Your Waitress

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

w-what if potato is actually lucky

haha hey i love the blood dripping from your face and the animal rage in your eyes whats your pronouns

So as an Antarctic expert I need to add to this that we had not in fact been to Antarctica when it was named. The ancient Greeks decided that because there was an Arctic at the top of the world, with bears, there had to be an opposite at the other end, without bears. Which is kind of ridiculous except that the fuckers were dead on

Imo it's way too hard to fake your own death nowadays

We have social media now. Everyone’s much more focused on faking their own life.

Damn that's deep. #society

my tits are too pretty for this. for all these agonies.

I am totally willing to accept unexplained light sources in movies if that means those movies won't be dark as fuck for the 90+ minutes they run

The light! Comes! From! The same! Place! As! The music!

Can someone please translate this I feel like it’s important

“look: i’m a sphinx”

you’re right that was important

they should invent a myself that isn't at its limit

Gaslighting makes so much more sense now

*me reaping* i know i for sure did not sow this much no way all this was me

I love holding doors open for men. I love what it does to them.

foster’s home for lonely dudes who get no bitches and stack no paper