the death of day and the birth of night.

I hate myself a lot of the time,

Most of the time,

All the time.

All because of it.

I hate that I can't stop the stupid, intrusive, loud voice that penetrates that one good part of my brain that I try so hard to protect, but can't.

I hate that no matter how hard I fight it, how much louder i try to be than it is, that I'm powerless to it, my screams are silent, my body is tired.

I hate that even though I know it lies, even though I know it's wrong, that it's so loud, I can't think clearly.

I hate that once it's there, that it makes it's way into my veins, my heart, my whole body.

I hate that it makes me feel sick.

I hate that it ruins everything.

I hate that I can't kill it.

I hate the way it grabs ahold of my lungs and makes it so much harder to breathe.

I can't fucking breathe.

I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate how because of it i hurt them...I upset them....

I hate how it overpowers me. I hate that no matter how hard I try to combat it, it keeps finding it's way in....

I hate that I don't know if it'll ever leave me alone. I hate that it suffocates me.