friend: i'll pick you up at 5
clock: 5:01
me: wHeRE teh fuKc
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin

oozey mess

Janaina Medeiros

AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom

PR's Tumblrdome
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
Mike Driver
DEAR READER
Xuebing Du
dirt enthusiast
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States

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@stfuamy
friend: i'll pick you up at 5
clock: 5:01
me: wHeRE teh fuKc

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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literally anyone: [overwatch things]
me: [nodding, pretending i understand. i do not.]
me: mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste
mom: finish the one you have sweetie
me: it's empty
mom: *squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*
dr thot

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
feel free to fall in love w me im just chilling
“i expected better from you” well that was your fault lmao I got nothing to do with that
those little things on ur nose aren’t blackheads, don’t try and get rid of them they’re sebaceous filaments and they’re permanent and literally everyone has them
every girl has that little pouch of fat on her lower tummy, despite what magazines try n show u, you have important organs there that need to be protected don’t try and get rid of ur pouch
ur body is smarter than u think and it knows what to do when u eat more than normal. one bad day, or even week, of eating poorly isn’t gonna ruin anything at all I pinky promise
if u think u look good up until u try taking a selfie, it’s not ur fault - our faces are asymmetrical and when u see ur face flipped it will look unnatural to u, since u don’t see it that way when u look in the mirror. to everyone else it looks perfectly fine
no one’s stomach looks the same at 8pm as it does at 8am. no one has a chiseled six pack after a day of eating, not even the super fit people u see on tumblr, because ur stomach naturally expands after eating and expecting to have a flat tummy before bed is very unrealistic
no one notices if the bags under ur eyes are bad today. no one pays attention to the bump in ur nose or the zit on ur chin or the piece of hair that u missed when u were straightening. literally no one notices these things except you so stop worrying about it ur gonna be fine
sometimes u just gotta get over urself
this made me cry I needed it so bad
me going outside and trying to contribute to society after watching 20 conspiracy videos in a row:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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let me tell u as someone with no impulse control the ‘treat yo self’ episode of parks and rec is very dangerous
I just want to get dicked down again =/
old friends senior dog sanctuary did you mean to post this here
star wars spoilers
yoda is straight chillin
happy mother’s day to all the teachers i accidentally called mom that one time

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
when yr so tired ur eyelids are like SHUT IT DOWN BOYS but ur brian is like OPEN THOSE GATES LADS n ur closing ur eyes then opening then closing then opening then closing then opening then closing
“ur brian”
listen here mate i know what i said and i stick by it i cling to my mistakes like a real man
*exchanging wedding vows*
me: fullmetal alchemist my wife: *slightly differently from how I said it* fullmetal alchemist