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I’ve been an infantilist all my life, and I’ve been through those dumb annoying purge cycles that most of you AB/DL’s know about.

I reached a point where it weirded me out that i had this need to feel little, or to wear diapers. I reached the point where it mattered to much what others might think of me if they knew what I was doing. And I reached that point where I beat myself up about beeing so different than all the other people.. Inevitably i reached the point where i swore to give it all up, and threw everything away that made me feel safe along with my feelings, just so that I could be like everyone else.. And finally I reached the point where I felt way worse than I did before, and felt that I couldn’t keep lying to myself anymore.

Self acceptance is not easily achieved, and most AB/DL’s go through a somewhat similar cycle one or more times in their life, before they reach the final point of self acceptance. Personally having gone through that cycle several times, i still get those feelings from time to time, but at least for now, i feel that i can stay true to myself, and accept that i have these cravings that are a part of me. Some people have told me to grow up, and that what I am and do is disgusting. I don’t think it’s for anyone to judge something that they don’t understand. They don’t know how it makes us feel or how terrible we’re off without it. Without satisfying these needs, it would just leave a void that would need to be filled with other stuff.. I know I’ve said it before, but wearing diapers or being little is a very small price to pay to feel so good, secure and comfy. And there are way worse thinngs that you could have the need for.. personally i think a littleside is booth beautiful and super cute!, but i do get why some people might find it weird, some people just don’t get it, and that is fair enough. But i also think If they knew how great it makes us feel they wouldn’t dream of judging us.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how short life is, and that It’s very likely that we only get one chance to find the happiness that we want, and to reach the goals that we set. I think believing in yourself, and finding self acceptance is one of the most important goals to reach for, and it’ll surely make you more happy in the end. It’s hard feeling so different, and accept things that make you stand out of the croud, but that goes for a lot of things, like having a different sexuality or for example beeing an AB/DL.

I think we can go through life being our own worst enemy, or our own best friend. I believe chosing to work with yourself and not against yourself is an important factor to live a happy life. Life is not always easy, and surely not when you are an AB/DL, but staying true to yourself and really realise that you have your own life to live instead of pleasing everyone else will get you a long way towards self acceptance.

We’re all unique in our own way and we like different things, but that is what makes us the ones we are. And I think if we can stay true to that, that’s something we should be proud of.