And when you asked Bucky about it, his reaction was weird. Apparently two of them were assigned missions before you regained consciousness; and the others did pop in, but you were asleep. An uncomfortable knot twisted in the pit of your stomach.

While it wasn’t uncommon to be assigned a mission back-to-back, it was strange that Sam was assigned another long-term mission just as soon as he got back. You remembered how Bucky tensed was when you asked for Sam specifically. His gaze was avoidant, answers short and clipped. Bucky clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so you decided to drop it. Something must have happened between them.

You wanted to believe him you did- but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. That also didn’t explain why you haven’t seen the others. Over the past few days the hours you’ve been awake have increased so surely they could have visited. But you swallow down your concerns, not wanting to seem clingy or desperate for attention. Surely, they have their reasons. They must be flooded with work. There’s no other reason for them to avoid you….right?

Even though they were your work colleagues first, only a fool can deny the unshakable bond you’ve formed. After everything you all went through together- you can never doubt them. Your faith and trust in each other was unquestionable. Even if you didn’t agree on certain things there wasn’t something you couldn’t come back from.

The only thing you should be focusing on now was healing. As soon as you’re given the green light, the sooner you can escape these mind-numbing white walls and wafts of disinfectant. And the sooner everything can return to normal.

Surprisingly, that green light comes much sooner than expected almost two weeks later. You walk through the doors of the med bay like you’re exiting a hospital, breathing a sigh of relief. You briefly glance down at the silver cane on your right hand, a temporary measure for support. You hear rustling from behind and then feel the warmth of Bucky’s presence. He had insisted on walking you to your room and laughed telling him you didn’t lose your memory.

Bucky was a step behind you as walked down the hall, heading towards your room. You couldn’t help but scan your surroundings, noticing that everything looked perfect and pristine, as if it wasn’t blown to bits a few weeks ago. Even the paintings were replaced. Guess that’s Stark’s due diligence for you.

Bucky’s steps came to a stop when his phone buzzed and you halted, looking back. He frowned, jaw clenching as he looked at the screen, “Stay right here. I’ll be right back in a minute.” He said, without looking up and turning on his heels.

You found the firmness in his tone weird but brushed it off, assuming his sudden shift was due to whatever he read on his phone. You continued walking down the hall, taking a left and walking further down before you reached your bedroom door. As you unlocked your door, you jumped, hearing Bucky call out your name. It was the panic in his voice that jolted you. You looked back at him with wide eyes and the creaked open, “What?” you sputtered out just as hastily.

His eyes were wide, flickering between your face and the space behind you. His lips were parted, ready to speak but unsure of what to say. You were quick to follow his gaze and what you saw surprised you. “This…..isn’t my room.” You said, though it sounded more like a question as your brows pinched in confusion. You turned to Bucky for answers.

Bucky licked his lower lip as he took a step forward. “That’s what I was notified about.” He began, “Apparently Stark felt the need to do some remodeling. Your room’s on the other end of the hall.”

That was random but you didn’t think much of it. It just meant your room was further away from Bucky’s.

Your room didn’t look like your room. It was plain. No personal effects. Nothing. Apparently, both Peter’s and your rooms were caught in the blast. But you could have sworn the bomb that went off wasn’t that big to have reached your rooms, but Bucky said otherwise. A twinge of sadness prickled your heart. All of your memories locked in little trinkles you’ve collected over the years, your picture albums from your childhood and the more recent ones of your days with everyone, with Bucky, were gone. Despite the thriving digital age, you had a fondness of keeping photo albums. They had a certain warmth and nostalgia to them. Running your fingers over the pictures, protected by the clear plastic film ignited the memory and all its feelings. Nevertheless, you have them locked in your heart. You were grateful that you were here to make new ones.  

A satisfied moan left your lips as you jumped onto the bed, spreading your arms and legs as you made an angel amongst the white cotton sheets. You laid there for a while, eyes shut, content to be back in your own space. The stillness in the room triggered something in your brain. You peek through one eye to find Bucky leaning against the door frame, one hand gripping the door handle, just…. staring at you.

His lips are drawn into a soft pout. Those big soft baby blues zoned in on you swirl with a certain vulnerability and your heart clenches. Bucky looks like a little hurt puppy. It’s the first time since your accident that he allows you to see the guilt eating at him. He blames himself for not being able to protect you. And so he stands there, waiting for your permission, your forgiveness.

