egglord

I just napped in bed with a ray of sunlight cast upon me. Man, this is cats shit. I get it cats. That's rpretty good.

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

You should be immediately suspicious of anyone who tries to convince you to hate other trans people.

this was tumblr in 2013

This is tumblr in 2026

guy working on an artwork they knew would push them technically: what the hell why do i keep doing this wrong. am i haunted by malevolent spirits and such

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

oh me? I lost my penis when I ignored the "Don't touch the machinery" sign. you know how it is

nearly ran a redlight thinking about >penis ripped off by penis gnomes on my way home from work

their name is fuckshit btw. who even gives a poop about fuckshit

craziest thing in the world is how many restaurants have started not including fries or any side whatsoever with their burgers meanwhile the burgers cost the downpayment on a new car. you want $19 for a fucking sandwich and you aint gonna give me even a scoop of coleslaw on the side? you’ve truly lost your fucking mind. i’m filing a class action lawsuit atp