XXOX

today my therapist told me that sometimes negative feelings like guilt, anxiety, self loathing, etc are like the hiccups. they’re uncomfortable, we don’t like them, there’s no way to turn them off; they can even be incapacitating for a while. we don’t always know where they came from or when they’ll go away, so sometimes instead of focusing on why we feel a certain way we need to get better at recognizing its temporary nature, keeping perspective, and enduring discomfort. i feel like a lot of self-improvement rhetoric is about pinpointing specific causes for negative thoughts/behaviors so you can eradicate them, but people with chronic mental illness really need to work on allowing themselves to experience these feelings without going into a downward spiral.

today my therapist described the whole "not sick enough" spiel we all seem to fall into as digging yourself into the bottom of a hole, working really hard to climb out, and when you're almost at the top going "oh shit I was never in a hole!" and then jumping back down to the bottom and digging even deeper and honestly? yeah, sounds about right

“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.” - Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general

wowie, actually nourishing my body makes life so bright