SHOUT !

rafael has a 4 chilean banknotes and 2 us dollars stapled to his t-shirt as he stands proudly inside the santa moneda lobby, not having been kicked out just yet. he holds a sign that says today's my birthday and at his feet is a bucket ( that looks suspiciously like a mop bucket ). there are a couple of coins and a few banknotes inside of it. "it's my birthday," he says, pointing proudly to his handwritten sign. "i wouldn't say no to a little show of love, yeah?" he nudges the bucket gently, careful not to tip it over. "i'd take, like, a bag of chips or a sandwich if you don't have any money to spare either."

"  i've  been  saving  the  perfect  gift  for  you  all  year  …  a  big  kiss  .  from  me  .  "

@santastarthq

star  glances  in  the  direction  and  then  offers  a  raise  of  the  eyebrows  ,  "  can  you  blame  them  ?  i'm  sexy  ,  i  mean  ,  this  dress  is  giving  everything  ,  "  but  she's  not  interested  in  the  guys  that  seem  to  be  over  there  tonight  .  she  has  something  else  on  her  mind  for  once  .  "  not  tonight  .  i'm  trying  to  figure  something  out  …  something  big  .  "

˗ˏˋ ✦                  ⟶  "  um.  no.  "  nolan  is  quick  to  shut  her  down, shaking his head.  he's  flattered,  really,  albeit a bit caught off guard by her forwardness. he's  still  processing  heartbreak  (  no  need  to  comment  on  the  months  that  had  passed  )  and  also,  picking  up  neighbours  in  front  of  his  building  just isn't  really  his  style.  he  just  wants  his  pen back,  something  he's  quick  to  reiterate.  "  i'm  looking  for  an  actual  pen.  the  type  you  write  with  ?  here  let  me  ──  "  he  goes  to  take  his  phone  from  his  pocket,  wondering  if  maybe  he  has  a  photo  where  he's  holding  it  or  something,  but  he  quickly  decides  that  that  can  also  be  misconstrued  by  this  stranger  as  inappropriate.  instead  he  makes  a  writing  movement  through  the  air,  "  no  innuendos,  or  anything...  ── i'm  going  to  take  this  that  you  haven't  seen  it  ?  "  

not  off-put  by  the  idea  of  a  little  timidness  ,  opportunity  to  flirt  with  even  the  most  reserved  something  she  relishes  ,  her  gaze  follows  him  around  with  intent  .  "  i  haven't  seen  it  …  "  she  says  ,  red  lined  lips  pressed  together  momentarily  as  she  steps  a  little  closer  ,  voice  hushed  as  she  looks  around  as  if  keeping  a  secret  ,  "  but  i  hear  that  sometimes  if  you  lose  something  ,  you  should  let  it  go  .  if  it  doesn't  come  back  to  you  ,  it  was  never  yours  to  begin  with  ,  "  something  that  was  teasing  but  aptly  described  most  her  own  life  experiences  .  she  was  often  left  with  nothing  but  didn't  seem  to  bat  an  eyelid  .  "  what  if  i  have  something  better  than  a  pen  ?  "

he  doesn’t  go  outside  very  often.  maybe  it’s  a  bit  pathetic,  maybe  he’s  taking  vampire  being  in  his  spotify  wrapped  playlist  a  bit  too  serious  these  days,  but  zac  has  become  more  of  a  homebody  more  than  anything.  unlike  childhood,  running  around  in  the  woods  and  not  caring.  but  he’s  in  chile  —  the  scenery  is  nice,  so  he’s  taken  his  tablet  and  doing  some  actual  work  (  is  this  what  adults  do?  )  and  brought  it  to  the  park.  zodiac  deserves  some  time  outside,  too,  except  for  his  mandated  walks.  so  here  they  sit:  zac,  like  most  days,  face  first  into  some  kind  of  device,  and  zodiac  sniffing  at  every  passer  -  by.  it’s  like  a  win  -  win  (  is  this  what  milani  meant  by  socializing?  ) the   only   thing   that   keeps   him   from   fully   zoning   out   is   hearing   zodiac's   tags   jingle,   moving   to   sniff   at   whoever   came   up.   “he   won’t   bite,”   he   doesn’t   look   at   them,   just   continues   to   look   out   at   the   screen   in hands.   “he’s   a   good   boy.”   zodiac   hasn’t   bitten   anyone   besides   his   summer - fling   in   his   life,   actually,   and   dogs   have   like   ..   great   vibe   radars. looks up after a particular hard smash of keys, settling back on his hands. “y’can  sit  and  play  with  him,  he  loves  people.”

