It’s Not Hording If It’s Books

"You like to walk a little too close to the edge..." "So do you."

Lucanis chooses the pantry to sleep in because he's been imprisoned and tortured for a year, and he's not ready to leave captivity yet, not inside his head. He locks himself in there because it's familiar misery to him, which is easier to deal with than scary freedom.

Lucanis' letter to Rook before he asks Emmrich to bring Zara back for questioning tells us he's suicidal at that point, and probably has been for a while. Spite, however, doesn't see him as a lost cause - he never uses that to take over Lucanis' body entirely. This is so interesting to me, when we know things like that pretty famously happen all the time in Thedas. He's determined to keep Lucanis alive - and he asks for Rook's help in doing so.

We are in the NORTH now BABY! Attitudes towards spirits and demons are different here, especially in Rivain, and it seems with our Rook too, who never expresses any chantry-esque hang ups (that I've seen). Seer Rowan greets Spite as Determination, and that's how he's introduced by Isabela (with some excitement) if you fight in the hall of Valor. What happened to Spite is just as sad as what happened to Lucanis. He was violated, perhaps corrupted, and definitely trapped - and hurts Lucanis sometimes in his frustration. But, I think he likes Lucanis! He's his host's little head gremlin, and I think the relationship they have (that we don't see too much of) is healthier than any of the possessed individuals we've seen before.

Because? Lucanis is not a spiteful person. He wants revenge, yes, and he's angry, but he doesn't hurt everyone around him because he's in pain. One of the first things he does when he becomes part of the team is go shopping for them. And despite how Ilario and Caterina have hurt him - and you can argue all day whether he's right to be like this - he still cares for them.

I think that when we help Lucanis leave the prison inside his head, we are helping Spite to return to his original nature as Determination just a little more. We're determined to help our friend, and you know what? Spite is too. For himself, firstly, because Lucanis's pain is hurting him, but in the end, he's done it for Lucanis too. There's an argument there that Determination didn't get corrupted at all - just hurt, and that Lucanis, with his loving nature, has been keeping him from turning into a mindless demon of pain.

I thought for a long time that when Lucanis breaks away from kissing Rook, it was because Spite said something horrible to him. But actually, I think it was Lucanis himself, remembering how trapped he is. Thinking about the eventuality of killing himself - I strongly suspect that's what he was thinking about before he fell asleep, and that's why Spite was trying to go walkabout - trying to get out from where Lucanis can't. Lucanis got lost in the moment, but of course he doesn't want to drag Rook into that.

Lucanis making dessert for Rook and thinking that's the same as asking them out (but not actually asking them out) is so completely on brand for him I laughed. He has no idea what he's doing. It would have been nice, though, for Rook to reply to one of the companion's 'so you're together?' banters with... 'we are?' Or for Rook to be able to ask him. Unfortunately, we don't get those convos where we can spam ask questions etc like in DA:I - I did wonder if that got cut and we missed some resolution to that.

Lucanis Dellamorte x GN!Rook (Mage)

Warnings: Injuries, Mentions of blood, NO Spoilers :) Summary: Lucanis gets injured as is too stubborn to ask for help with it. Hope you enjoy! Requests for Dragon Age are open

You spotted his limp almost immediately after the battle. The fight was a tough one, adding a few more scars to your already growing collection, no thanks to the Venitori. You watched as he limped through the Eluvian, whispering curses under his breath when his daggers would accidentally hit it. The group filtered out towards their rooms, getting ready to shed the armour that began to pinch at their skin after a long day. Magic hummed around them as they were greeted home.

The meditation chamber hummed in greeting when you walked through the doors. The sound of armour clattering on the ground as you peeled yourself away from it. You stood at the mirror examining the new collection of bruises and small scraps you had gained today. Your magic soothing the aches and pains away as the minor ones began to fade. Part of you wanted to join the others for whatever was for tea, the lingering exhaustion had finally caught up. You sighed as your body hit the chair in the center of the room, the cushions moulding around your body perfectly as you fell into a nap -praying that Solas would interrupt this one this time.

The sound of the door opening made you shoot up, your hair messy and sticking up all over the place. You rubbed the back of your hand over your eyes as you turned to face the intruder only to find Lucanis standing at the entrance. "Is everything alright?" You grumbled out. His posture was stiff even though he was hunched over, and a purple glow surrounded him to let you know that it wasn't him. "Spite?" You questioned again, sitting further up as you watched him walk around the chair in front of you. "The fool is injured and bleeding everywhere...help him" Spite gritted out before releasing his hold on Lucanis. You barely had time to catch him as the man fell forward collapsing half on you and the sofa. Then you could see the large patch of blood on the side of his leg. The blood had seeped through enough it lingered on your fingertips when you gently pressed it trying to find the wound.

