stargazer

black lives matter

drinking alone at 2am in your bedroom, walking barefoot in a meadow, laughing uncontrollably with your best friend, letting the sun soak into you, doing nothing but still feeling productive, feeling happy and at peace with yourself for the first time in forever, the exhilaration you feel when you sneak out with your friends, eating something that tastes so good that you wish you could somehow taste more of it

it hurts so good in my heart to think about you. i wish you could love me the way i love you.

at this point in my life all i want is to wake up in the morning next to the love of my life and watch their peaceful face as they doze while the sun filters through our curtains, our cats coming to jump up on our beds. basically i just really need somebody to love i need somebody to love. can anybody find me somebody to love

i just wanna leave all responsibility behind, run off into a forest and be completely and utterly in love with nature and life.

i ruined both you and me without thinking of the consequences and tears that would eventually choke us until we were nothing more than limp, soulless matter in a dying world.

seeing as no one alive has asked me to be their valentine yet i've decided to hold a seance to see if i can find a ghost desperate enough to love me - who's in?

waking up to the sunrise every morning. you pull on a cosy sweater and wrap your hands around a cup of tea, walking through the dew on the grass. your pyjamas brushing around your ankles as you lean down to pick a fresh strawberry from your patch - the sweetness from the first bite consuming your senses for a second. the birds fill the air with their melodies and you feel at peace for the first time in forever.

if only i could put into words the things you do to my very being

blushing cheeks, natural, shaped nails, books both old and new, old dresses, antique furniture, plants, baking on a rainy day, the scent of perfume that you can't quite place, messy hair - strands pulled out to frame face, natural makeup but bold eyeliner, dancing in an empty field next to an old abandoned building, rainy days, sitting in a cafe by yourself, old paintings, charcoal and paint stained hands

it scares me how easily life can be taken away from us. one moment, we are sitting, laughing, present - the next, we are nothing. it is strange how, maybe a century after our death, we are forgotten as if we never even existed. or maybe we aren't. maybe a naive human will stumble across our name or a picture and suddenly, we are no longer dust. we are alive.

sneaking out at midnight through your window during summer. you can hear all the night sounds accompanying you as you walk, the sky is clear, the moon full and the air like a warm caress against your cheek. there are no troubles in the world. all is well.

i desperately want someone to love but i'm scared i'll mess it up somehow and i don't want to taint the pure idea of how to love and be loved

i want to have a beautiful feast laid out on a picnic blanket lazily eating, the afternoon sun filtering through the leaves of trees, my lover threading their fingers in my hair whilst we recite poetry to one another is that too much to ask