her  walks  through  the  park  were  probably  different  to  most  ,  more  often  than  not  a  warm  up  or  cool  down  from  a  series  of  unfortunate  events  that  involved  drinking  and  wandering  around  .  as  her  gaze  flittered  down  to  the  dog  ,  a  pair  of  pink  sparkling  heels  in  hand  that  matched  her  coat  and  the  long  cream  socks  she  was  wearing  dirtied  from  walking  along  …  long  eyelashes  batting  .  "  of  course  he  wouldn't  bite  me  -  he  knows  i'm  a  good  girl  ,  "  as  if  it  was  something  that  made  her  bustle  with  pride  although  the  last  thing  most  people  used  in  vocabulary  to  describe  star  was  good  .  she  was  a  lot  of  other  interesting  things  but  good  was  a  misappropriation  .  "  are  you  going  to  play  with  me  too  ?  or  is  that  phone  too  interesting  ?  "  she  lulls  ,  a  mischievous  look  on  her  face  .

star  might  not  have  had  a  mother  but  she  had  been  mothered  .  times  when  even  her  sexual  prowess  wasn't  enough  to  overpower  the  ingrained  helplessness  that  you  might  have  sensed  around  her  .  she  was  capable  ,  she  just  didn't  apply  herself  unless  she  had  to  …  her  head  tilts  back  as  she  sighs  ,  "  wow  ,  that  really  hurt  .  i'm  not  sexy  because  i'm  a  baby  …  "  although  she  didn't  mind  that  either  ,  eager  to  play  into  whatever  others  thought  of  her  and  take  full  advantage  of  whatever  was  on  offer  .  she  was  an  opportunist  ,  selfish  really  but  not  completely  thoughtless  …  she  would  offer  what  she  could  in  return  but  that  was  mainly  a  free  pass  to  party  ,  thoughtless  advice  and  sharing  clothes  .  star  hadn't  spent  time  trying  to  become  a  better  person  ,  she  was  already  a  better  actress  …  a  better  throwaway  girlfriend  …  a  better  star  .  she  laughs  ,  not  answering  about  the  food  because  she  knows  that  it  was  coming  one  way  or  another  and  she  would  eat  it  .  she  shrugs  her  shoulders  ,  "  boring  …  "  she's  twisting  a  ring  on  her  finger  that  glimmers  in  the  light  ,  "  i  was  checking  out  the  local  talent  but  nobody  sexy  enough  to  fawn  over  today  ,  i'll  try  again  tomorrow  ,  "  that  was  her  life  ,  really  .  waiting  for  the  next  person  to  come  along  .  waiting  for  the  next  crash  and  burn  relationship  .  not  because  she  couldn't  do  something  else  with  her  life  but  because  she  already  knew  that  was  what  she  did  best  …  entered  head  first  into  turmoil  .  "  ooh  ,  we  could  watch  a  christmas  movie  .  last  year  i  made  ginger  bread  people  ,  "  well  ,  jessie  did  .  but  she  watched  .  so  …  technically  .

˗ˏˋ ✦                  ⟶ she  seems  like  she's  telling  the  truth,  all  wide  eyes  and  innocent  smiles,  but  elijah  still  feels,  for  some  reason,  like  he  should  be  suspicious.  still,  her  logic  is  sound  ──  she  is  very  pretty,  and  they  do  live  in  the  same  building,  so  it's  possible  that  the  little  neg  of  recognition  in  the  back  of  his  mind  just  comes  down  to  that.  he decides not to question it. star  breezes  past  him,  uninvited,  and  he  lets  her,  watching  stupidly  as  the  woman  makes  herself  at  home  on  his  couch.  "  real  housewives  ?  like  the  tv  show  ?  "  he  asks,  as  though  that  isn't  obvious  ──  he's  still  recovering from the fact that  she  just  waltzed  in  without  pause.  stepping  back  into  the  hallway,  he  does  one  last  check  for  those  prank  cameras  he's  convinced  have  to  be  the  answer  to  her  odd  behaviour,  but  not  seeing  anything, he  quietly  shuts  the  door.  if  you  can't  beat  'em  ──  join  '  em.  elijah  jumps  over  the  back  of  the  couch  to  sit  down  beside  her,  pulling  back  some  of  the  couch  cushions  until  he  locates  the  remote  to  hand  it  over.  "  no.  didn't  you  hear  ?  there's  someone  in  the  building  who's  going  around  stealing  everybody's  chocolate  and  i'm  not  about  to  make  myself  a  target,  "  he  informs  her  factually,  as though that was his reasoning and not the fact that he's forgotten to grocery shop for a few days. "  and  guess  what  ?  i  haven't  had  any  chocolate  taken.  "  a  thoughtful  pause.  "  i  think  i  have  pretzels  around  here  somewhere  ? "  

