Light it up, Watch it burn

Jeff still thought about it sometimes, still wondered if he was good enough for Nick. Everything he knew in the bedroom came from experience with Nick. He didn’t know if there were things he could be doing, things that Nick would enjoy more than what they already did. But he still loved the time they spent together, how easy it felt. When they were close, the fears and uncertainties faded away. Jeff nuzzled against Nick’s neck, hiding his blush. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been craving Nick’s touch, but he didn’t want Nick to feel like he had to. But, everything Nick said, his gentle touches, Jeff couldn’t resist it even if he wanted to. Jeff shifted his hips forward, letting out a shaky breath against Nick’s neck, “You always make me feel good. Always.”

Jeff could never truly leave behind the fear that maybe he would hurt Nick the same way strangers had in the past. He was always scared Nick would do something he didn’t want just because he felt like he had to. Jeff never wanted to be like that. Jeff didn’t need it. Sure, it was nice, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t cross his mind, but holding Nick, feeling his heart swell with that warm feeling of love, that was all he needed. Jeff took a shaky breath, resting his head against Nick’s, his hips rocking forward as anticipation bubbled up inside him. He didn’t need it. Jeff could take care of himself later. But that didn’t make Nick’s touch any less enticing. Jeff whined softly, nipping back at Nick’s lip, “You’re making it really hard for me to be good...”

Sometimes, it was hard to get moments to themselves. Their schedules were a mess. That coupled with having a kid to take care of meant that these occasions were rare, but Jeff didn’t need this all the time. Falling asleep in Nick’s arms was enough. Having those moments of closeness was enough. Jeff chuckled, “You don’t have to do anything for me. I can take care of myself. I just want to hold you.” 

When he looks at me like that, I can’t say no to him... 

Jeff brushed his fingers through Nick’s hair, revelling in the moment, a moment that belonged to them. He’d never get tired of it, of hearing Nick get worked up, of knowing that he was the one Nick trusted. Jeff smiled as Nick said that word again, heart stuttering in a way he was surprised it still did when Nick said such sweet things. After all these years, Nick still had that effect on him. Jeff chuckled, peppering kisses against Nick’s neck, “You’re falling asleep.” He pointed out, gently nipping Nick’s skin, “It’s okay, you don’t have to do anything for me. We can just head to bed.”

Jeff brushed kisses along Nick’s jaw as he caught his breath, humming happily against his skin. Nick’s touch was always reassuring, a reminder that he was there and he was loved. Jeff enjoyed these quiet moments when he could just brush his lips along Nick’s skin, hoping to remind him of just how beautiful he was. Jeff sighed contently against Nick’s lips, pressing his body closer, “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.”

Jeff groaned softly as Nick’s thumb brushed over his cheek, such a soft sweet gesture. Jeff would never get enough of those little things, the things that told him how much Nick really cared for him. How lucky he was. Jeff kept moving even as Nick let go, taking everything he could get with a satisfied moan. When he finally pulled away, he peppered kisses up Nick’s stomach, to his chest and up his neck. He hummed happily against Nick’s skin, gently nipping his jaw, “I love you. So much. You’re so beautiful...”