You offer him a warm smile and reach out to him, “What are you doing alllll the way over there hmm?” you call out softly.

Bucky freezes.

He looks away, jaw clenched, shifting his weight from his right foot to his left. He’s fighting with himself again. You call out his name like a sweet melody and he crumbles. He slowly makes his way over to you, standing at the foot of your bed when you take his hand, tugging him down. It’s under the gentleness of your touch that his super solider body gives in, sinking into the plush mattress beside you. You lie on your side to face him entirely, resting your head under your arm and Bucky mimics you. The pair of you bask silently in each other’s presence. You eyes shift all over Bucky’s face, drinking in every inch of him. You note the slight wrinkles in his forehead from all his brooding to the stubble that has grown out a little and his eyes, heavy with an underlying sadness. And his lips, the prettiest shade of pink, still pulled into an adorable pout, looks soft and inviting as ever.   

You meet Bucky’s lingering gaze. The room is pin drop silent, so quiet that your ears catch Bucky’s soft exhales as he breathes. You lean in, noses almost touching, cupping his left cheek. Bucky’s eyes flutter shut, letting out an appreciative hum as he instinctively leans closer to you. You didn’t realize how tense he was until he deflated under your touch, shoulders dropping and leaning in.

Your thumb soothingly caresses his cheek. When Bucky finally looks at you, his eyes are glazed over. His hands twitch at his side. Slowly, you lean in, pressing your lips to his. The kiss is soft and warm, and so comforting. The tension from the last few weeks, and the hole in your chest that grew the last few months without Bucky’s presence closes. You finally allow yourself to just be.

“Missed you…” You mumble against his lips.

Bucky hums, eyes still closed, savouring the feeling of your lips against his, “Missed you so much, sweetheart.” Finally, he allows himself to touch you, gripping your chin, kissing you. His tongue darts out, and you part your lips, welcoming his warmth and the taste of him. You sigh into his mouth, hands tangling up in his hair as you roll yourself onto Bucky, straddling him.

Bucky makes quick work of removing your top before removing his, his hands, one warm and the other cool against you skin, sends shivers down your spine as he traces your waist. He looks at you like a man starved. He drinks in every inch of you, like it’s the first time. His mouth is on your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin as his hands continue to hungrily roam your body. You hiss at the sharp pain on your chest and hear Bucky chuckle. “ ’m sorry...” he grins up at you – no he isn’t, eyes dark as his tongue darts out to lick over the broken skin. Your stomach does somersaults as your need for him grows.

“Want you now, Bucky…” You say as you trail kisses along his jaw. “Need you now…” you breathe, biting and pulling on his earlobe.

The other side of the bed is cold when you wake up. You don’t think much of it, Bucky’s probably busy given that he’s been taking time off to help you recover the past few weeks. You almost trip over your own feet as your stand up, knees giving in. You balance yourself against the wall and manage to make it to the bathroom without your support. While waiting for the water to heat up you take the chance to examine yourself in the mirror. Your fingers dance all over your skin, skimming your collarbones and down your chest, over Bucky’s little love bites. They were littered all over you. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he tried to eat you. There was something different about Bucky last night. He was a little more rough than usual, not that you minded, it was something different, but it was the look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite figure out. There was something about the way he looked at you- it held a certain possessiveness but unbeknownst to you, something darker lingered deeper below the surface of those ocean eyes. The steam fogging up the mirror snaps you out of your thoughts. You shrug it off. Perhaps you were overthinking it. You step into the shower, welcoming the near volcanic temperature water hitting your skin, allowing your mind to drift, thoughts washing away with the water.

You stepped into the quiet hallway, looking right and left when you heard the faint sound of familiar voices coming from the kitchen. Your heart was racing as practically skipped down the hallway, albeit a bit awkwardly given you leaned on your cane for support and your legs were feeling like jelly thanks to a certain someone.

Just as you set foot into the kitchen you yelped as you bumped into a lean body. Your world was tilting until a pair of arms caught you by the waist, steadying you. You looked up and met a familiar pair of brown eyes.

“Peter!”