"  duh  .  you  have  no  idea  what  you're  missing  out  on  …  wait  until  you  watch  long  enough  to  get  to  the  live  reunion  ,  "  she  had  been  a  fan  of  reality  television  her  whole  life  ,  modelled  after  characters  that  were  beloved  and  loathed  by  the  nation  .  star  knew  what  it  meant  to  be  memorably  and  she  rightly  or  wrongly  marvelled  at  the  attention  certain  people  garnered  .  in  another  life  then  maybe  she  would  have  gone  for  reality  television  instead  of  acting  and  dancing  ,  with  another  mother  then  she  could  have  been  a  washed  up  reality  tv  contestant  rather  than  an  in  and  out  of  paparazzi  shot  b  list  actress  .  still  ,  she  barely  got  hung  up  on  what  could  have  beens  ,  often  caught  in  one  moment  and  then  the  next  rather  than  staying  in  one  place  .  she  tucks  orange  hair  behind  her  ear  as  she  makes  herself  more  comfortable  ,  arm  leaning  over  the  back  so  her  body  is  angled  towards  him  in  that  never  changing  almost  too  close  for  comfort  way  .  "  they  sound  like  they're  onto  something  …  a  little  thief  amongst  us  …  maybe  they'll  come  to  my  apartment  next  ,  "  the  idea  excited  her  ,  a  bit  of  drama  never  amiss  although  she  definitely  had  no  chocolate  .  although  ,  star  did  find  that  she  often  had  things  at  home  that  she  hadn't  bought  ,  her  fridge  stocked  …  a  mystery  she  didn't  care  to  solve  because  it  was  of  benefit  to  her  (  and  unlike  others  ,  this  didn't  bother  or  scare  her  in  case  there  was  an  intruder  in  her  new  home  )  .  "  pretzels  …  i  guess  they'll  do  .  do  you  have  a  blanket  ?  "  she's  stretching  ,  legs  extending  as  makes  a  point  of  demonstrating  her  need  for  said  blanket  as  if  she's  launching  a  full  slumber  party  .  "  i  need  to  get  comfy  if  i'm  going  to  watch  a  whole  season  today  .  "

there was little carlos could think of to describe star other than that she was a character of sorts. there was always some witty remark or nonsensical chatter coming out of her that he couldn't quite keep up with, but this felt like it was being taken to new heights. even for her. his features were screwed into a cross between something resembling confusion and humour as he hung in the doorway, his fingertips gripping the frame above while he looked down at her like she was an alien with two heads. " did you fall and hit your head this morning? are you concussed? " the question laced with a lightheartedness so as not to sound entirely serious, but you really could never be too sure. " do i need to take you to the hospital? quick, what year is it? name a food that starts with the letter f. " one hand dropping until he was holding two fingers in front of her face. " how many fingers am i holding up? "

"  i  wouldn't  get  a  concussion  …  unless  it  was  to  see  a  hot  doctor  ,  "  she  brushes  off  ,  her  outfit  not  particularly  of  what  she  was  up  to  .  the  response  from  carlos  seemed  to  be  mainly  ignored  when  she  puts  her  hands  on  her  hips  ,  "  i'm  thinking  about  getting  into  porn  .  i  mean  ,  b  ranked  tv  characters  were  good  but  i  just  think  i  have  the  boobs  for  porn  instead  ,  "  she  tells  him  without  so  much  as  a  twitch  ,  nothing  surprising  when  it  came  to  her  line  of  thinking  .  star  always  saw  herself  as  a  commodity  ,  sexual  power  something  that  she  had  ownership  over  and  a  new  venture  was  always  right  around  the  corner  although  when  her  mother  called  then  her  ideas  would  soon  realign  to  whatever  seemed  good  for  the  family  brand  (  although  this  mainly  seemed  to  be  a  husband  )  .  "  always  with  the  food  …  "  not  that  she  didn't  like  eating  it  ,  life  skills  lacking  .  she  brushes  some  hair  back  over  her  shoulders  ,  "  why  hasn't  anyone  wifed  you  up  ?  "

