Oh NO.

me, a sheltered noblewoman: Pray who is that brave knight? Dame Archer:*turns around* me: gasp! *instantly in love*

my bi heart………

I’VE NEVER SEEN THE ADDED PICS

*dies*

Oh shit.

GAY KNIGHTS

Fellas I’m real gay

@0hheytherebigbadwolf HELP!!

Every June this inevitably winds up back on my dash. And I appreciate that. And I will reblog it. Every time.

Hey, it’s @archerinventive, and the Pride Knights!

hi you’re so cute can i press my blade to your throat when i’m inside you?

Get a knight that loses their mind at the sound of your moans and can think of nothing else but being the cause of those sounds falling from those pretty lips

Get yourself a prince/ss that tries so hard to stay quiet, but just can't seem to keep the little gasps and sounds from escaping. It's almost like their knight is trying to push them on purpose.

Knight slowly and tragically falling in love with his cursed sword, who is inhabited by the soul of a more ancient and more tragic knight.

Everyone remembers their first sword boyfriend

non-religious knight slyly swapping the "the Lord [god]" in his vows with "my Lord [Prince]" and accidentally making his Prince a minor deity. The knight is his first worshipper. (and worship he will)

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

you are not immune to a psychosexual relationship with your sword

I gotta stop going to see the oracles. They've stopped predicting my untimely demise and now just talk about my life like it's an incredibly erotic slow-burn...