The spiderling called out your name in disbelief at the same time. His eyes were blown wide with a mix of bewilderment and confusion. He pulled you in the tightest hug, lifting you a few centimetres off the ground. “What..? You’re..but how?!” He exclaimed, head bouncing back and forth like a tennis ball on court as he looked between you and the others in the room for some explanation. His hold on you tightened and his eyes pricked with unshed tears. “You were….” He croaked out, his sentence dying on lips as he looked at something beyond you. His expression hardened ever so slightly.

You were solely focused on Peter and his jarring reaction to seeing you standing before him that you didn’t notice Tony and Nat in the room carefully watching the scene play out.

Did… Peter think you died? How- how could he not have known you woke up almost a month back? There’s no way- Surely someone on the team- surely Bucky would have told him and everyone…right?

You followed his line of sight to find Bucky, right behind you. Suddenly, you could feel the heat radiating off him like a furnace. You miss the warning glare that Bucky sends Peter, keep your mouth shut as he greets, you’re a smile and a kiss to your lips. It lasts longer than you expect. Your stomach twists as you’re aware that you have an audience. You feel Peter’s hands slowly slip off your shoulders as you squirm against Bucky.

When Bucky finally releases your lips, allowing you to catch your breath you slap his chest, shooting him a half-hearted glare. When you turn around Peter’s nowhere in sight and you sigh with defeat. “Could you maybe not eat each other’s faces for breakfast while I try to eat? Thanks.” Tony quips and your face burns with embarrassment.

You catch Nat snickering behind her mug, and you shoot Bucky a nasty look again. Bucky brushes you off with a shrug as he walks towards the island. You’re hot on his heels but before you can ask him about Peter you’re welcomed into Nat’s arms. She presses a sweet kiss to your cheek and shoots you a wink, “Welcome back, sleeping beauty.”

“Thanks Nat,” You breathe a laugh, “I missed you,” you pinch her cheeks, silently questioning her about her absence until now. Nat cocks a brow, her usual devious smile gracing her lips, “I was on a mission, just got back not too long ago.” She looks at Bucky, “I didn’t want to disturb you.” She grins knowingly and you roll your eyes. It’ll have to do for now.  

You grabbed a green apple from the fruit bowl, taking a bite, “So,” you began lightly, looking between the three as you leaned over the granite, “What was up with Peter’s reaction? The poor boy looked like he saw a ghost.” You frown, unable to hide your distaste. “Didn’t he know I was alright?” You’re aware your tone sounds accusatory, but you can’t get over how distraught the poor boy looked when he saw you.

Nat said nothing and Tony shrugged casually, like it was nothing important as he popped some almonds into his mouth. “I left the kid a voicemail, he must have missed it. He literally just got back from a mission.” You looked at Bucky who only nodded and shook your head. What…..?

It’s been a month. Was Peter gone on a month-long mission? Alone? Sure, he was capable, but he was still inexperienced to go on such long missions alone. Before you could voice your concerns FRIDAY speaks up, informing Tony that one of his guests has arrived, robbing you of your chance.

Still…something wasn’t right. Peter could be a little slow sometimes but the last thing he would ever do is miss one of Tony’s messages. You clicked your tongue in annoyance. No one could give you any straight answers. Not Nat, not Tony and certainly not Bucky and you were beginning to grow tired and frustrated of letting these things go. Over the last few weeks whenever you’d bring up the incident Bucky would brush you off or give you vague details about what happened, and who was behind it. At the time you let it go because your recovery took priority. Now that you were back in relatively good shape, the sugar-coated answers weren’t going to cut it.

You didn’t understand the secrecy. It was like everyone knew something you didn’t, and you did not appreciate it one bit. It hurt to think that Bucky most of all did not think you could handle it. It was a slap in the face. After all, you’ve been through much worse. You were tired of secrecy and half-truths. You needed to speak to Peter yourself.

Bucky could see the fury flare up in your eyes as the gears spun in your head. You were frustrated and your patience was running thin. You needed some answers to pacify you. Bucky instinctively grabbed your arm when you kicked off the Island, preventing you from going to Peter. He knew you too well and he also knew Peter. If he wanted everything to go smoothly, he realized he no longer could keep you in the dark about everything. He knew you’d seek out answers eventually. The most important thing was that he had to be the one to tell you exactly what you needed to know.

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