Star Eyed Esper

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

Constantly humiliated

Me rn, me all the time

You’re extremely late to the party. We all already finished laughing at this

[steals your baby immediately after his birth][raises him][trains him in the ways of an ancient martial art invented by cormorant fishers in 700 ad for 13 years][enters him in a tournament][he loses in 4 rounds] ok whatever. you can have him back

this is honestly such a good idea

nobody coughs up blood dramatically into their handkerchiefs anymore

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" You are weak as Fuck boy

One of the best stories humanity ever produced was a draft of a rewrite of the Epic of Gilgamesh written by a Ecuadorian poet in 1935. It was tossed into a fireplace by an angry boy and lost forever. Another of humanity's best was told 65,000 years ago and was overheard by a small tribe of embarked Neanderthals boating down a river in what is now northern Georgia. A short woman at the bank scrubbed a wooden idol in the water and sang an ancient tale in an unknown language. These two are eclipsed by everything produced by two brothers at the coast of what is now Cameroon between 503 BC and 490 BC, which they shared with some family and friends, and were beloved by everyone except a sour uncle.