"Maker Lucanis" you muttered as you manoeuvred him to lay on the chair. You knelt on the floor next to him, sending your healing magic to gently probe the area only to find that he had half wrapped it in a thick padding of bandages. You paused before, groaning loudly as your fingers began to undo the ribbons of fabric that held his trousers up before shimming them down to his knees. Your cheeks flushed at the intimacy of the situation; it had only been a few months and your constant flirting hadn't really got you anywhere besides lingering gazes and unspoken emotions behind his eyes. You cursed your fingers being so cold as you began to slowly unwrap the bandages on his legs, his body flinching as you accidentally made contact with his skin. The air between you both began to glow a light green as your magic had finally found its target, you watched carefully as the skin started to fuse together, the blood stopping its flow down his leg.

You moved from his side to grab a couple of washcloths and water before you began to gently clean the area. When you gazed back up at him, you were met with his eyes open watching you. The two of paused as you waited for him to speak first, you watched as his eyes flickered towards the light scar that lingered on his leg and then back to you. "Spite bought you here...He asked me to help" You spoke, your voice barely above a whisper as you waited for his reaction. "Of course, he did" Lucanis grumbled. You removed your hand from his leg, backing up away from the chair to give him room to move about. You eyed up the small whisps of hair that led to his underwear as he stood to dress himself. "I'm sorry for stepping in the wound was still bleeding and he asked me-"

"It's fine, Thank you"

You nodded as he stood up to leave. Your eyes lingered on his retreating form. Lucanis turned again, his fingers barely touching the door handle. "Hopefully next time I'm like that it won't be because of a injury"

"I'm so sorry, Lucanis. I promise I won't leave you to deal with this by yourself-"

"This isn't your problem, Rook." Even if he tried to pull his hand away from where she clasped it between both of hers, her grip is too tight for that.

And, if he stops to admit it to himself, a little too wanted, as well.

"It doesn't have to be yours alone, either. I just need to ask Neve something really quick, before I forget it happened."

Lucanis sets down his cup.

"Which part of it? The Venatori witch bathing in an ocean of blood or where she started to turn old the minute we pulled her out of it?"

"No, no, what she said - I'll be right back, I promise. Keep the coffee warm for me?" She forces a smile onto her face as his hand drops uselessly to his knee.

Then she trips over the edge of the rug and pulls down a chair as she all but flies out of the room and into - well, the courtyard, such as it is. Their plates still sit by the stove, cold and untouched. He'd made the gratin because of her off-handed comment that she misses it. Thought it turned out good, too, when he tasted it.

And now, because of him, she goes hungry and the dish cold.

Lucanis doesn't follow. If she wanted him to know, or thought he needs to, she would haven taken him along. He brews up another coffee, instead.

Spite threatens to split them down the middle by his legs for the inaction. So Lucanis makes the coffee a little stronger, chops up some extra dill for Rook's plate.

-

"Dulzura, what's wrong?" He finally asks, after the third of her sighs, each louder than the other, each sounding troubled like a cat that needs to get up and walk three steps for food.

"Oh, nothing," but her fingers grip tighter around her cup. "Don't worry about me."

"You worry about me all the time. Let me help."

Another heavy sigh, but the one that means she's worn down. He feels a little bad for pushing her.

She puts down her cup and picks up one of the Orlesian pralinés the Inquisitor had sent with the last missive from the South. Instead of eating it, she rolls it around between her fingers and gets chocolate crumbs all over the palm.

"It's about Illario. Well, Zara and Illario. I- have a theory. If you'd rather not talk about it-"

"Tell me." Rook lifts her head for just a second, considering how serious he truly is about the request. When she replies, she goes back to considering the praliné.

"I have reason to believe they were lovers."

Beside him, Spite screams so loud it makes his ears ring.

"Lucanis?" When he looks back at her, the worry in her eyes makes him feel sick.

"Explain."

"What she called him. Amatus. Before he killed her, and when - when Emmrich made her speak." Her tongue darts out, wets her lips, takes off what little glitter the day had left on them. "I asked Neve what it meant, and- she said it's a term of endearment."

No.

"No. We- we found the lovers. We killed her."

"Seems those two weren't the only ones."

Spite's tantrum feels loud enough to make her ears ring, also, even if she can't hear him right now. She can see the candleflame move with the rage.

"I don't know which is worse - that she helped him get rid of me because they were lovers, or that they teamed up and became lovers along the way. That they fell in love because of what I do to those around me."

The saucer cracks with how hastily she puts down her cup. Puts the hand not covered in chocolate on his knee. It does not still the bouncing.

"One does not have to be worse than the other. Sometimes things just suck. It's not because of what you do to those around you, or Spite. You care too much. I know you do." The words don't comfort him, and she can tell.

"Or maybe she dangled the prospect of affection in front of him to get him to do her bidding," she offers, eventually, poorly.

"You believe that as much as I do."

"I'm sorry, Lucanis. If there's anything I can-"

He leans back into his chair. His heart hammers in his chest, in his throat. He thinks he might cry.

"No, no. I- thank you, for telling me. I'll let you know as soon as Teia and Viago send word. Excuse me. I'd like to be alone for a moment."

"Of course," she squeezes his knee, pushes the plate of pralinés closer to him before he stands. "You're welcome to the pralinés, if you like. Chocolate always helps me calm down," she waves her dirty hand and pats the other on her belly with a small smile. "If you want to - not be alone, I'll be there."

Lucanis tries one praliné, but nausea makes him gurge it right back up.