★ 𝐁𝐔𝐆 ★

Very bothersome. Very concerning.

And of course, fiction is fiction. You can explore kinks in fics without being a weirdo irl. Is that a sufficient disclaimer? I absolutely suck at speaking about topics like this. Not here to offend anyone.

HOWEVER. I've seen too many women CONVINCED that they have to bend over backwards to make a man stay with them, love them, cherish them. CONVINCED that pain is okay if it's for love. Because love is more valuable if you earn it.

WRONG. DING DING DING. YOU DO NOT WORK FOR LOVE. YOU DO NOT WORK FOR A MAN'S APPROVAL.

Once you meet a man that is genuine and good and loving, then you work WITH the man to uphold the relationship TOGETHER. You do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT work to make HIM stay. He is not "the prize" BECAUSE YOU ARE THE PRIZE. You're both supposed to be the prize! It's a mutual thing!! Girls please please please understand this!!!

I ran into a text post from what I assume is a kink blog the other day and it really made me stop for a second and stare. I need to find it and add it to the post, because it was excellent commentary (even if it wasn't the original poster's intention. Which, maybe it was? Man i gotta find this post).

I am so tired. We persist. So I don't lose my thought.

The post was like, a male saying something like "oh wow, she's letting me do this to her? What a slut" and the female was just happy to be there essentially. The disrespect is loud. Ringing, even. Echoing.

Where am I going with this? How is this related?

The rise of cervix focus in fanfiction (especially written by women) ties back to those expectations and disrespect. Again, totally fine to have certain kinks. (Consent is VITAL regardless). But pain is not a general goal. Pain is not ok. You deserve to be loved without pain. You deserve to receive pleasure without pain. The fact that cervix fucking is so mainstream in fics, without acknowledging ANY of the very painful real-life consequences? Terrifying! It makes readers believe that it's something that they SHOULD enjoy, because it's so normal. Guys, no! It's NATURALLY PAINFUL, not naturally enjoyable!!

Also men CAN control themselves. They understand boundaries (try stealing a man's car keys, they know what 'no' means). They can control their penises to NOT hurt you. They can control the ANGLE, the force, the pace. No, he was not "lost in pleasure", he likes watching you be in pain. He likes watching you cry. That is not a safe man. That is not the man for you. You deserve it all painlessly, and it's the BARE MINIMUM. Actually. Screw that. It's not the bare minimum. It's common decency!! Hell. Even the manly men mister patriarchy males, with their traditions, say that a man should "protect his woman". Keep her safe. THAT INCLUDES SEX AND LOVE.

Going back to the cervix point. I think one point writers are trying to convey with that is that you're "really full". Of cock. Like deep sex. Deepest. Join our bodies and souls type shit. And again I say it can be done painlessly!! You can be super full without someone hammering at your poor cervix!!! Angles, people, angles!

Of course! Different strokes for different folks. Kinks and all that crap. But I am bringing this up because it is suddenly overly common. (I am also not intending to insinuate that anyone is a bad writer, this is merely a social commentary, concern for women, and what we are teaching young girls who inevitably find that fanfiction, like we did. I learned sex and kissing through reading fanfiction. I became curious about anatomy thanks to fanfiction. Yet I only found out where the urethra is a few years ago. TMI!! Venus why not just use a mirror? SHAME. WE ARE OVERRUN WITH SHAME and too many of us are victims of that!!) Oh boy I'm gonna get a reality slap in the face in the morning, or a few days later. I am generally shy when it comes to posting. But we persist.

SEX IS NOT PAINFUL. SEX DOES NOT NEED TO BE PAINFUL. SEX CAN BE LOVING BUT INTENSE. IT CAN BE ROUGH WITHOUT CAUSING CERVIX BRUISING. IT CAN BE FULFILLING WITHOUT MAKING YOU HAVE CRAMPS FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS BECAUSE SOME IDIOT KEPT HAMMERING INTO YOU.

Thanks for reading. Now it's almost 5am and I have a severe urge to insert this gif. It's hardly related. Take it as a token of my affection I suppose