Dying.

We do need reassurance.

We need to know that you want to talk to us. We need to know you want to see us. We need to know you don’t hate us. We need to know we aren’t annoying you. We need to know we aren’t making you unhappy. We need to know it’s okay to trust you with our emotions. We need to know you aren’t leaving. We need to know you still care. We need to know that you want to be here.

We grew up learning that the things we thought were wrong. We learned to stay quiet. We learned to be “low-maintenance”. We learned to put everyone else first. We learned not to make eye contact. We learned to wait and see if we’d be screamed at or treated kindly this time. We learned to shrink down. We learned our opinions weren’t valuable. We learned that talking about our feelings was bad. We learned that if we weren’t good enough we would be left or hurt.

Please be patient. We know we’re being inconvenient when we ask you for the millionth time if you still like us, or if every little thing we do is okay, but please remember we are struggling too.

It doesn’t take long to say, “No, don’t worry you’re okay.” “I care about you.” “I want to see you.” “It’s okay.” “I’m here.” “You’re safe.”

Please don’t come into our lives and make promises of not being bothered if you can’t handle constantly reassuring us. Please don’t tell us to trust you and then leave.

2009: wow I was so stupid last year

2010: wow I was so stupid last year

2011: wow I was so stupid last year

2012: wow I was so stupid last year

2013: wow I was so stupid last year

2014: wow I was so stupid last year

2015: wow I was so stupid last year

2016: wow I was so stupid last year

2017: wow I was so stupid last year

2018: wow I was so stupid last year