"  i  just...  ──  i  dropped  a  pen out here somewhere,  and  it's  kind  of  important  to  me.  i'm  wondering  if  you've  seen  it  ?  it's  about  this  big,  "  he  brings  his  fingers  up  to  demonstrate,  "  black  with  gold  trim.  it'll  drive  me  insane  if  i  have  to  switch  pens  in  the  middle  of  the  same  journal... please  tell  me  you've  seen  it  ?  "  

response  offered  ,  a  look  shot  in  his  direction  that's  both  questioning  and  suspicious  before  she  quips  back  ,  "  i  bet  that's  what  a  creeper  would  say  ,  "  although  star  probably  wouldn't  be  afraid  .  she'd  be  the  main  character  in  a  slasher  film  who  got  murdered  in  the  first  five  minutes  for  trying  to  flirt  with  a  serial  killer  …  never  seeming  to  have  any  real  perception  of  danger  or  things  that  she  shouldn't  do  .  you  only  lived  once  .  if  it  wasn't  true  then  would  zac  efron  have  got  it  tattooed  ?  she'd  seen  down  to  earth  ,  he  was  as  wise  as  he  was  hot  .  "  hmmm  ,  a  pen  ?  is  that  an  innuendo  ?  "  her  attention  turns  ,  eyebrow  raising  as  she  runs  her  finger  over  her  made  up  bottom  lip  ,  mouth  opening  a  little  when  she  says  ,  "  if  this  is  your  idea  of  a  little  sexy  game  then  i  could  get  into  it  .  i'll  help  you  find  your  little  special  golden  pen  …  "

the  term  don't  talk  to  strangers  has  never  applied  to  wayland  vycarro  –  by  infanthood,  her  mother  had  been  pretty  much  instilling  the  need  to  talk  to  anyone  who  would  listen.  it's  kind  of  a  fucked  up  version  of  stranger  danger,  because,  well,  that's  exactly  what  she  did  and  it's  something  she  never  grew  out  of.  she's  not  afraid  to  just  say  anything  for  the  hell  of  it,  and  wavy  is  sure  that  she  lacks  a  bit  of  tact  ..  but  it's  no  fun  being  polite  all  the  time,  despite  how  many  people  seem  to  be  biting  their  tongues.  honesty  is  the  best  policy,  and  that's  the  real  world,  sucker.  and  now  without  dropping  more  lore,  she  opens  the  door  to  attempt  to  get  her  mail  that  she's  been  ignoring  for  the  past  week,  if  her  partner's  complaints  were  any  indication  of  how  much  she  needs  to  do  that  –  giving  a  blank  stare  at  the  girl  on  the  other  side  of  the  threshold.  "you  don't  want  me  touching  your  car."  ain't  that  the  truth.  the  only  person  who  may  have  been  worse  when  it  came  to  vehicles  was  probably  the  one  in  front  of  her,  but  who's  to  say.  "y'could  try   aaa  —  i  don't  know  if  they  got  that  here,  but  worth  a  shot.  or  craigslist  for  sweaty  handy  man  dads  looking  to  make  a  few  quick  bucks,  if  you  sort  out  the  creeps  first."

it  could  have  been  a  car  crash  or  a  match  made  in  heaven  ,  two  uninhibited  souls  colliding  with  little  concern  on  how  the  world  perceived  them  .  that  particular  moment  was  just  a  moment  though  ,  harmless  ,  silly  in  a  sense  …  not  meaning  all  that  much  at  all  .  star  had  no  intentions  of  starting  a  car  and  as  the  other  tells  her  a  similar  tale  of  inadequacy  in  the  area  of  mechanics  ,  her  momentum  for  the  role  is  quickly  lost  with  her  attention  span  moving  on  .  "  a  few  quick  bucks  ?  they  should  pay  me  for  the  honour  of  being  at  my  service  ,  "  she  lulls  back  onto  her  feet  ,  hanging  heavily  in  the  doorway  for  only  a  second  before  perking  up  .  "  so  ,  can  i  come  in  or  are  you  going  to  leave  me  out  here  all  on  my  own  ?  i'd  love  some  company  in  this  trying  time  ,  "  blinkering  her  eyelashes  as  if  a  lot  of  convincing  was  necessary  ,  always  ready  to  improve  her  offer  .

