Everything I didn't say...

I’ve reached the point where I don’t think I love you anymore but I still miss you a lot. My life has become a constant cycle of missing you but refusing to reach out to you because you haven’t reached out to me. It’s refusing to stalk your social media and not asking about you when I speak to our mutual friends because I don’t want to know and that knowing won’t change anything. It’s missing you but not doing a damn thing about it. It’s accepting that it’s okay to miss you but acknowledging that I am still moving forward.

They tried to keep the conversation going when both of them knew that there is something wrong between them. Then silence took over; lingered. And underneath that silence, she could feel a billion words that could’ve been said between them. She wondered if he could feel it too. But none of them spoke a word. Until the silence became too loud. Too loud, it was starting to get defeaning. But then again it was also too quiet. Too quiet, she could hear tiny cracks breaking.

But every time I try to move on, you’re right there.

You

It’s not like I even miss you anymore, I’m just disappointed in how you let things turn out…

“You’re starting to fade from my thoughts, and I’m no longer desperately holding on in fear that they’re the last thing I have of you. You’re gone, and what we had can never be brought back. And maybe that’s okay,”

I finally understand why the universe put you in my life. I cursed the universe many times for having brought a person into my life that brought me great pain but I have since then learnt how this pain has ultimately helped me. I have lost myself in the process of loving you and grappled at everything I knew to be a part of me only for it to disappear like dust before my eyes. I now know that since loving you, I am not the same person I was before. You have moulded me into the person I am today and you have not remained the same either. I am not who she was, I am who I am now. I have accepted that, in the process of loving you, I have learnt to appreciate myself and know my worth the way you couldn’t. So I’ve said goodbye physically but now it is my soul’s turn to let go of you.

“You are the root of all my problems, you always have been, but I’ve always been to blind to see it”

There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there was so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.

Stop pressing rewind on things which should be deleted from your life.

Please stop destroying what is left of your heart by constantly thinking about things that have broken you.