O. M. Grey

“Every once in a while I get the opportunity to read a piece of work that makes me think, ‘This is the one the will put this author on the map of the reading world.’ Avalon Revamped is that book for O. M. Grey. It deals with some horrific truths and should be read by every person on the planet. It is a great adventure, with serious underpinnings that elevate it into a higher realm of genre…

Copied from my personal blog. Although this blog has the history of posts chronicling my experiences over the past 8 years. The past few months have been many things. Inspiring. Validating. Triggering. Infuriating. Gratifying. Of course, I’m talking about the growing #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. At long, long last, survivors of sexual violence, abuse, and assault in all its forms are not only…

TW: sexual assault, rape, PTSD “It’s horrible and shameful that women in 2017 still live with the constant threat of sexual assault, but it’s a reality we don’t have to accept quietly.” (Source) A friend shared this Bored Panda article on my Facebook wall today: “Guy Left In Tears After Trying To Grope Woman, But Not Everyone Agrees She Has Right To Fight Back Like That” So many don’t understand…

I did it. Today I said goodbye. With a lot of love and kindness, along with the frank reasons behind it, I told my love farewell. Of course, he left me weeks ago, for the second time in two months. As you read in my last post, I was truly hoping for a 3rd chance, but it’s clearly not going to happen. (more…)

I’m sitting here on the banks of Luzernsee in Lucerne, Switzerland, and if there was ever a place to be heartbroken and confused, this is it. The only beauty that compares to the Alps are the Scottish Highlands, a different sort of beauty. Dark and wild, rather like my soul. I’m heartbroken and confused because I’m still sick with this virus, an affliction caught from a severely…

I Love You. Leave Me Alone. Please Come Back.

I was wrong. Well, at least partly wrong, which is know to happen from time to time. Last month, I wrote an angry, ranting post about RED FLAGS and Covert Narcissism, but what I failed to see were the Borderline aspects of this severely personality-disordered individual, who I have come to deeply love. My compassion for him is endless, and I wish him the absolute best in the time he has left. I’m…

Two years ago I posted this image on my OMGrey Facebook with the words “Never Again.” Someone commented “then he wins,” and it really pissed me off. It angered me so much that I wrote a blog post about it. Yesterday, I reread that blog post entitled “Then He Wins,” and I still agree with most of it, even though I was in a place of anger at that time. That’s a damaging thing to say to a survivor.…

A Reflection on The Master Builder

Last night I finally realized my dream of seeing Ralph Fiennes on the London stage. His inspiring work has touched me for the past twenty years from “Schindler’s List” and “The Constant Gardener” to “Maid in Manhattan” to his brilliant depiction of Voldemort. I felt truly blessed to see him perform live. His performance, of course, was phenomenal. I expected nothing less from Fiennes, and I…

Two Steps Forward…

…yep… You know what comes next. Any progress or learning truly takes on this pattern. We take two steps forward and just when we’re feeling so great about our progress we find ourselves taking one step back. Perhaps something unexpected happens, thus we take a step back to catch ourselves from falling. That’s normal, expected. Still, so many of us beat ourselves up for taking that step back. Self…

My Stories. My Choice.

My stories. My emotions. My blog. My life. My choice. Try to silence me and watch how very loudly and clearly I will speak. I will never, ever be silent again.

Who I Used to Be…

While waiting to catch my train to Lancaster today, I was chatting with a friend on WhatsApp. She told me how her teenage daughter is in a filmmaking class. It got me talking about my filmmaking days and how the documentaries can still be seen on YouTube. How I interviewed two of the greatest political minds of our time: Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky. How my first film theatrically premiered in…

The Dream of Connection

One day in high school, my English teacher showed us a short film that stuck with me. I don’t remember the name of it. I don’t even remember much of the plot, but I remember a few images and the emotions they inspired like it was yesterday rather than 30 years ago. An old woman sat crying alone, and she said, “I’m so lonely” out loud for no one to hear. Those words bring tears to my eyes. When I…

On My Own & != Too Much

Leicester Boer War Memorial This has been an incredible year so far! Since January 1st, I’ve met brilliant co-workers, made new friends, traveled to five countries (9 cities), reconnected with old friends, met someone special, and danced – danced – danced. For someone who has become accustomed to copious amounts of silence and solitude, all that has been considerable stimulation and emotion in a…

Lessons in Letting Go

Upon waking this morning, I slid my hand across my stomach. While I had slept, my PJs had shifted to expose some bare skin. An image came to mind. A lover’s gentle caress across my body while pulling me closer. A few tears soon followed as I realized: I hadn’t been touched tenderly by a lover in years. As I’ve learned through the stages of grief and recovery, it’s important not to push away…

The Moment You Smiled

The moment you smiled The moment you laughed The moment your sparkling eyes fixed on me The moment you spoke The moment you sighed That was the moment my soul was set free The curve of your neck The shape of your lips The way that you tilt your head when you speak The tone of your voice The depth of your mind The way that the raindrops fell on your cheek The light in your eyes Your manner so kind…

This morning I made myself a cup of coffee and warmed a powder sugar-topped pastry after I had fed the cat I’m sitting. The two of us enjoyed our Christmas breakfast in silence, other than the crackling fire (complete with holiday tunes) playing from my iPad Mini 2, compliments of Netflix. Once we finished our breakfast. Nox (the cat) munched on some treats that his parents had left for him in…