so. drew has fucked up his life so spectacularly that his inability to read the street signs or communicate at all in the primary language of the country he's living in somehow isn't even one of his top five most glaring problems. it is a problem for him, though, and so he's sort of stuck relying on the buddy system every time he leaves his apartment building. fortunately, drew doesn't mind the company of others. "honestly, you're doing me a favor," he tells star, "i don't know my way around town yet and since slushies are my answer to a morning coffee, my wake up routine has been more miserable than nancy thompson's since i moved here. granted," he shrugs, "i didn't move here that long ago, but, you've seen that movie, right ? " drew doesn't wait for a response. "you get what i mean."

"  if  you're  waking  up  miserable  then  maybe  you  just  need  something  new  to  wake  up  too  ,  "  lamented  heavy  in  flirtation  although  her  tone  was  always  this  way  ,  so  thick  with  suggestion  that  you  never  really  knew  what  was  real  .  hair  bouncing  as  she  walks  ,  maps  still  leading  the  way  to  through  their  new  home  full  of  cultural  awakenings  that  star  would  easily  be  oblivious  to  .  "  nightmare  on  elm  street  ,  right  ?  "  she  isn't  brain  dead  ,  knows  enough  about  a  variety  of  things  and  pop  culture  was  up  there  .  she  watched  movies  .  (  talked  through  most  of  them  with  her  mouth  full  of  popcorn  unless  she  was  pretending  to  be  civilised  but  her  eyes  had  been  open  )  .  "  do  you  like  scary  movies  ?  "  spoken  in  homage  to  the  scream  franchise  in  an  over  dramatised  spooky  voice  .

               milani   had   always   been   the   type   who   found   it   easy   to   entertain   herself.   she   could   easily   take   up   space   in   any   room   and   never   feel   out   of   place.   in   the   absence   of   others,   she   didn't   feel   lonely   ⸻   or   rather,   she   didn't   allow   space   for   herself   to   get   lonely.   milani   wrapped   herself   up   in   reality   tv,   new   album   releases,   cooking   new   dishes,   online   shopping,   trying   a   new   make   up   look   ⸻   anything   to   keep   her   mind   occupied   and   away   from   the   knowledge   that   if   she   went   missing,   there   was   no   one   around   to   notice.   she   was   halfway   through   a   new   liquid   liner   look   (   completely   designed   around   her   outfit   )   when   star's   knocks   floated   up   and   over   her   fourth   replay   of   ungodly   hour.   the   smile   she   initially   wore   waned   into   something   of   a   confused   pout   as   star   lamented.   ❝   girl,   what   are   you   talking   about   ?   ❞   she   questioned,   head   tilted   to   the   side   another   representation   of   her   confusion.   ❝   i   didn't   know   you   could   drive   ?   all   that   time   i'm   ordering   us   ubers   to   get   downtown   and   you   could   have   drove   us   there   ?   ❞   it's   clear   by   incredulous   tone   that   milani   doesn't   believe   star   has   her   license   let   alone   a   car,   but   she'd   been   wrong   about   star   before.   ❝   do   you   wanna   come   in   ?   i'll   order   us   some   sushi.   ❞

"  ooooh  ,  sushi  ,  "  she  chimes  ,  an  offering  of  food  something  that  she  would  never  turn  down  ,  visibly  lit  up  by  the  idea  as  she  enters  .  in  some  ways  the  two  women  couldn't  have  been  more  different  but  in  others  ,  they  seemed  to  find  a  common  ground  to  stand  on  …  shared  love  for  some  of  the  finer  things  in  life  and  a  little  bit  of  drama  .  star  could  have  probably  been  fine  on  her  own  if  she  actually  tried  .  it  was  obvious  that  she  never  struggled  to  manufacture  her  own  entertainment  whether  that  was  annoying  other  people  or  getting  involved  in  things  that  were  none  of  her  business  (  so  annoying  other  people  ,  really  )  .  she  doesn't  think  she  needs  to  address  her  fantastic  acting  job  about  the  car  ,  a  little  rehearsal  for  her  next  audition  after  being  out  of  the  big  city  for  a  little  while  …  she  still  liked  acting  .  even  if  she  had  never  known  how  to  do  anything  else  but  be  in  some  kind  of  b  list  spotlight  ,  it  didn't  mean  she  hadn't  loved  and  been  good  at  her  career  .  she's  standing  in  the  middle  of  the  room  with  her  phone  pulled  out  in  her  hand  ,  "  do  you  think  eddy  misses  me  ?  "  she  asks  ,  a  clear  sign  of  boredom  .  her  constant  string  of  flings  seems  to  be  never  ending  ,  a  distraction  from  anything  that  might  be  important  in  life  or  something  to  obsess  over  so  she  never  has  to  be  a  real  adult  …  in  the  end  milani  will  know  even  in  such  a  short  period  of  time  that  star  cares  about  her  relationships  as  much  as  she  cares  about  shoes  …  they're  amazing  to  wear  in  the  moment  but  forgotten  when  the  next  one  comes  along  .  "  i  just  feel  like  he  must  be  really  missing  me  .  we  had  something  so  special  …  that  three  weeks  that  we  shared  was  so  full  of  passion  and  even  though  i  found  out  he  was  seeing  other  girls  and  then  cut  up  his  jacket  …  it  could  be  such  a  great  story  for  our  wedding  .  maybe  he's  the  one  …  "  sighs  ,  a  fantastic  delusion  that  would  be  forgotten  after  a  scroll  on  instagram  .

˗ˏˋ ✦                  ⟶ elijah  blinks  stupidly  at  the  woman  standing  outside  his  door..  leaning  forward,  he  peers  out  into  the  hallway,  looking  left,  right  ──  wondering  if  somewhere  there's  youtube  prank  channel  waiting  to  yell  '  gotcha  !  '  at  him.  there  is  no  car.  they  most  definitely  aren't  on  a  country  road.  in  fact,  they  are  several  stories  off  the  main  floor,  and  if  there  was  a  car  here,  elijah  was  certain  the  two  of  them  would  have  bigger  problems  than  a  flat  tire.  slowly,  he  lowers  himself  back  onto  the  heels  of  his  feet  and  squints  at  the  woman.  "  the  last  thing  i  want  to  do  is  call  you  a  liar, ma'am,  "  he  places  his  hand  against  his  chest  earnestly,  leaning  against  the  doorframe.  his  eyes  flicker  down  the  hall  once  more  (  he's  still  not  entirely  sure  that  this  isn't  a  set  up.  )  "  but  there's  no  car  here,  and  even  if  there  was  i  have  no  idea  how  to  change  a  flat  tire.  do  i  know  you  from  somewhere  ?  "  there's  no  pause  as  he  suddenly  changes  gears,  his  expression  shifting  from  confusion  to,  well,  confusion,  but  this  time  with  some  glimmer  of  recognition.

any  engagement  was  just  an  invitation  to  her  ;  she  was  a  woman  who  thrived  on  the  attention  of  others  no  matter  how  short  lived  ,  no  matter  how  it  was  delivered  .  "  it  would  be  rude  to  call  me  a  liar  ,  "  she  warns  ,  eyes  big  ,  sparkly  and  blinkering  as  she  maintains  her  innocence  despite  them  both  knowing  that  there  was  no  car  to  speak  of  on  such  a  floor  of  their  building  .  "  um  ,  you  recognise  my  beautiful  ,  sexy  face  from  all  the  times  our  paths  have  mysteriously  crossed  around  here  ?  "  she  suggests  as  she  walks  past  inviting  herself  into  the  apartment  without  a  second  thought  and  brushing  him  off  ,  "  anyway  ,  it's  only  right  that  you  invite  me  in  at  this  time  of  need  .  where's  the  remote  ?  there's  an  episode  of  the  real  housewives  that  we  need  to  watch  …  "  sitting  down  and  making  herself  comfortable  ,  "  do  you  have  any  chocolate  ?  "